My sweet Sam

Sam and I had a few quiet minutes together the other day while Molly was at a friend's house, so I googled some fun questions to ask him. I like hearing his answers on the fly, without anyone else chiming in.

1. What is something I always say to you?
Pick up your room.
I say it, but no one seems to hear it.

2. What makes me happy?
Helping you
He has such a sweet HEART!

3. What makes me sad?
That we don't listen
Amen

4. How do I make you laugh?
Saying jokes
Hilarious, because it appears they never catch on to my sarcasm.

5. What was I like as a child?
A sister. Because you're a girl. And girls are sisters.
I love how his mind works. This makes sense!

6. How old am I?
31
Dammit that is one thing he knows- everyone's ages.

7. How tall am I?
very tall
Tell that to the BMI chart please.

8. What is my favorite thing to do?
taking us to happy places
I do enjoy that.

9. What do I do when you're not around?
Work- dishes, laundry, mop the floor, feed the babies
Hahahahahahaha (sadly true)

10. What am I really good at?
cleaning the dishes
Your father would disagree!!

11. What is something I'm not good at?
folding the clothes
Your father would wholeheartedly agree!!

12. What do I do for a job?
You do everything. 
PREACH.

13. What is my favorite food?
pizza
It's the way to my heart.

14. What do you enjoy doing with me?
helping you
And with a happy heart, he always does.


Sam has always been so tenderhearted and kind, so much so that when he gets an attitude or throws a fit, I almost wonder if he's sick. Who is this child? I expect this kind of behavior from your sister, but not from you.... I mean.... uh... Why don't you go sit by yourself til you can change your attitude. Yeah, that sounds like something a good parent would say. So let's do that.

Love being this boy's mama.

A weekly rundown

First of all, I have to ask you, does a cuter Kardashian exist? I think not.

Some might wonder if those are real or not, but those cheeks are 100% all natural. #blessed

This week has been slam-full. Not a single day where we didn't have something going on, and luckily, that has made it pass by fairly quickly. Of course, that is exactly what I wish for, while also wishing for time to stop. Because hormones.

I haven't lugged out the double BOB in quite a while. I've been waiting for Hank to be a little less floppy-necked to use it and he is finally there. So instead of unloading the other double from the back of the car, I rolled the BOB out to the playground up the street. As I was pushing it though, I looked down and felt my heart fly up into my throat. I saw two sets of legs- one set of little tree trunks with tiny shoes on, and the other set barefoot with chunky thighs catching some sun. I had a mini panic attack because this wasn't Sam and Molly. And that's who those little legs and chunky thighs have always belonged to in this stroller. My mama heart cannot fathom that those little legs and tiny shoes are now sitting at a desk in first grade with youth sized shoes on, while the bare feet and chunky thighs have been replaced with size 13 shoes and slim thighs that make her run really really fast. How has time slipped away so quickly? Is this park trip right now going to soon be a blur in my mind too, as I wish for this deployment to hurry up and end? I'm trying so hard not to wish the time away, while also dying a slow death via parental exhaustion.

On Monday evening we had the usual soccer practice and mad rush to get everyone home and bathed and in bed afterwards. I pack Will and Molly a picnic dinner, and make Sam's dinner and set it in the fridge so he can eat when he gets home. While he eats, I bathe Hank, make a bottle, and then take the other three upstairs. I have Molly play with Will while I swaddle and feed Hank and then put him to bed. By then Sam is usually upstairs so he and Molly play while I bathe and get Will into his pajamas. I put Will to bed and then bathe Molly. I try to tidy up upstairs while Sam showers himself and Molly gets into her pajamas. Then we all say prayers and I tuck the big two in. Once that's over with I can run downstairs and start chores and eat dinner and start thinking about going to bed. Ha! My favorite part of the day.

On Tuesday, I picked the kids up from school and took Molly to dance. The boys and I ran a few errands around town while she was there. Since her dance class lets out at dinnertime, we rush home to do dinner, baths, and bed. Lather, rinse, repeat the above.

