Thankful

After watching tornadoes rip apart my home state yesterday, I looked around me and realized how truly BLESSED we are to have what we have: a home that keeps us warm/cool and dry, good food to eat, a loving family to be with every day, extended family that are SAFE and sound despite the awful weather, a sweet, healthy baby who sleeps through the night and eats his food, and a husband who is home and takes care of us like you wouldn't believe.

I'm am so incredibly blessed.

Sammy dishin' out some sloppy kisses

Half the church saw my undies

I will deem Easter a success this year, despite the Panty Flashing Incident of 2011, in which my dress got hung up on the seat of my chair in church when I knelt down, exposing my old, white GRANNY-PANTIES that are so heinous that I previously vowed never to wear them out of the house ever again, but wore them anyway because I didn't want people seeing my blue flower-patterned granny panties through my dress, but at least then they would have thought that I had some sort of personality if they'd seen those over the OLD, UGLY WHITE ONES. As soon as I realized what was going on, I punched Steve in the arm for not noticing the state of my drawers and their overexposure, to which he replied, "I'm not ALWAYS staring at your butt!" GAH. He reassured me by telling me that there were only women sitting behind us. Really? ONLY women? I find that a little hard to believe. But I truly have next to no shame anymore (thanks Childbirth!), so as soon as I got home and remembered about the Reeses eggs, I got over it pretty quickly.

Speaking of the Reeses eggs... They were GOOD.

Look at the size of that belly! Sweet potatoes and carrots are doin' that body GOOD!

Sammy did not fit into his appropriate Easter outfit, shown above, (but it was also put on BACKWARDS (I'm lookin' at you, Steve)) so he went classy and casual to mass with a different bunny outfit. For someone who sleeps, burps, and eats throughout the entire service, I don't think attire is all that important.

 

We've got a little ham on our hands...

That's better. But speaking of ham, Easter dinner went off without a hitch! Everything appeared to be edible, but I didn't remember to take pictures of the food due to a Severe Bowel Emergency (Sam's, not mine) at the start of dinner. You will have to take my word for it that it looked like something Martha Stewart and Paula Deen might have dreamed up together, served in gorgeous Polish pottery, while we were all wearing our Sunday best, not our sweatpants.

Also in attendance for the amazing Easter dinner were my in-laws, also known as The Best Dog Sitters On The Face Of The Earth. In order to go out with a bang, they drove something like FOURTEEN HOURS in the car! with two dogs! one who has butt-juice issues! another who is scared of riding in the car! just to return them to us! I think there is some sort of heroic medal that needs to be awarded to them both immediately. We could have never had Marci (beagle) with us while we lived in our apartment in Virginia, and after having Sammy, even Odie (pug) got shipped up to Pennsylvania for an extended staycation at the Resort a la Dignazio. They received quality attention and care and more walks and bananas than they ever dreamed possible. And my in-laws saved us something like, a bajillion dollars in boarding fees. So a huge shout-out to my in-laws! Y'all rock! Oh, and both dogs have sunk into a deep, dark depression since they realized that their vacation is over and the attention has shifted DRASTICALLY to the tiny person.

The depression is masked a lot by excessive sleep. It looks something like this.

To be clear, Steve is not depressed. He just enjoys sleeping.

These two are the depressed parties.

Here they are in action. Steve was taunting them with the hambone.

Giving them a nibble.

And an accurate pictorial summary of Easter at the Dignazio house.

Happy Easter!

Hope your Easter is filled with joy, family, and yummy yummy Reeses eggs....

Also, please send up a prayer that I don't royally screw up Easter dinner due to the ridiculous amounts of both wine and Reeses eggs that I'm currently consuming (with no intentions of stopping...).

He's growing up

Sammy has been eating like a wild man lately. Today, after eating a 4-ounce jar of mixed veggies and half of a mashed-up banana, he zeroed in on my hand. While he was knawing away on my fingers, I took the opportunity to feel around that sweet little gummy mouth.

And that's when I felt them.

And also when I started crying (but not because I was hurting). (Well, physically I wasn't hurting.)

My BABY is cutting two teeth.

Now please excuse me while I go clean the snot and tears (MINE) off of the highchair because if it gets mixed in with the residual carrots, so help me God, it's going to take some Mean Green and Pine Sol and Greased Lightening to get that out. And combining those chemicals just might take out half of our block.

