Sweating: the details

Coming at you live from the couch, utilizing my sit-down time (pumping) and my hands-free pumping bra (I can see my reflection in the computer screen and it's horrifying) to recap the day. Our days are usually pretty busy but today was insane. And I'm not sure how much or how often I'll be able to speak to Steve, so I figured I'd write it all out here. If he ever gets some sort of internet access and the desire to fall asleep reading about some stay at home mom minutiae, I can hook him up. Maybe I can recap nightly. Maybe just this week and never again. We'll see how it goes.

This morning started off with a 2am wakeup from Hank, parched and starving to death. I got him back down around 3:30 and went back to bed. Alarm at 5:15 because BUS DAY. The suburban must have gotten wind that it was paid off, so naturally it decided to die a horrible death soon after. The headlights wouldn't turn off until the battery was dead, so if we wanted to go anywhere, we had to use Steve's car to jump mine off and get her goin. Then either leave it running or pray it started back up again while we were out. (Love living dangerously.) I had an appointment at a Chevy dealer this morning to get it fixed, but did not want to attempt jumping the suburban off in the dark and with the possibility that it might not start at all (although I did have a tow scheduled just in case), so the kids rode the buses to school.

They go to different schools, and ride different buses, and those buses are on two wildly different schedules. Sam's bus comes at 6:40. As in the morning 6:40. Insanity, right? So I got up extra early to make sure we all got there in time. He made the bus, we walked back home, putzed around (fed babies), and walked back up to the bus stop for Molly's bus 45 minutes later. I pushed the small two home and got the cars ready for the big jump.

Miraculously, it only took about 15 minutes to charge my battery enough to start and I was able to cancel the tow. We drove to the dealer (about a half hour away) and handed over the car. Will was somewhat contained in the showroom, watching all of the cars and trucks driving by outside the big windows. One of the salesmen commented on how hyper his grandchildren are (and I started to cringe), but then told me how calm Will is in comparison. Annnnnnnd exhale. But also lol because it does not feel that way to me. We only waited an hour and a half and only paid a minimal charge and we were on our way. Oh what was wrong with it? Just some wires and their protective coating burned off, that's all. Mechanic was a little surprised nothing had caught fire yet, no big deal. CERTIFIED PRE-OWNED MY ASS, NYC CHEVY DEALER. We also found a condom in the headrest the other day while cleaning out the car, so maybe a fiery explosion in the engine is small beans compared to what the rest of that car was put through prior to becoming our wholesome family wagon.

We came home, I threw food at Will, attempted to pump, Hank screamed at the slowness of it all, and I finally put Will down for a nap before feeding Hank. Managed to eat lunch during naptime but that was about it because we had to do diaper changes before walking to the bus stop to pick up Molly. I changed Hank, then changed Will. Heard Hank loudly and wetly (<--no squiggly line, that's a word) fart. So I changed Hank again. Went to find Will and he was looking mighty guilty so I asked if he pooped and he smacked his bottom Britney Spears style and gave me a grunt. Changed Will again. Loaded them up in the stroller and walked up to the bus stop. Got Molly off the bus (bus was running late. AGAIN.) and headed home. We grabbed her dance stuff, some snacks for the kids, some milk bottles, buckled everyone in, and rushed up to Sam's school to pick him up.

Except when I got there, there was no pickup line, no teachers standing outside, nothing. I seriously thought by the time I got Molly off the bus, I'd just cruise right on in and pick him up and avoid the line. (His bus gets home at the same time that Molly's dance class starts.) Get everybody out of the car, hustle into school, walk of shame into the office, retrieve Sam, hustle back out to the car, buckle everyone back in, zoom into town. Of course it was the first day of dance, the place was a freakin' zoo. Cars everywhere, dance moms everywhere, and then there was me, herding my three cats and big ass carseat through the tiny little entry area. I got Molly to the door she was supposed to go in and asked her teacher if they sold little ribbon ties for the tap shoes because I didn't have any but brought some shoelaces.... I hate being that person.... Of course they don't sell ribbon ties and my shoelaces were garbage, so they ended up making her laces out of hair ties (geniuses) and I noticed that I did not even rip out the tape on the inside of her shoe that said $3. Thrift shop, y'all. And they were half off when I bought them too, but I'm gonna let them think I paid the full $3 like a baller.

Checkin' out the ladies... Hank looks like he's seen some shit, but he's fine.

Anyways, it was obvious that none of the boys would last in that place for an entire hour, so we shuffled BACK out to the car, got everyone buckled back in, headed up to Sonic to see if they are selling alcoholic slushies yet (a sad, hard no), got some water instead, and headed back to the dance studio to wait for Molly's class to end. Shuffled everybody back inside the crowded dance studio only to see that they let the parents in the class at some point (?!) and got Molly. She had a GREAT time at the class and was thrilled by it all. I am already dying at the thought of seeing her at her dance recital. Cannot wait.