On Wednesday morning, I had a friend come over for a playdate. The last time she came over, I knocked an entire bottle of soju off the top of the fridge right before she arrived. Of course it shattered into a million tiny green pieces that smelled like fingernail polish remover. So preparing for her to come over was much less stressful this past week. Just a light vacuuming and picking up toys. Way less intense than the shop vac and trying to convince her that I didn't have a major drinking problem at 9am. Wednesday night was AWANA and they did wacky hair and outfit night. The picture stinks but you get the gist of it. Sam went all out wearing Will's clothes and then putting some of his own underwear on top of his head.

I normally make a midweek commissary run while the big two are at AWANA, but I didn't need anything (say what?) so I took the two little guys home, gave them baths, and then loaded their pajama'd selves back into the car and dropped off recycling before picking the big kids up. AWANA doesn't end until 7:30 so that really stresses me out because Hank is normally passed out by 7 with Will and the other two not far behind. As soon as we got home I chucked Will into bed and put Hank to sleep (TOOK FOREVER) before finally bathing Sam and Molly. I was slightly stressed out (ha) and might have frantic-texted Casey too much. (Sorry, Casey!!!! YOU DA BEST.)

On Thursday morning, I dropped the kids off at school and then prepped lunches for Will and myself since we were going to be out til noon. My friend from Korea is leading a Bible study in a town about a half hour from us and I told her I'd do the study with her. Will went to childcare (tears) and I took Hank with me. The study went well and it was very obvious when I picked Will up that he had the time of his life. I've never seen him so excited to show me things, but he led me around the playroom like he's been going there for years. He even did some handprint art, which is the way to my heart. Art from my kids, with their tiny little hands, that I did not have to assist in making. Melting. I got the boys home (fed Will in the car on the way) and changed diapers before putting them down for naps. Before I'd even sat down, it was time to go to the bus stop to get Sam and Molly. After snacks and homework, we headed out to the soccer field for a weeknight game! How exciting! For once we had the chance to watch a game that didn't involve sweating through our eyeballs! It. Felt. AMAZING. The game flew by and Will only tried to fling himself into the on-field action once. Maybe twice. I'll be honest. It's hard to try and film plays for Steve while I'm screaming like a nut and trying to keep an eye on Will and Molly. Hank- forgot about him. Not sure if I was holding him or if he was in the stroller but he made it out alive too. Anyways, all that to say that I did rewatch one of my videos to Steve and noticed Will just toddling around staring at other parents. Also! Sam's team won! They lost their first two games so they were extra pumped over this win.

It probably goes without saying that that was a late night. Everyone and their brother needed a shower after that game. See above for labor intensive shower schedule.

Friday morning came incredibly quickly and after getting the big kids off to school, we came home just long enough to make and eat breakfast before hightailing it back to Sam's school for their 6 week assembly. Recognizing the kids for academics, perfect attendance, conduct, etc. We hauled ASS over there and I slapped some mascara on in the parking lot before busting out the stroller and taking the boys in. They started early and we ended up watching from the wall. Then, as quickly as it started, it was over and the kids were whisked back to class! I gave Sam a hug as he walked back to class and then asked a friend if she could get a picture of me with the other two.

Will was not having it. First thing in the morning, he needs to be outside and running around. So we skipped a Starbucks date with friends and headed to the playground instead. It actually did not feel like the surface of the sun, so we all had a great time before heading home for lunch, naps, etc. Molly rode the bus home to a friend's house, so we got our Sam and headed out for haircuts- just me and my boys. Will has been waking up with some WHACK bedhead, so he was due for a trim. Little old lady took off more than I'd bargained for, but whatever. Maybe we won't have to go back so soon. I can't say I enjoy having him sit on me screaming as I am sprinkled with every tiny hair from his head. Then Sam got his hair cut and wanted a lightening bolt. I knew the barbers at this shop are somewhat elderly, so I prepared him for the fact that it might not happen, don't be disappointed, etc. But then the lady said she'd give it a shot! HAHA I thought ahhh what could go wrong here. What could go wrong was for her to ask me to draw a lightening bolt for her. Which she did. And so I drew one. Terribly. Then she did it.

Or attempted to do it. Whatever. That will grow out soon enough.

