Wordless Wednesday: The It-doesn't-get-dark-until-9:30-so-we-party-outside-like-it's-1999 Edition

Pretty please?

That day we accidentally ran a 10k

A while back, Steve and I signed up for the annual Wilma Rudolph 5k. There was also a 10k. And at one point in time (probably when the weather was 10 degrees cooler), I considered signing up for that. But then I just decided that there was no way I was motivated enough to train for that, so the 5k it was.

I hadn't been running in over two weeks. The weather got hot, we had errands to do, naptimes didn't line up, blah blah blah, insert every excuse here. But I remember thinking the night before, "At least it's only a 5k! I can plow through that fairly easy. It might not be pretty and our time might not be great, but I can definitely get through it." (FORESHADOWING)

The next morning, we got the kids up at the ass crack of dawn and left the house by 5:56. We picked up our packets and started stretching people-watching. I might sign up for more races just for the opportunity to people-watch. Because it was incredible.

After watching folks mill around and do their pre-race thing in neon spandex, we wandered over to the start line and headed towards the back, where our giant double stroller and slow pace (me) wouldn't get in anyone's way (ie, all the pros in neon spandex). We could hear the lady on the very muffled microphone saying something. People were talking and we were pretty far away, but we assumed it was something like "follow the signs and don't get hit by a car." So they blew the horn and off we go. We were passing folks left and right. Neon spandex folks. We were feeling pretty confident. This was fun! (minus the hills) I wonder why they're all starting so slow. It's only 3 miles!

The first mile came and went pretty quickly. We had an 8:32 pace on our first mile and knew that we could average a nine minute mile for the last two. Then the fact that I haven't jogged anywhere in two weeks got all up in my business and I was all, "WHOA lungs!" So that was uncomfortable. That, and drinking wine the night before might not have been the greatest idea either. Between mile two and three, I told Steve that I was so glad we only signed up for the 5k.

We approached a water stand and thought that was ridiculous. Pass. It's only three miles! And it's not even that hot yet. A nice gesture, but come on. Weak sauce.

We finally came upon the three mile marker sign. Woohoo! Only 0.1 miles to go! Except.... hmmm... I can't really see the finish line anywhere, can you? Are we even close to the church where we started? I didn't think 0.1 mile was this long. Am I really so out of shape that the last 0.1 mile is gonna do me in? Why is there another water stand? Do you think people in Clarksville think 5 kilometers and 5 MILES are the same thing? Surely a running club knows the difference. Let's jokingly ask this semi-elderly lady who's tearing this road up like a beast if we are somehow running a 10k.

"Haha! You thought this was the 5k? That doesn't start until 8:30! But hey, you're almost to the 4-mile marker now, so you're over halfway done! Bye!"

Good Lord y'all. No one told us the 5k didn't start until 8:30. The website I registered on only said the race started at 7. The people I picked up my packet from didn't tell me anything. The microphone lady was muffled and God only knows what she said. So hey, let's run a 10k?

Steve was so awesome about it all. He can obviously run a 10k very easily and was doing his best to encourage hasn't-run-in-two-weeks me. He said things like, "Honey, I'm so proud of you for plowing through and finishing a 10k!" Yeah ok thanks, I'm gonna walk now.

So we walked for a bit. Off and on. We finally took those water station people up on their offers. We joked about how we were running the wrong race. We almost stopped at a yard sale. We were passed by a very fast-moving and very PREGNANT lady. Also, lots of really old people. We laughed every time, knowing that yes, this is embarrassing, but also, no, we don't care. We had a lot of fun. We didn't finish last, and we consider that some sort of accomplishment.

Thanks to all of our leisurely walking (it's not like our timing chips were even activated on that race), our average pace was about 12 minutes/mile. We crossed the finish line really strong (yay downhill!) and had a lot of folks cheering for us. We even got a "War Eagle" (thanks to Steve's shirt).