Killin' me with the cute!

We got home and surprise! Dinnertime rush. Once everyone was inside, I attempted to slap together some pb&j sandwiches, but realized that I never took the bread out of the freezer. Womp womp. I also have that kid that's allergic to peanut butter. Hmm. Found three hot dog buns and decided those chicken sausages were destined live like hot dogs. The trick is putting enough ketchup on them and then distracting the kids with something else while they eat them. Mission accomplished. I fed Hank and once the natives started getting restless, we all headed upstairs to do bathtime. Easily the most dreadful part of the day. The awkward leaning into the tub, wondering if I'm scrubbing enough or if soap touching them is passable, water shooting everywhere, so much sweating, rushing to bathe them as quickly as possible before Hank loses his mind again in the other room. So fun.

Once they're all bathed and teeth brushed, Hank freaks so I take him downstairs and warm up some milk for him. Molly follows me minutes later and says something about the Mighty Machines movie being over. Cue bedtime! And cue whining. We say prayers and I carefully chuck them all into bed, kissing them goodnight while threatening them with something awful (I don't know what yet... but something.) if they dare come out of their rooms. Change Hank, swaddle Hank, feed Hank into a milk coma. As soon as I put him down he wakes up. So I turn on the rocker and turn off the light and tell the big two to go back to bed as I run down the stairs to make myself some dinner. Which turns out to be what I was going to make myself for breakfast, but I never had time for that this morning. Surprisingly delicious, but the bottom of my shoe probably would have tasted good by that point I was so hungry. Load the dishwasher, wash everything in the sink, prep coffeepot, lock doors, make a mental note to take out the trash tomorrow (I'm definitely gonna forget), and finish pumping.

Side note: I'm giving up the pumping. Long story short, I just don't have the time! Obviously! Which hurts me (and my boobs specifically) because I know that I am really good at making milk! My body can make all this great free food and yet I don't have the schedule to allow for the milk to come out. And there is no way in hell that I'm trying to actually breastfeed again. I attempted it the other day and almost died waiting for him to clamp down on me. (I've got some bad latch PTSD.) But instead of clamping down he just looked horrified (wtfffffffff Mahhhhhhmmmmmm stahhhhp) until I quit trying. So I ordered some formula and that was that. I'm waiting for my boobs to quit with the supply already and my freezer stash is slowly dwindling. Kinda sad but I'm also kinda ready. Operation Deployment Bod needs to get goin' and that can't happen if Operation Milk Factory is still in full-on production mode.

Well I'm done pumping now and need to shower because besides making milk and a big scene at the Chevy dealer, I did a lot of sweating today. And that will wear a girl out.

I'm sure this post was only about 50% coherent as my mind is still running as fast as the day did, but hey-o I did it! I blogged! Finally. Goodnight.

Molly's deer-themed birthday party

When Molly and I were first discussing her 5th birthday party, I asked her what kind of party she would like. She came right out and said "a horsey party." Which was exactly the answer I wanted to hear as I had found tons and tons of cute horsey ideas and our friends had barns and horses and it was going to be SO FUN.

Well.

The next day Molly changed her mind (a woman's right, y'all!) and said she'd like a deer party instead. (Steve drops them off at the bus stop each morning and will sometimes take them riding down some country roads if they have a little extra time and see if they can spot some deer. I assume seeing these animals up close and in large groups really made them that much more appealing to her.) I would routinely check in with her about this decision to make sure this is what she really REALLY wanted (hoping she would change her mind, again), but every time I asked, she seemed to grow stronger in her conviction that a deer party was where it's at. My old brain strained and creaked and moaned and groaned and finally came up with an attack plan for the deer party.

First, I obviously looked to Pinterest for guidance as I had no clue where to start. Pinterest was little help though, as it seems deer parties are not a thing. And if they are, it's more of a boy's hunting party, chock full of camo. I'm not opposed to this but I ONLY HAVE ONE LITTLE GIRL AND HER BIRTHDAY WILL NOT BE CAMO-THEMED THE END.

I feel like I hit up every thrift store within a 60 mile radius to see if there was anything deer-ish that didn't necessarily involve camo or John Deere. It was not easy, but I think overall it turned out great!

Toadstools and rabbit food

Toadstool cupcakes

Lake water

Twigs

Deer droppings (chocolate covered raisins), forest berries (gummies), and squirrel mix

It started out a little chilly and overcast, but by the time all of our friends arrived, the sun came out and it was absolutely beautiful weather!

My parents made Sam's and Will's shirts and I adore them. Sam has been dying to wear his - Molly was so thrilled that he had a John Deere shirt.

I found Molly's shirt on a secondhand children's clothing app (Kidizen). Perfect and sweet.