She asked him what he thought of it and I cringed, waiting for his ultra honest answer. But luckily he couldn't see it very well with a mirror. So I told her thank you and he'd see it later. Let's get OUTTA HERE. I showed him a picture in the car and he said, "Well it wasn't what I had in mind." But he said he got it because his team's name is Lightening and surely they'll win the game with his lightening bolt hair!

After haircuts, we headed to a froyo shop with friends. They both got honor roll and good conduct so we thought, ah let's reward the little crazies. Will was already on a sugar rush from his barber shop sucker, so he was extra pumped up for some froyo with toppings selected by two first graders... We left there in a sticky haze and headed to go pick up Molly from her friend's house. Tears because why can't she live there. Friday is our pizza night (haha because I'm lazy and frozen pizza is $3), so forget the fact that the boys have now had sugar galore, they are also having pizza for dinner. Bathed them before dinner because of the sticky/hair situation, made pizza, and let them eat before chucking them all swiftly in bed.

Hank let me sleep in til 5:40 this morning, which I am eternally grateful for, while also extremely depressed about because 5:40 should never, on this earth, be considered sleeping in. But 'round these parts it is. So. We hung out til everyone else woke up at 6 and then we started getting ready for Sam's game. We had to get there an hour early today for team pictures. We essentially pack like we're spending a day at the beach. Giant sportsbrella (because gingers), stroller, chairs, snacks, wipes, water bottles, diaper bag, bottles, formula, etc. Good thing these games last for an hour because I'm not sure I could justify the lugging of that much shit down a gravelly non-paved road by myself for a 30 minute game like the little kids play. Sam's lightening bolt haircut worked some luck and they won again! Will was not at all interested in sitting under the umbrella and ate all of his snacks before the game even started so that was a bust. Luckily there was a shaded playground nearby and I basically just jerked my head back and forth between watching Will and Molly play and Sam's game. Hank slept for some of the game, praise the lord, and then he had to listen to me screaming in his ear for the rest of the game. They did so well! And it's surprisingly entertaining! I'd love to focus 100% on the game but I'm clinging to the promise that one day I will.

This lasted about ten whole minutes before they headed for the playground behind us.

Another game where we didn't drown in a puddle of sweat!! WINNING

After lugging everyone/everything back to the car and the house, we made a quick lunch and then attempted naptime/quiet time. That ended FAR too soon for my liking and we were looking for something to do to burn energy during the long afternoon hours. I randomly heard that our town has an art park?? News to me. So we drove to town and checked it out.

Not terribly large or impressive, but it was nice out and it was fun seeing a new side of town we had not explored before. We also saw some red leaves and everyone got REALLY excited about fall. Despite the fact that it was 87* out and we were all sweating. Ha!

The kids had so much fun swinging on the two dinky swings at the art park that we went straight home to go swing on more swings.

We had some friends meet us there to play until the meltdowns didn't stop and we all headed home. Baths, dinner, teeth, BED. I've got the kitchen clean and coffeepot prepped. We'll see if I'm up to the aerobic workout known as "mass" tomorrow morning. Will is high energy at 9am.... Pray for me.

Hold onto your hats...

...we've got another deployment to tackle.

We all feel like Will.

I honestly thought I'd be back a lot sooner to blog about something a lot better than this. We have been so busy! School has started, soccer and dance are getting underway, we have been slowly but surely exploring the area, Hank is turning into more of a baby and less of a blob, Steve and I have been going on actual DATES (without any children!!!), and we were planning all the fun things we'd do while Steve was on Rear D. Until he wasn't anymore.

Some IDIOT that was going on the deployment got a DUI. Steve was apparently the next guy in line to go, so he was put in as his replacement. We had about two weeks notice. Which initially stung. I was scrambling to prepare- things to send with Steve, things to lessen the blow for the kids (deployment wall, daddy dolls, etc), record all the things, take photos, explain why all of this is happening so fast. As the two weeks went by though, the quick timing slowly felt like more of a blessing than a curse. I loathe (L-O-A-T-H-E) the pre-deployment phase. It drags on and on and with each passing day, I'm reminded of all the things Steve will miss (and oh my word he will be missing a lot), all the things he does to help me each day, and how I will have to somehow manage it all on my own. Having him gone so quickly sort of helps get that countdown going, which ultimately reunites us and makes our family whole again.