The lady who originally informed us we were running a 10k was still at the finish line cooling down and she congratulated us on finishing. We stood around drinking some water for a minute and then watched the 5k folks line up and get ready to run. Some people were doing both races. We just laughed and went back to the car. We had donuts to get.

Priorities. We have them.

Also, showers. We need them.

****

Thank y'all so much for the votes!! I really appreciate it and am quite flattered. You can vote once a day til July 4th- only two clicks! Remember, chocolate has no calories immediately after voting for me, so that should be incentive enough, right? xo

That time we went on a double date and everyone's souvenir was a horrific sunburn to the legs

Last week, we celebrated the Army's birthday by leaving post and our children and enjoying some friends that the Army has given us.

Let me back up and introduce our neighbor-friends first.

Vickie and Jimmy

I have mentioned Vickie here before as my neighbor who saved me many times during the deployment by way of catching my children as I hurled them over the fence at her.
She always has food to give my children.
She lets me vent to her about irrational things.
She keeps me informed of the latest neighborhood gossip.
She brings the best food to BBQs.
She pops out lawn chairs and hands my kids popsicles and lets us sit out in her driveway and play til bedtime.
She has three boys that play with Sam like he's their brother.
She has a husband that doesn't give me weird looks when he sees me leaving his house with a massive bowl of bacon potato salad. Or soup. Or bulgogi. He never once told me that maybe I should cook something for myself during this deployment. He just let Vickie feed me and my kids like we were bums at a soup kitchen.
To summarize, I LOVE THESE PEOPLE.

Moving on.

Sweet, saintly Sarah came over to babysit all five of our kids (yep, five, as in 5, as in 1-2-3-4-FIVE) so our neighbors could go kayaking with us at the Land Between The Lakes. Or as the cool locals call it, El Bee El. We had to hike down to the kayak/canoe station, and once we had gotten down the massive hill, Vickie and I realized we needed to use the bathroom and change shoes. (Priorities- we have them.) After burning a few extra calories hiking back up and then hiking down again and only seeing one baby frog that we thought was a snake, we were able to listen to the safety brief about kayaking.

After we learned the importance of never taking off our life jackets lest we drown in two feet of sludge, we were able to wade through the mud and get into the kayaks.

Ahh so attentive.

My enormous rear requires multiple people to assist me, lest I fall in the lake and scream like a girl who thinks lakes are gross. (They are.)

Once out in the water with no supervision, we had a really good time! Minus the whole forgetting-to-put-on-sunscreen situation. We quickly accepted the fact that we were going to roast. Some of us fought it, some of us embraced it.

You know you're a devoted redneck when you opt for a farmer's tan on your very white legs.

Ahhhhh serenity now...

We had previously joked that we would have a race. I was all, "Steve and I would totally win since we lift Molly multiple times a day, thus ensuring our superior upper body strength." And then Vickie found a spider the size of a chihuahua crawling towards her in her kayak and she paddled for shore like an Olympian. Except she only made it to a cement block about seven feet from shore and ditched her kayak there. After the rest of us attempted to chase down the runaway kayak for a bit, Jimmy finally got that monster out. It was MASSIVE. And also, no race. We would be murdered for sure.

After all of that fun, we decided to head back to shore and return our kayaks. We were all starting to get hungry for lunch and sufficiently burned. We paddled through a tough bunch of lily pads and got to where we thought we were supposed to return the kayaks. Only it wasn't. Because we paddled to the opposite side of the lake omg. At this point, it was very much a do-or-die-very-hungry situation, so the chit chat stopped completely and we got down to business paddling back through the lily pads.

I like to bring up the rear to make sure everyone is accounted for and didn't drop anything by mistake, like a wallet or a cell phone or a Snickers.

This photo pretty accurately depicts the trip. And I can't look at it without laughing hysterically.

Jimmy- Class V rapids qualified. Steve- No rush. Jenn- Can't paddle that closely to someone else. Also, holy hair. Vickie- What the hell are these people doing and why did I come here with them?

