• Some bloggers write posts and schedule them to appear in the future. Other bloggers (ahem, myself) write posts and try to go back in time to last weekend. If I don't recap it, I'm sure to forget it. And it was fun, so here we go.
• Sadly, we got word that our sitter is leaving very soon for the States. Permanently. So I was happy that I booked her for Steve's birthday weekend so we could do one last big day out in Seoul. I will be honest, it's hard to take the kids to some spots in Seoul because getting there requires a lot of walking and train riding and more walking, and they're lazy they have short legs. They like to be carried or they have no interest in seeing what we want to see because it doesn't involve a swing set. So these days out alone are cherished and will be sorely missed. (Because our camp is closing, there will be no more people coming in, only more people leaving. So our sitter pool is about bone dry. Insert lots of dramatic weeping from me here.)
• We set out to go to the sheep cafe first. Naturally. I'm not sure why, but I feel like I will regret not seeing these things. Going to a regular cafe- why? I can do that in the States! Let's go to one that possibly violates every food and health safety code in the book. 

• And contrary to my popular belief, the sheep are not just wandering around the cafe, pooping on everything in sight and eating your magazine while taking a sip of your latte. They are outside (where you can choose to sit and share your latte) and the cafe portion is inside. We petted the sheep and went in where it was warm. 

• We ordered coffee and a giant waffle to split. I'm not sure why this was our first time ordering a waffle in Korea. I've been missing out on this for a year and a half?!

It tasted even better than my crappy phone camera could capture. Massively thick waffle with bananas, strawberry, gelato, and whipped cream, topped with syrup. I'm hungry just thinking about it.

• Next, we took the most convoluted train ride and somehow ended up in Seoul Station to transfer to another line.

•  Then we got onto a train that was sorta crowded.

Jk we were packed like damn sardines

• We ventured on over to Myeongdong (fancy shopping district in Seoul) in hopes that we could go to Dr. Fish. We spoke with some helpful information folks and they informed us that it was closed right now but we could go to this other place and experience the same fishy thing. So we finally found this tiny place and lo and behold it is the same place that I received the most painful foot massage from (in a different town). Did I even blog about that? Can't remember, but I got a foot massage that felt like the masseuse was channeling Satan's wrath into my every foot bone. The people at this foot place spoke zero English, but luckily (for us) a girl walked in that spoke limited English and she helped translate that NO we did not want a massage-y, just the fishies. We put on the mandatory spa outfits (so cute) and rinsed our feet before sticking them in this tiny little tub full of fish. Steve is apparently much better at maintaining his feet than I am at scrubbing my hooves, because the fish were fighting each other over who got to eat my feet, while Steve's feet remained untouched. Eventually I convinced a few that his feet were tasty too, but the focus remained on mine. 

Fish weren't even creeped out at my boxy feet!

• After drinking our tea and deciding that this wasn't nearly as weird as it was said to be, we headed off on the next leg of our adventure- street food.

•  We really love street food, and can easily make a meal out of it, but with the kids, it becomes more difficult. Not only because you must eat while walking, but also because no one is selling chicken nuggets. And let's not forget that someone might impale themselves while walking with food stuck to a big wooden spear.

Far left- hot dogs covered in french fries on a stick. We opted for some yaki mandu (dumplings).

• We walked over to Namdaemun (a huge market area that sells anything and everything you could ever imagine) to continue on with the street food lunch when we came upon lots of police barricading off traffic. Then we heard chanting and saw flags. Ooh a parade! Let's stop and watch. Only, as they got closer, we realized that this was not a parade, but instead, a protest. Stupidly, we stayed and watched even though we had no clue what they were so angry about.

Silly American, you should not be here. I should hit you on the head with one of my walkie talkies for filming this nonsense.

• I sent photos to a Korean friend the next day and she informed me that they were protesting about part time jobs or something of the sort. Thank goodness in retrospect. Anyways, after that we continued on. Crossing the street we spotted this old gem in the middle of the intersections and modern high rise buildings.

We didn't have time to wander down and see which ancient gate this was, but I still love this picture.

And I'll never get enough of Seoul Tower. Never!

• We ended our evening at a pub in Itaewon filled with people way cooler than us. We had the best beers and marveled at how nice it is to eat your food while it's still hot.