Steve has handled it all like a champ. I wish I could say I'd be the same if I were in his shoes, but I definitely would not. I'd be a blubbering mess. Instead of wailing and sobbing all day like I might do if I was headed to a place without toilets, he has cleaned and reorganized the garage, taken care of every last household chore that he knows I'll never get to while he's gone (scrubbing mildew off the closet ceiling? Check! Take down the loaded (ew) fly bag? Check! Hang the last few (please let them be the last few) pictures on the wall? Check!), tried to do meaningful things with each child, drawn out a spreadsheet for me so that I actually remember to pay the bills on time each month (that is not my realm), and all the other little everyday things that he always does for me and the kids.

Smiling, but dying a bit inside

Aside from missing his constant help here at home, I am really just going to miss my best friend. At the end of the day when the kids are absolute PSYCHOS, I miss looking across the dining room table and giving him that look- you know the one- the look that says, I'm not sure why we created this army of little people that are suddenly turning on us but shall I get us both another glass of beer/wine/bleach?? I miss knowing that if I'm too exhausted to open my eyes one more time for the baby at night, I've got a backup that will hold him for me. I miss having someone around who knows all of our inside jokes. I miss just kicking my leg out in bed and feeling him there, completely safe and right next to me.

I'd so appreciate any and all prayers you can send our way. Prayers for Steve's safety, for Sam and Molly to understand his absence and thrive in spite of it, for Will, who doesn't understand why his favorite person is no longer here to give him a banana each morning and smother him in kisses, and for Hank, who thankfully will not remember any of this, but will also not get nearly the amount of attention he deserves, even as the fourth baby. And lastly, please pray for me. I feel so ill-equipped to be both mom and dad for my kids. I look at these nine months ahead and see mountains of work. And all I really want to see are opportunities to make memories with my kids, and set a worthy example for them.

((My friend Rachel was so sweet to take all of these photos for us last-minute (and I do mean last-minute: I texted her in my pajamas about an hour and a half before we met up to do them), and they really do perfectly capture what life is like right now. I can never thank her enough for making this photo session happen. She did such a great job and they mean the world to me.))

Hank's birth story

Well, I was unsuccessful at keeping him in for an entire two weeks, but I think two days shy of my goal wasn't too shabby. Henry James (Hank) made his grand entrance July 2, 2017, at 5:54 in the morning. Labor started around 10pm the night before, and once again my children are disobeying me before they even exit the womb. I specifically requested that he come on July 1 (because 7-1-17 is a cool birth date) and for labor to start in the morning and for him to be born by lunch so we could start this whole thing off with minimal sleep deprivation (and lunch!). But labor started at the END of the day and lasted all night and we started off with maximum sleep deprivation. Maybe we'll have more luck with the next one.

I KID, I KID.

I never could go to sleep, so Steve went to bed and I bounced around and said Hail Mary's and timed contractions and thought nothing was really happening.

Is it me, or are these charts supposed to do some sort of gradual increase or decrease? I've got the Smoky Mountains look goin on here.

Not helpful

My main goal for this delivery (and the entirety of my "birth plan") was to get an epidural as early as possible. So after about two and a half hours of this random contraction timing, I woke Steve up and told him it was time to go. Then I instantly felt stupid because what if we get there and they send me home? Oh well, we were gonna be safe and maybe sorry. We told my mom we were leaving and drove the two miles to the hospital. Once we were there, we approached the nurses station. "Can we help you?" Um, excuse me, yes, I, uh, I'm in labor?

Yes, killing them with confidence in my active labor phase for sure.

So they took me into a triage room to assess me and check for dilation. Asked me if this was my first. Crap. Surely that means I'm going home. But....

SEVEN!