We had so much fun getting out of the house with ADULTS. The weird tan lines now were definitely worth it. Just a few more people that I wanna pack up and move to Korea with us. (And not just because Vickie is half-Korean either! Although, what a plus!)

Knock #21 off the list!

Also, please support your local farmer's tanned legs and vote for me today! (You can vote once daily! Only two clicks involved! Muchas gracias!)

Wanna vote for me? I'll send you chocolate and stuff.

Ok so I can't actually send you chocolate. But not because I don't have chocolate to share. Mostly because I'm too lazy to go to the post office. I owe packages to more than a few people now, and my lack of boxes has pretty much been a good enough excuse for me not to go at all. But if you wanna swing by my house after you vote for me once daily until July 4th, I will let you raid my secret stash and we can hide from the kids and talk about how Molly walked into the bathroom this morning with poop all over her hands and I was so busy attempting to use the bathroom multitasking taking pictures of Sam wearing my flip flops (so cute!) that I didn't notice until she started smearing it all over her pajamas. And now, looking back at the pictures I was taking of Sam, I think Molly might have sampled a little bit.

Excuse the craptastic quality of these photos.

Digging for gold...

Attempting to wipe it off

Giving in to temptation

I apologize, new readers, for this shameless post about votes, chocolate, and poop. (But for future reference: chocolate and poop are discussed here quite often.) The voting part is simple. Click the link, then click vote. No logging in or extra steps. And vote daily. Please. The girl in the number one spot has something insane like 300 votes. (Not expecting to beat that.) I'm not sure I have that much chocolate, but I know some of you might prefer some fruit or maybe a spoonful of peanut butter or bacon or corn chex. We'll see what I can come up with when you get here. Thanks in advance for not making me relive my SGA secretary loss from 5th grade.

We're like the Pilgrims. Except we're going to Asia this time.

So. A scary glimpse into my future happened yesterday. Steve went out to lunch recently with one of his buddies by the airfield. Amazing hotdogs! Great prices! The sweet tea was really good! I think we should go there!

Ok.

I pack up some snacks for the kids and off we go. We walk inside and...... it's a bar. Beer banners, neon lights, UFC fights on the tv- BAR. I look at Steve. "I don't think they have any highchairs in here." "I'll find one, you just get in line." I walk over to the line and I can feel the stares. The only people there are military men and scruffy maintenance dudes. This is clearly not a place where you bring your toddler-laden FAMILY to eat lunch. We ate our (unremarkable) hot dogs and headed home soon after, leaving a trail of crushed-up goldfish in our wake.

Steve- preparing for the inevitable slap from an overly-enthusiastic Miss America Molly.

What made Steve think that this would be a good place to bring our children? (Besides the hot dog part, shut up.) This man will be picking out our house for us in Korea. ALONE. I won't be there and I will have to rely on him to make the best decision for us. I want so badly to be one of those wives that will just roll with the punches and trust her husband completely. But I will be real and honest and confess that giving up the control here scares the bajeezus outta me. I don't want to live in a hot dog bar! Wah!

*******

A Korea update is in order, yes? I have found zero information on the interwebs about families moving to Korea with their soldier. And if I have, it's all very very outdated. The conflicting information we have received from every office on this post has led me to believe that maybe we are the first family to ever move to Korea from Fort Campbell. EVER.

Seriously, Mom?

Please feel free to confirm or deny.

We can confirm that Molly has dried banana on the side of her face, but that's about it.

We recently learned that we got command sponsorship. Basically this means that the Army has extended an invitation for us to live in Korea. We would show up regardless, but I much prefer for our presence to be desired, you know? Also, I want to be on the list (the evacuation list, that is) should Lil' Kim ever see what his barber did to his head and go nuts all over his neighbor to the south.

Can't buy hair like this, Kim. (Although I'd like to.)