First brigade ball

This past Friday night, Steve and I went to our first brigade ball. I started out excited about it (well, after I got over Operation Dress Stress and Deathcon Shoe Search) because we would get to go out! alone! and talk with adults! and wear something besides sweat pants! and perhaps drink alcohol!

Well let's be real here. I drank a LOT of alcohol. After not drinking for 9 months (baby incubation period) and then breastfeeding for 6 months and then Lent for 40 days (which, technically, we are not outta the woods with that yet, but I pretended it was Sunday), one glass of wine did me in. But did I stop there? No, why? We were having a good time! I got a cosmopolitan and Steve and I both got BIG EYES while we watched the bartender fill up half a Solo cup with vodka. Better judgement SHOULD have kicked in and said, "Is this really a good idea? You haven't even been through the receiving line yet, which is UP THE STAIRS, and you are already not so talented at walking around in high heels and floor-length gowns, so you might wanna just STEP AWAY FROM THAT LOADED DRINK WOMAN." But I just flicked that little thought off my shoulder and sipped on my Very Strong Drink.

After becoming thoroughly tipsy, the GUEST OF HONOR and his WIFE approached us (out of at least 200 people standing around ???) and wanted to chat it up. They were familiar with Auburn and had been there many times so we talked about that for a while and I tried very hard to appear sober and respectable and like this wasn't the first time I've had a drink in over a year. Who knows if I succeeded at that or not. But by the time we were finished talking with them, we had to get in line to go through the receiving line. And our drinks were still FULL. Steve knew better than to go against his conscience, so he ditched his drink, but remember that I had already left my conscience way back there with my first glass of wine? So I proceeded to chug the rest of my drink while simultaneously walking up the stairs. That turned out about as well as you'd imagine it would.

I managed to shake everyone's hand in the receiving line and a General's wife fixed my necklace (you know when the clasp works its way around to the charm) and then she gave me a big hug. Maybe drunk is a good thing! People can relate to that! Maybe she wished she didn't have to stand in that stupid receiving line while 2LT's wives were down below getting lit.

Somehow, after the receiving line we ended up in the line for pictures. I'm not sure how that happened. Maybe the staircase down just looked too challenging at that point. Either way, I hope my eyes aren't doing that crazy half-open thing because then I would REALLY appear intoxicated and that wasn't the whole look I was going for for my First Brigade Ball Photo.

We eventually ended up in the ballroom at a table with a bunch of guys and gals that Steve will be joining and working with starting this week. They turned out to be a riot and we had a good time being at their table. Then we met the Colonel and I was introduced as the new FRG leader.
Wait. Whaaa??? I figured they would at least wait until I was sober before I could agree to a decision like that. I guess I will wait around to see if any of them were sober enough to remember naming me that.

And after eating some really awful food and watching people do ridiculously large shots of the Regimental Punch, we had to call it a night. A ball that lasts five hours BEFORE dancing? Kinda lengthy, Army, kinda lengthy. Maybe they should consider starting these affairs at 3 in the afternoon so people who go to bed early (like US) could have a little FUN afterward? We were so tired that we came straight home and passed out. No dancing for us. We did have fun going out alone and not worrying about Sammy since he was in such capable hands while we were gone!

Six months

My little Sammy is officially six months old today. I'm not one of those moms who keeps track of how many "weeks" he is because no one but other moms seems to care about that, and I'm not in the habit of storing information in my head that I don't intend to use. I'm sure in the Weeks System, Sam turned six months weeks ago, but since he just started ACTING like a true six-month-old (on his six-month birthday, no doubt), I assume that Sammy is going by the Month System too. So. Six months. Here is a brief (AHAHAHAHA) synopsis of what little Sammy is up to:

The child is wearing six month AND nine month clothes. My Once Upon A Child card is getting stamped up like crazy.

Less than 12 hours old

He started eating FOOD off of a SPOON. Mainly carrots, but I also slipped in some apple juice with his rice cereal this morning and he ate that just fine. He ate the carrots so fast that I couldn't load the spoon up fast enough for him. An entire jar, people. It took him three days to finish the same size jar the first time we tried carrots, but yesterday he snarfed down a jar in 10 minutes or so. He would suck on the highchair if I was taking too long to shovel more in.

