life with the lieutenant

I come to you this afternoon, folks, from the couch. My house is a big, chaotic mess. My in-laws will be arriving in-country in a few short hours. I have laundry to do, floors to clean, eight million freaking toys to pick up. But I think I'll just hammer out a few bullet points and ignore all of my adult responsibilities for a while longer. Yes? Yes.

• Spring is here! It's freaking amazing! Stuff just started blossoming overnight and we are going outside in tshirts and shorts and sandals and leaving the windows open all day! I have also come to realize that Korea gives me allergies. So I sound like a raspy 92-year-old man who smokes at least 3 packs a day. I also keep multiple tissues stashed in my purse and on my person because at any given moment, my nose can (and will) turn into the leakiest of faucets. So that's a cute look.
• The kids' preschool is taking a TWO-WEEK-LONG spring break, effective 3 days ago. This is.... troubling. To say the least. Also, the sitter is leaving the country. Ahhhh-mazing. Not.
• I made a phone call this afternoon, and while battling the little monkeys off of me so I could attempt to speak in full sentences with my old man voice, I had a little slice of quiet. Oh lovely, they must finally be doing something they can both agree on. Except then I heard them giggling, and looked into the kitchen to see that they were dancing around, dumping a 2lb bag of shredded cheddar onto my white-tiled kitchen floor. It is some divine miracle that this cheese-splosion coincided perfectly with naptime. Otherwise there might have been more to clean up than just cheese.
• I woke up this morning and immediately realized that I didn't take a photo yesterday. Wah! I messed up my streak! Part of me (well over 50% of me) thinks that the Project 365 is ruined. RUINED, I TELL YOU. The other part of me (the teeny part of me that is somewhat rational) says that it's just one day. Take a picture today and move on! So I will. I guess. I even searched my phone, hoping that at least I took a picture with THAT. But no. We played on the playground yesterday afternoon (amazing light, of course- no camera, of course) and I pulled out my phone to take a picture of the kids on the seesaw. Then that annoying message popped up and said, "You must delete pictures (because your kid probably took no less than 84 pictures of his forehead and train tracks). No more room." I actually took a pretty long video of Sam singing "Frozen" (he just yells the words "let it gooooo!" over and over while frantically waving his arms back and forth- guy friends, we need them- chop chop Aggie and crew!) and that was probably worth eating up a lot of storage on my phone, but dammit if this isn't bugging me. I cannot go back in time to take a picture of yesterday. Nor do I want to revisit yesterday either. So much whining. I searched EVERYWHERE for my cheap wine last night after chucking the kids in bed and behold, I was OUT. Steve told me to open a good bottle, but I just wanted an angry drink and did not want to waste good wine on an angry drink. (Am I the only one?) I had a beer. It was good. The End.
• Conversation with Sam the other morning-
• Sam: Muwm, dees are yer bewbs.
• Me: ((trying to ignore this conversation, and kicking myself for ever letting that word slip in front of him))
• Sam: ((points to Cinderella on Molly's sippy cup)) Dees are HER bewbs!
• Me: Sam, yes, those are her bewbs. We don't need to focus on that though. She has a nose too, but do we go around pointing noses out? No. So there are a lot of parts to people's bodies and yes, they're there, but no, we don't need to point them out all the time, ok? There are so many other things we can talk about.
• Sam: Dees are my nepples. ((pinches himself))
• Me: Omg I need more coffee for this.
• A friend gave me a flowering potted plant at Molly's birthday party. This is how I am doing with that.

via somewhere on Pinterest

• Sam fed it some of his Rice Chex the other day though, so maybe that will help bring it back. Fingers crossed.
• As soon as naptime is over (I know, I'm dreading it too), we are going to make a fantastical trip up to post to get some booze. (Re: last night- I'm out of angry wine) I might also get crazy and run into Starbucks for something caffeinated because Steve is going to try and stay up til midnight so he can sign out for leave at 12:01am. I honestly can't remember the last time I voluntarily stayed up to see that hour, so it's going to be difficult. Thank God someone needs to drink the cheap wine and stay home with the sleeping children. 
• Well, with the clock ticking ever closer to my in-laws' arrival, I should probably vacate my little indented spot on the couch and wash some clothes and pick up toys and take a couple (thousand) clorox wipes to the bathrooms.
• I'll leave you with a picture of Molly, rocking her favorite pair of sunglasses and giving me her best "I don't give a damn" walk. The sass with this one. Oy. Pray for me.