Let me back up (in case someone is on here looking for helpful info about PCSing to Korea). We are on the accelerated version of normal Korea PCSing. We have a maximum of three months to get everything done, when the Army usually gives you six. I won't get into my feelings about this, but while most of our processes have happened back-to-back, it might take longer if you are doing a normal 6-month prep. Anyways. On with the show. Before we got CS (command sponsorship), Steve had to apply for a sponsor. (Use DA form 5434.) Naturally, we got a bogus sponsor, not even a guy from his gaining unit, but whatever. That box was checked and we could proceed. We all had to get physicals and an EFMP (Exceptional Family Member Program) screening. I had to do a CHADIS (no clue what that stands for) questionnaire online about my children's milestones and if they are progressing at an acceptable rate. After you have been cleared by all of the appropriate people, you will need to get no-fee government passports for the dependents. After you apply for the passports, you get some sort of number off of the application (hopefully the office people can help you here...) and you can submit your application for CS. I think it takes 14 business days to hear back from Korea on whether or not you've been approved.
Apparently some people get orders that say "concurrent travel" on them (meaning you are authorized to travel with your soldier). People around Ft Campbell made it sound like this was a common thing. We are learning now that it is not. Most likely you will get "deferred travel". So your soldier will go ahead of you and secure housing, his orders will get amended, and you will then be allowed to schedule your HHG (household goods) shipment and flights. I know, none of this is convenient. In fact, it's all incredibly frustrating. All of the unknowns and waiting is nerve-wracking. I wish I had something uplifting to say like, "It all went by so fast!" But it didn't. So I won't say that. Just try to spend your time researching your new home instead of worrying over things that are out of your control. (Soooooo much easier said than done!)

Initially, we were planning on having our HHG's packed and moved by mid-June. We would spend the rest of the summer traveling to see family and going on vacation. But vacation requires leave days. And Steve is now saving his leave days to come back and get us so that I don't have to make an international flight with two small children by myself. (The man loves me and my sanity.) So we are stuck here for the summer. Luckily, we have family that is willing to travel to us. Unfortunately for them, we still live in Clarksville and there isn't squat to do here. I'm sure that's nothing that some Dollar Tree bubbles and new sidewalk chalk can't fix though. I will reward all visitors with the alcoholic beverage of your choice! Open invitation! Schedule your visit today! (said in my best car dealer voice)

So, to summarize, the new-and-improved plan:

Steve will leave for Korea by himself.
I will sob and whine and throw a tantrum and eat cereal for dinner 8 nights out of 7 and drink wine when the cereal runs out.
Then Steve will find us a house. This is clearly not a decision I want to be a part of. Thanks Army. (I hate to blame an entire gender, but that was clearly a man's decision.)
He will get that stupid paper amended saying he has a house.
Then we will schedule movers.
Then we will arrange flights.
Then Steve will take leave and come home. (The Army will not pay for that since "I am capable" of flying international with two small children by myself. Hello more man-rules.) (PS. I am not capable. Deployment wrecked my sanity. Ain't nobody gonna survive that flight if I have to do it alone.)
He will help me pack up our house and wrangle the kids on the flight.
He will show us our new home for the next two years and I will pray and pray and beg and plead with God that it is not a hot dog bar.


PS. I got an email saying I was nominated for a Top 25 Military Mom thing. Wanna vote for me here? (As of right now, I'm still on the "pending approval" side.) Gamsahabnida! (Which is Korean for "thank you!" I'm sure I won't have any trouble with the language barrier over there....)

I bet no one ever guessed they'd see a picture taken with a real camera on this blog again.

Finally got my dSLR out again after many MANY months of gathering dust on the desk. Sometimes it's just easier to pull your phone out and snap a quick, crappy picture amiright?

But my cloth-diaper-making, professional-photograph-taking, super-creative friend Jackie asked me to take some pictures of Molly in the diapers she had given me. Despite Sam learning to say, "Oh sheet!" by the end of it all, I really am enjoying the end results.

Big brother needed to get in on the camera action. And I can't say no to a dude with a milk mustasche.

I know I have a lot of work to do when it comes to learning about my camera, but I'm really having fun taking more pictures of my family. (Aka prepare yourselves for more amateur hour and pictures of my family.)