October 2010

He sleeps through the night (for the most part). There are occasions where he still needs us to stick his pacifier back in his mouth, and I've realized that we have to use Pampers or Huggies at night due to the extreme peeing capabilities this child has, which ultimately soaks THROUGH the diaper and onto his pajamas and sheet.

October 2010

His feet are his new favorite toy, and he does really funny movements with his hands.

October 2010

If you put him on his stomach, he rolls straight to his back, but, ironically, prefers to sleep on his side and stomach at night.

November 2010

Fine motor skills improve every day. Case in point: Instead of pulling large chunks of hair out of my head, he hones in on the most sensitive and painful hair he can pull, and then, instead of yanking it out already, he tugs and tugs and holds on with all his might. He will also soon know the meaning of the word NO.

November 2010

Once he starts talking, you CANNOT TURN HIM OFF. This would be super-cute if he didn't get the strong urge to babble at FOUR AY EM.

December 2010

In church, we sit in the very front row directly under the pulpit. (This is so we can actually HEAR what's going on since no one else in church seems to be bothered by their children screaming, yelling, running around, and, in general, being TOTAL PAINS IN THE ASS.) We have found though that Sammy thinks our Polish priest (with his exaggerated enunciation and wild arm movements) is talking directly to him and no one else, so he pays attention pretty well during mass. He especially loves to people-watch during Communion. But come on, who doesn't?

January 2011

 Still thinks Peek-a-Boo is hilarious.

January 2011

His favorite book is Mrs. McNosh Hangs Up Her Wash. Doesn't hurt that I love reading it to him. Runner up would be Bear Snores On. Got em both at a yard sale. Probably spent $1 total. Side note: I would have paid MORE. These are both cute books that won't make you wanna rip the hair straight out of your head, like, um, THESE. I don't own Dr. Seuss for a REASON. Berenstein Bears books seem to be a little too mature for him right now- no rhyming, too many words, so many life lessons. Gotta start slow.

January 2011

 Sam can sit up on his own for short periods of time, unless he sees something he wants lingering to his LEFT or RIGHT, and then it's Game Over because he doesn't care if he smacks face-first onto the bed, he goes after what he wants.

February 2011

Loves screens. And any kind too- TV screens, computer screens, cell phone screens, you name it. But we are still holding strong with the No TV Until You're Two Rule. Only a year and a half to go, right? (Nervous laugh)

February 2011

 Loves being naked.

March 2011

Scared to death of grass.

March 2011

Loves watching other children.

March 2011

Takes stroller rides like a pro.

April 2011

This child is no mama's boy. He loves Steve. Every time Steve enters his line of sight (even if the last time he saw him was 0.03 seconds before), he lights up like a Christmas tree and giggles and reaches for his face and smiles while Steve plants big, wet kisses on his cheeks. I can tell that my "job" in this whole parenting scene is going to be Enforcer while Steve will get to be the Fun One. Although I do have to give Steve credit for bathtime and bedtime routine. It's their time of day to see each other, and while it's not Sam's happiest time of day, I know he enjoys Steve doing that routine more than me. Wanna know how I know that? Of course you do!
Steve got home late from work one day and Sam needed the routine done, so I did it. Not only did he scream the entire time about the injustice being performed, but when I was drying him off and dressing him, he heard the dryer making noises and thought it was Steve coming down the hall. As soon as he was done staring longingly at the door and realized that Daddy wasn't coming for him, he would start the screaming up again.

April 2011

Also, this one time... Sam was sitting on my lap while I was sitting next to Steve. Steve tooted (well, let's be honest, men don't toot, they FART and cloud up the room with a thick, green fog) and not five seconds later I felt Sammy's stomach tighten and he squeaked out his own little toot (definitely a toot when you're such a little man). Could there BE any further confirmation that you are this child's hand-picked role model???

April 2011

Ticklish under his arms (JUST LIKE HIS DADDY). Also laughs a lot when I change his diaper. ??

Yesterday

Has no patience when he's hungry (also like his Daddy, except Steve usually doesn't scream or cry that I'm not cooking fast enough).