I (kind of sarcastically) bid on and won Steve's shirt at a silent auction at a church spaghetti supper - he wears it proudly and Molly LOVES IT. She was really disappointed I didn't have a John Deere shirt, but I settled for a floral shirt and my red mud boots.

We played lots of fun games - all deer related, of course. But first we bobbed for donuts.

Korea stick coming in handy

I highly recommend this game for a party as it is extremely entertaining to watch and the kids love it. Other positives include: cheap, not much prep involved, and easy.

We also played Hide From The Hunter.

Pretty much just glorified hide and seek but the seeker/hunter got to wear this sweet hunting cap.

I also had an antler ring toss game planned, but the set I ordered from Amazon was riddled with holes and we couldn't even get it inflated. We did limbo with the Korea stick and that was funny. We did a pinata as well that didn't hold up nearly as long as I thought it would!! The kids had a blast whacking it though. I settled for a "5" pinata (similar to this) because the alternative was either a tractor or a deer strung up by its feet and neither one of those seemed particularly appealing to me for a young girl's birthday party.

After my few attempts at organized fun, the kids just ran wild and entertained themselves, which worked out perfectly with the adults' desire to sit on the deck in the sun and sip on koolaid. Overall the party was a success, with Sam asleep before 7 and Molly telling me it was a really great party. I absolutely love planning birthday parties for the kids and even though the deer theme was challenging, it turned out to be so much fun!

Love you, my big 5 year old!!

Molly's 5th birthday and the sickies

Last pictures as a 4 year old

In all of our unedited, end-of-the-day glory

I was so relieved to finally get everyone to bed that night that I kinda sorta forgot that I had to decorate for Molly's birthday the next morning. So around 10pm when Steve was brushing his teeth, he came out of the bathroom to find me hanging banners and blowing up balloons and telling him to go get Molly's new bike out of the trunk of his car. Whoops. One day I'll probably never get it together.

So we were supposed to have Molly's deer party on Saturday. Sam ended up throwing up the night before, and while normally it is just a freak puke, this was legit sickness and I couldn't risk getting other people's kids sick. I also didn't want for Sam to have to miss the party since his and Molly's friend set is comprised of all the same people. Luckily everyone was cool with us rescheduling the party for this coming weekend.

We had to wake everyone up to get to school on time and do birthday waffles/sing Happy Birthday.

Can you tell she is barely awake yet? Sam was curled in a ball in the corner of the room, refusing to participate. Fun times.

Sam ended up staying home from school and Molly rode the bus to school by herself. Sam slept a lot and was generally out of it the rest of the day.

I kept checking what 2017 minus 2012 was because there is no way that Molly is FIVE. YEARS. OLD. It seems completely impossible.

I can barely even remember her being this tiny (and quiet heh)

Pretty sure that balloon and half a cupcake were the extent of her first birthday celebration- Steve was deployed at the time and I lacked any and all motivation at that point to do more than that apparently.

Big 2 year old in Korea!!

Apparently she morphed into a big kid while in Korea

And last year her birthday fell on Easter while we were in Alabama visiting my parents

I got one semi decent picture of her on her new bike before she headed off to school for the day. A bike was her only birthday request and she really needed a bigger one.

We ended up having weather in the upper 50s that day, which I think we can all agree, was the best gift anyone could ask for after so many cold days in a row. We opened the windows to air out the germs and breathe in the fresh country air.

If it's your birthday, you get to taste test the frosting and lick the beater.

I ended up getting two new 6" cake pans for Molly's party and I made the cakes Friday night (pre-puking) and using my regular chocolate cake recipe, it made four layers. Three layers seemed excessively tall so I stopped there and just stored the extra layer.

Deeeeelicious. And right after I snapped that pic, I took the rest of the cake to our neighbors. I don't have a dome large enough to cover the cake, nor do we need to have cake that delicious sitting around tempting us to make bad decisions.

The best we could do given the time of day, lighting, attitudes, sugar crash, etc.

In addition to her bike, Molly received a stuffed baby deer, a forest animals coloring book, new crayons (twistable crayons, which are basically the best thing ever), and some new nail polish.

With the weather being so nice the past few days, we have been on so many walks around town and Molly is really loving the new bike! Sam is back to school today, just in time for Will to start coughing and acting sickly. Yesterday I forced Sam and Molly to take naps and then Will went down for a nap and for two hours there was a THREE WAY NAP. Let me repeat, all three of my children were napping at the same time, in the same room, and I sat in the living room with the windows open and the birds chirping and wondering wtf was going on, what do I do, how am I supposed to behave? It was glorious. I ended up waking them all up at 4 so they'd eventually go to bed that night and we took another walk or two around town.

We will try the deer birthday party again this weekend, good Lord willing and the creek don't rise. Hopefully the recap of that will contain better quality photos and more cake.

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