********

Winner of the squeezy giveaway is....

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Congrats to Kate! I will send your info to the happy people at Happy Family and you will soon get some free food in your mailbox! Yeehaw! 

I think I'm getting soft

Let's do a crunchy inventory real quick, shall we?

1. Cloth diapers. Well, one out of two in cloth diapers. And not while we're moving. And mostly depending on what the washer/dryer situation in Korea is like. So maybe this is more stale than full-on crunchy since there's the chance of abandoning cloth altogether in the very near future.

2. Buying organic when possible. The commissary here has an okay-meh-sometimes-raunchy selection of organic produce. So I buy organic when it makes sense and try not to sweat it when we don't. If I had just Steve and myself that I to feed, I probably wouldn't even venture over to the organic section, but since I'm feeding tiny bodies fruits and veggies (well, attempting, at least), I don't want them to sprout an eleventh finger (just another nail to cut) or a second head (that equals a second mouth which equals more whining which means I need to start drinking NOW) by way of weird pesticides and chemicals.

3. Natural cleaning products. I steam mop my floors, use vinegar in my bathrooms (except for the black mold in my shower- that requires a full-on bottle of Scrubbing Bubbles- fight scary with scary), and don't use air fresheners. People who visit our house probably wish we would just suck up the side effects of the air fresheners already, but sorry. That smell (cloth dipes!) keeps folks from lingering for too long.

4. Recycle. I can't think of an easier way to be green than that.

Annnnnnnnd that's a wrap. Turns out that we're not so crunchy. At least not break-your-front-tooth-crunchy like a Nature Valley granola bar. We're more like an expired Quaker chewy bar, I guess. But those are good too in their own special way. Especially the chocolate-covered ones. ANYWAYS. I digress.

I was recently contacted by Happy Family to review some of their products. And yes, my first thought was that I was giving out my address to a serial killer. But then coupons and squeezies came in the mail and lo! THIS IS FOR REAL. We buy Happy Baby and Happy Tot squeezy packs daily weekly at the commissary. Mostly because they are the cheapest. But also because they are organic (re: my chewy-crunchy stance on that) and offer the biggest variety of veggie squeezies. I know they offer fruit squeezies as well, but my kids have no problems eating fruit. Therefore, no money shall be spent on mushed fruit in a pouch amen. And if it is, we call that a **Special Occasion**.  (And yogurt is still ice cream, I will cut the person who tells my children otherwise.)

Sam prefers the crinkle-and-squeeze method for getting every last drop.

Molly doesn't waste time with all that nonsense.

Anywho, I've never actually tried any of the squeezies before. Mostly because I buy broccoli, pea, and pear squeezies so no thanks. But I tried a taste of each of the squeezies sent to me/the kids and was surprised at how fruity they tasted! No wonder they suck these things down with such wild abandon. (Molly doesn't even take a breath until the whole pouch is completely deflated.) We also tried out the yogurt bites, and those were obviously a hit. They are a Special Treat as well. Mostly because they are very limited (aka the bags are tiny) and are easily smashed into oblivion inside the tiny crevices of any carpet within a 12-ft radius of the child consuming them. (No lie.) In Happy Family's defense, it is nice to have a desirable kid snack that isn't made of total crap. It is just a snack we will save for desperate situations like airplane flights and lunches out (aka places where I am not responsible for the end state of the floors).

Since I went out to dinner with Sarah the other night for dinner, I left Steve to make the Happy Tot meal bowl for Sam. It did not go well. He is our resident Picky Eater. And since I had eaten a small ocean's worth of sushi for dinner that night, I didn't try it myself. Maybe if you don't have a picky eater, that might be a winner for you. Sam mostly prefers turkey dogs to appear out of our microwave, not a meal of quinoa and vegetables.

And now, to get to the point of this post, I have a giveaway. Because I know my kids are not the only ones addicted to squeezies like mini crackheads.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

**I was given the items mentioned above to review, but as you can tell (I hope), the opinions written here are all my own.**