Seven centimeters! Yeehaw! And also, PLZ GOD TELL ME THERE'S STILL TIME FOR AN EPIDURAL. The anesthesiologist is not a 24/7 kind of dude here at the hospital, so my main concern was him not being around, not answering his phone, not making it in time to administer those life-saving drugs to my spine... But luckily for me, someone else took that fall and I was #3 for deliveries that night, so he was already there and ready to rock and roll.

He finally gave me the juice and then the nurses were kinda like, well you need to get two bags of penicillin in, so peace out, we'll see you in a few hours. So it took me maybe 3 hours to go from nothing to 7cm and then another 5 hours to be "complete." Fine by me- we took a nap (sort of) and waited for everyone to deem me ready. (It's hard to sleep when you know you are actively warping your baby's head into a cone via entering the birth canal. Yes, call me vain but I was worried he'd have cone head from sitting in there for so long waiting on this penicillin to get in!)

Finally it was time to push. That awkward phase where literally everyone is staring into my hooha like a crystal ball and I'm trying not to poop myself. Hank emerged easily (thanks, epidural!) and with the cord wrapped around his neck twice! No worries, he was fine, the nurse even commented that we could jump rope with his umbilical cord (nice mental image, right?) and it wasn't tight at all. He was wide eyed and quiet, taking in every little thing around him. Almost scary quiet. He let out a few cries to signal that he can breathe and speak and whatnot and then just laid there and stared at me. SUCH a sweetie. I counted his fingers and toes quickly, then realized that I literally had about eight ultrasounds where they did that exact thing every time. No matter though, it was a relief to count them in person. He nursed like a champ and for about two and a half hours nonstop. He got his little bath and measurements done before coming back to nurse again.

Thanks to my lady bits' "veteran" status, I had no tears or issues, and once the epidural wore off, I honestly did not feel like I had just given birth. God bless modern medicine.

He looks SO much like baby Sam to me. And one nurse even commented that he has a csection head which I take is code for NOT CONE HEAD so that's a relief.

This was my first time delivering at a military hospital, and it was nice and easy. Definitely no frills. I can't see paying top dollar to go to a special birthing center, when you can be ignored and keep your baby in room with you for free at the Army hospital. Heh. I kid, but in all seriousness, the nurses were great, the doctors did their job, but there was no nursery. Aka no break. The nurses asked us if we'd like to accompany Hank while they did his discharge evaluation. To which we both responded no. This will be our last kid-free break for the forseeable future, we can stand to spend the next 20 minutes apart, thanks.

Back at home, the three amigos were (not so) patiently waiting for their fourth.

They were all so enamored with Hank.

I was honestly expecting Molly to be the one most obsessed with Hank, and while she certainly is wanting to hold him/feed him/mother him constantly, the other two are right on her heels.

reading Hank books

In fact, Will is almost aggressively obsessed with Hank. If he is lying on the floor, Will slaps a two foot radius around him and does whatever he can to make sure he is the only one maintaining eye contact with Hank. He wants eyes on him at all times. Kinda like a mama bear. He leans in for hugs and kisses when he cries and has learned very quickly how to gently pat his head. He enjoys plucking the pacifier from his mouth and tasting it (Will never used a pacifier, but I guess has a newfound interest in them), and observing every diaper change, all the while acting like I am torturing Hank if I let the crying go on longer than ten seconds. It is an unexpected sweet side of Will that I hadn't really seen before. He is going full throttle towards the terrible two's (it starts for my kids at 18 months *shudder*) so it's nice to see him have such a sweet and gentle attitude towards his baby brother.

Sam, of course, is once again rocking the biggest brother role. He holds Hank like an old pro and helps whenever I need him to. He also told me he loves my tiny belly (which LOL); he is obviously the reining favorite child at the moment dishing out compliments like that.

Steve has, once again, been the best. He has handled everything. Literally everything. He takes dirty dishes out of my hands and tells me to go put my feet up. He wakes up for every night feeding so I can pump. He takes Sam fishing, he takes Molly on errands with him (counterproductive for him, always), and he chases Will around the circle. He also has taken it upon himself to do all the laundry and continues bathing all these children every night (THE MOST thankless job in this house). He has come up with dinners on nights when I haven't given it a second thought. He still goes to the gym daily (how, and with what energy, I do not know). And he even tells me I'm pretty when I'm hooked up to a pump at 2am with my saggy empty belly and stretch marks and boobs going like a dairy cow. He's exactly everything a good husband should be, and then some. And I have no clue how I was so lucky to not only snag him, but now four of his beautiful babies.