Yesterday

Enjoys listening to the alphabet, although there are only about 6 songs on my playlist (you know, the playlist that comes out of my mouth) and the alphabet happens to be the only one I can sing while doing ANYthing. If I sing Jesus Loves Me while I'm writing out the grocery list, I'll get to the store and wonder what aisle Jesus is on.

April 2011

This boy does so many cute, sweet things throughout the day that I could go on and on, but I think that's probably enough. I'm looking forward to watching him grow up and continue to develop and interact with Steve and me (but let's be real, interacting with me is a necessity since I'm the one shoveling the food down his throat and changing his orange, carrot-poop diapers; interacting with Steve is what he WANTS. Nonstop.).
Love that baby. :)

What a DAY

Yesterday was SO WEIRD. So many bizarro things happened that I honestly couldn't tell if I was dreaming or if this was, in fact, REAL LIFE. Quick rundown:

• Sam slept until 9am. NINE AY EM!! We are accustomed to a 5:30, sometimes 6 or 6:30am, wake-up call from the wee one, so you can understand why I still woke up at 6:30 and repeatedly went in his room to check that he was still alive. (Good news! He was! Just really tired for some reason!)
• Sam took a mighty long nap. Again, he has set the standard for taking an hour nap at lunchtime. Yesterday, he slept for two and a half hours straight. Freaky.
• I had my legs rubbed by a nice Asian man.
• Ate lunch with a softball team.
• Had my eyebrows waxed (oh yes I did) and get this- IT DID NOT HURT. I half expected fairies to start flying around my head after that was over.
• I got invited to a sex toy party by my neighbor (female, so not AS creepy, right?)
• Got suckered into GOING to the sex toy party by my HUSBAND who thought I needed to cross that off my bucket list. (Bucket list? Do I even have one? Sex toy parties would probably not have made the cut if I did have one..)
• Realized that I am way not "cool" compared to other girls my age. Also, I will be the only girl my age not to die of lung cancer since I'm the ONLY one who doesn't smoke.
• Saw way too much at that party.
• Go home to find that Sam has taken ANOTHER two hour nap and is STILL SLEEPING. It was already 45 minutes past his regular bedtime, and he was still working on a NAP.
• Steve asks me if I notice anything different about the house. Did he sweep? No. Did he vacuum? Nuh-uh. Wash dishes? Nope. He got the sudden and powerful urge to CLEAN THE BASEBOARDS. ????
• Sam wakes up and we go about our day (although for us, it was turning into NIGHT).
• Talk to our neighbor and he lets it slip that he's a felon? Or that there are felons in the NFL? We didn't really want to clarify that, so we are assuming he was talking about the NFL.
• Sam FINALLY goes to bed at 8:30, a full two and a half hours AFTER his usual bedtime.
• We finally eat dinner at 9:00pm.
• Watch our neighbors play beer pong while I point out who was the freakiest sex person at the party. (SPOILER: It's the lady you DO NOT want to imagine doing anything of the sort. (Read: OLD, and missing a few teeth.))
• Went to go to bed and realized we have no sheets on the bed. They're still in the dryer.
• Go to bed at a VERY late hour for us (10:30pm) fully expecting Sam to sleep his usual 12 hours and wake up around 8am. 
• Sam: Not on board with that plan. Wakes up at regular time this morning, aka CRACK O' DAWN.
• Us: Please GOD let us have a NORMAL day today. Amen.

My Pathfinder (Does this mean we should - theoretically - never get lost again?)

Once again, I am so proud of my LT. He got into Pathfinder school here at Ft Campbell, studied his BUTT off for 3 weeks straight, passed his tests, enjoyed himself, and graduated today. It makes my heart happy to see him so happy.

Whheeeeeeeerrrrrrreeeee's Waldo?

Obviously, I knew he could do it all along.

There he is :)

 After all, it's a lot of math, and he's always quick to give me the cost-per-ounce/gram/liter breakdown at the grocery store. (I thoroughly stink at math.)

Sammy's really proud of him too (although he wasn't in the mood for photos).

And he won't say it to Steve, but he's happy to have his bathtime buddy back.

No, that's a screaming baby, not a laughing one. Bathtime is not a happy time of day around here. I know his face is deceiving. 

This is more like it.