Steve thinks this is the last birth story this old blog will see. Sam seems to think otherwise. I guess only time will tell. I'm just thankful for another easy birth, healthy baby, and happy family.

Day in the life, thrift store finds, bumpdate

Even though I blogged about barf 5 days ago, it feels like I haven't updated since the 16th, so let's get on that.

We visited the local "everything" store (Menards) and Molly fell in love with this recliner. I mean, despite being The Biggest Eyesore I've ever seen, it was incredibly soft and comfortable. I can see why people have these in their homes. I'm sure Steve would appreciate one in his man cave. I'm sure he would also appreciate a man cave. But until we get to the point where we're not side-eyeing the closet above our closet as Sam's future bed, I don't think a man cave is going to happen.

She settled for a new horsey calendar and has it proudly hung at the end of her bed. She is super knowledgeable about what year it is, in case, like me, you still have no clue and think 2015 was last year.

Obviously it was not a school day for Molly and she helped with my various things around the house before and after the big Menards trip. One of the things we did was to clean out the kids' dresser (ooh yes, they all share one, re: tiny house) and sort the clothes that are for summer and are too small/too big. Molly found this (too big) maxi dress and despite there being a few inches of snow on the ground, decided it needed to be worn right that minute. And what goes better with a pretty summer dress than some fresh nails? Glitter of course, because it's fun to watch mama twitch.

The next morning I opened up instagram to see a friend who posted a "challenge" to stop, drop, and take a picture on :44 of every hour. Since it was 6:43, I thought, what the hey! I snapped a photo and immediately set 18 alarms on my phone. Had I not done that, I probably would have failed by hour 2.

6:44am

That thing about the days being long and the years being short? Is totally true. Big emphasis on the long days part. By the time I actually get to drink some coffee, I usually feel like I've put in a full work day. When is naptime? For me? Oh wait never. Because long days and all. Luckily they are all in decent moods first thing in the morning and seem excited to play together. That buys me some time to sit.

7:44am

I really thought my laundry load would decrease after we moved into a house with a full size washer and dryer. But it kinda feels like it's stayed the same. Maybe I do one load less per day. That's nice. I still do one to two loads a day- three if it's a diaper day. Not sure I will ever take for granted having a washer/dryer IN my own house (and on the main level to boot!). I just can't fathom having puking/diarrhea kids and having to haul that to a laundromat.

8:44am

We were headed to Fargo on this day to do some shopping, but Lord knows I can't leave my house with a messy floor. Will really likes the vacuum. Specifically, sitting right in front of it and having the air blow in his face.

9:44am

We had to stop to pick up some books off the floor for Molly - coincided nicely with my timer going off. Lots of snowmobile tracks all around - for some reason when I see one I call it a snowski. I like for people to know that I'm not from around here and will never fit in. Maybe one day my brain and mouth can get on the same page. (Maybe)

Made it to the motherland

10:44am

Browsing. Will got himself some disposable sippy cups to test the waters. (He's a huge fan!)

11:44am

Stopped for lunch at Arby's and Will was not thrilled about the pausing of lunch for a photo. He was thrilled about curly fries though.

12:44pm

Will taking the dreaded car nap while we pass through a few small towns before getting back to our own. Our town only has about 800 people in it, but the towns around us have less than that.

1:44pm

Molly trying on her clearance finds from Target. Could NOT pass up these little duck boots for $7! Also, I miss seeing her little legs! They've been covered up for way too long!

2:44pm

It was incredibly warm that day, something like 43*, and everything was melting RAPIDLY. But I knew it would freeze again that night, creating a nice sheet of ice for me to bust my ass on the next morning. So we got out there and scraped the steps, played in the snow, checked the mail, etc.

3:44pm

Got our Sam at the bus stop! We pick him up at 3:25 (I mean, when the temperature is above freezing. If it's freezing or below, Mike is always at least 10-15 minutes late dropping him off, ensuring I am about as cool as a popsicle), but that day, we played in the alley behind our house with our neighbors, the boys having a contest to see who could throw snow hunks the farthest in the street.

4:44pm

We ended up hanging with the neighbors at their house for a while before heading home for dinner. My main hustle times during the day are 5-7.  Morning AND evening. It is constant go-go-go for those four hours. Which is awful because those are the hours I'd really love to just lay down and take a nap. Ha!

5:44pm

The little people clearly weren't going to be holding out for daddy, so I cooked them their dinner first. We typically eat around 5:30 and then go straight into the bedtime routine. I didn't feel like fighting a dinner war with anyone by myself, so chicken nuggets and salad won out.

6:44pm

Bath time! We normally do showers, but baths tend to occupy everyone longer. I like to keep the good moods going as long as I can when I'm parenting solo, so I let them take a bath together.

Gosh isn't he CUTE?!

7:44pm

Adult dinner time! Steve got home while the kids were in the tub. He finished them up and brushed teeth while I cleaned up first dinner and put second dinner in the oven. Also, I cannot photograph food to save my life. This salmon was amazing but looks somewhat disgusting here.

8:44pm

We tend to run out of hot water right after the kids get showered, so we wait a while (and have uninterrupted (usually) adult conversation!) before we shower so the hot water tank can refill itself. Steve is very nice and always lets me go first so I never end up with a cold shower. Isn't he sweet?

9:44pm

I'm not sure Steve would watch House Hunters if I didn't suggest it, but then again, I don't think I would watch House Hunters without Steve. We love to snark on the homebuyers. And that's our main entertainment from this show. We hit the hay after one episode usually because staying up past 10 is for the birds!

And that was essentially a day in the life. I love seeing "day in the life" through other people's eyes (because I'm nosy), so I hope mine didn't put anyone to sleep.

The next day was a Friday, and we took some frozen pizzas over to Rick and Monica's house for dinner. I also made cream cheese brownies. The recipe sounded fabulous and I had made some brownies a few days before for my neighbor's birthday, so we were all in the mood for some. Well the middle didn't seem to be cooking as quickly as the outside, and I didn't want it to get too crispy in some spots while raw in others, so I covered it.

Prior to the tin foil, it had a pretty, almost marbled look to it. Afterwards, well. You see. #fail Still delicious though, so that was all that mattered.

And Monica and I finally got our ussie. We joke about taking them all the time but neither one of us is ever dressed or showered or without paint in our hair, so we kept putting it off. Finally we coordinated our shower schedules and managed to look halfway decent! Only for my shaky selfie hand to kinda blur us a bit. Ah well. We'll have to try again during the next full moon.

I can't remember which day this was from, but I never ever get tired of staring at Will in the tub. He's so focused on whatever he's playing with and just so sweet and happy. It's so hard to imagine loving a child as much as you love your first because you just can't fathom being able to have such big feelings for someone else like you do for them. And then you have more and the love just keeps on multiplying. That sounds so cheesy, but it's so true. My heart could just bust thinking about how much I love these kids.

Now, I do have a washroom makeover to show soon (we are finishing it up today - hopefully), but for now I have a little bit of a quicker before and after to show ya. The Korea stick ended up in the living room in this house, whereas in NY it was above our bed (we don't have a headboard). So there was nothing above our bed and I couldn't figure out what to put up there, but it looked REALLY naked without anything. So I finger-sketched this out and sent it to Casey. "What do you think of this? A shelf with pictures leaning against the wall on top? Crazy? Normal? Just the right mix of both?" So I figured I'd eventually have to find some way to make a shelf, or find the right one in a thrift stop.

I know what you're thinking, and yes, that CPAP is sexy, and also yes, I should have been an art major.

Lo and behold, Steve had an appointment at the VA in Fargo the next day, so Molly, Will, and I tagged along. We dropped him off at his appointment and headed in the general direction of Target. But on the way, I saw a thrift shop!! Swung a quick U and we went inside. Hanging above one of the doorways was THE PERFECT SHELF. I asked the gal if it was for sale and if so, how much, and she said it wasn't. "But people are always asking about it! I'm not sure why we don't just sell it! Seems silly not to! I can always ask my boss if she'd be ok with selling it. But she's in a meeting right now." I was feeling a little bold after talking with her for a few minutes and asked if I could leave my name and number, and if the boss was cool with selling it, I'd be so so happy to come back and buy it. I told her how I have the perfect spot for it and kinda gushed about how perfect it was. We left the store and I figured it was a bust, but maybe the next time we come to town, I'd go in and ask again. Well. Ten minutes later and I got a call from the boss saying I could come get it. (!!!) And then I had Steve hang it up about ten minutes after we got home because I WAS ON A HIGH. A thrift store high. If you've never felt one, you're really missing out. It's a cheap high too. Ha!

It's part of an old piano!

And New York? We just came from New York! This feels so meant to be!

Check out that ledge- perfect for propping up some canvases, right?? I have my one (overused, admittedly) homecoming photo on a 16x20 canvas that I need to dig out of the basement, and then I'd like to print one of our wedding photos out and put that up there as well. Then it will be finished! Whatcha think?

This is apparently my face now

Took Willie to his appointment in town the other day. He was only a month behind getting his one year shots. Poor baby. He barely even flinched on the first shot, but shots 2 through 4 hurt considerably more. I wanted to cry too! He went from laughing and giggling at me to being stabbed four times. I am usually very pro-vaccine, except in those two minutes when I have to watch my sweet baby cry real tears, and then I am ready to take down whoever invented these horrible torture devices!

You probably remember me talking about how the grocery store here is pretty limited, so if you don't get what you need "in town" you probably will have to do without. Well I opened up the fridge one night and realized that (once again) I forgot to thaw something out for dinner. Luckily I had some organic sausage (which sounds like a complete oxymoron) in the bottom drawer, so dinner was saved. I made up a recipe for garlic cheese sauce, and while I expected it to be a little weird, it was actually amazing. Essentially, I melted half a stick of butter (mmmmm, butter) and then sauteed some minced garlic in it. After that I added about 4oz of sour cream (I had leftovers from an 8oz container from taco night earlier that week) and a few big handfuls of shredded mozzarella cheese. Looked normal, so I added some milk and stirred and stirred, added some garlic salt and a little more milk, and then added in the sausage, cooked pasta, and broccoli. It turned out amazing! Especially for just winging it. Worst case scenario, we chuck the mess and have sandwiches for dinner. Best case scenario, I now have a yummy garlic cheese sauce in my back pocket. (And all over my hips because that wasn't exactly healthy)

Doctor Molly is in. Checking the pulse of my feet. She didn't hear anything.

I told her she was doing it wrong and needed to first massage the feet in order to get the bloodflow going and thus, be able to hear the heartbeat. It'll be sad when the kids wise up.

Related to the piano shelf, we also found the best mug ever for Molly.

She seriously never stops talking. Sometimes it's funny but sometimes (most times) it's maddening. Her latest favorite question is asking where we are. "What state we in? What town we in?" Since we live so close to North Dakota, the state question is legit (and I feel like when we lived in NY, we were constantly going between NY, NJ, and PA) but it doesn't make it any less annoying. Worse is trying to figure out which town we're in because who the hell knows half the time. It's easier if she asks as we're passing a water tower because the name is usually on it, but sometimes we are just driving through corn fields (snow fields) and she wants to know where we are. Not knowing is not an answer either. She knows you have GPS and you darn well better use it to answer her question. What happened to the good ol days when kids were just seen and not heard? I wasn't even around for them and I miss them.

Also, hey. I'm still pregnant. Which I have quite a bit of trouble believing 96% of the time. Surely this is all a joke and that extra birthday cake will melt off soon, right? RIGHT?! Who authorized this?
Approaching the halfway point and I wonder when I will snap out of my denial. TL;DR bumpdate:  complete denial, believes it's cake, almost halfway there, refuses to wear maternity clothes because that makes it real, denial, eats cake to pretend this is all cake belly and fuel denial.