• We got home at 8pm and it felt like 11. 
• Took the crazies to church the next morning.

•  And Monday morning, Steve turned 27!

Everybody gets excited for waffle birthday breakfast! And Sam is always disappointed there is no frosting to lick off of the candle.

• While Steve was at work, I spent the entire day in the kitchen. And I do mean that literally. I woke up and started making the waffles. Dishes. Laundry. More dishes. Then he came home for lunch and I made some pumpkin lasagna rolls for him since we were about out of everything else. Prep more food for the 28 Day Jumpstart. Start pizza dough. Bake a cake. Make frosting. Boil some eggs. Portion out quinoa and chicken. More dishes. More dishes. Swap laundry. Lather, rinse, repeat. (Literally)

A blip of the madness and a fraction of Sam's head

• Meanwhile, the kids mostly played together nicely while abandoning part of their pajamas.

Making birthday cards for Daddy - Molly has quite the signature

• Molly was so excited to celebrate Steve's birthday that she just couldn't contain her excitement any longer.

Bless her heart. She perked back up once I put the pizza in front of her.

• Finally Steve came home and we ate pizza and sang Happy Birthday. Sam was so happy there was icing to lick off of these candles.

• Tuesday yielded more pink eye. I swear to you, the illnesses that prevent preschool are about to take me out. Sam had pink eye in one eye that kept him (and subsequently, Molly too) out of school for a week. Then it was all better! Yes! Then one day it showed up in his OTHER eye and ARGH. We ended up going to Seoul to go grocery shopping and to get Sam a haircut. We needed to get out of the house after the full day of cooking and being inside the day before. On our way out of town, we stopped off at a park exit to freeze walk by the Han River. We saw so many fun things. It makes me excited for warmer weather. (I KNOW.)

Sometimes I wish I could keep him in an actual bubble and not just a sun flare.

Watching a guy kite surf on a skateboard

We watched Chinooks, Black Hawks, and jet planes fly over the river and above the Olympic stadium. These two were in heaven.

• After spending a few hours at the kids cafe on Wednesday, we visited our beef and leaf and Sam seriously chowed down.

• On Thursday, Sam's eye still appeared to be pinkish and once again, everyone stayed home from preschool.

More pajamas

• When I told them that we needed to go to the commissary for milk and bananas and yogurt (the most essential of essentials here), Sam said, "No.... I don't wanna leave the house!" And after saying out loud all of the things we needed to do just to get ready to leave, I had to agree with him. A milk-less Friday morning was kinda rough, but I'm happy to say we all survived it. They ended up going to school on Friday and I was able to get ALL OF THE ERRANDS done! I met Steve for lunch and I finally took a picture of this gem.

Original Dale! Holy old!

• And now.... the three day weekend.

• Hoe-wee moe-wee, as Sam would say. Another weekend is upon us! Hallelujah. Just in time for me to recap last weekend/week. Mostly in pictures because that's just how we roll around here.
• We have spent so much time at this kids' cafe this winter that we could probably just drop the kids off and leave at this point, knowing full well that they would be taken care of.

This lady is the sweetest. She speaks almost zero English but she loves on these kids like they were her own.

She also fixes Molly's hair (I am not qualified!) and yes, there are still Christmas decorations up EVERYWHERE here! My kids are so confused.

• Thursday brought many f bombs, if I'm being honest. They were going off like fireworks in my head. We got word that morning that the four-day weekend was being taken away (from Steve's battalion ONLY) for no reason. (I mean, no reason other than the fact that Steve works for huge assholes. I can say that on a private blog, right? It's true, either way.) And after booking a hotel in Seoul for Saturday night, the battalion commander would not sign the pass Steve needed to spend the night in Seoul. (Because yes, we are freaking 16 years old and have to ask permission to do anything or go anywhere.) So I cancelled the reservation and began to pout about what we wouldn't be doing over our smog-filled weekend. As I came to peace with the decision that we would all survive (by drinking and/or watching a lot of kids' movies), Steve came home to tell me that the 4-day was miraculously reinstated. (Probably because the asshole battalion commander realized that he cannot take away a federal holiday as if he were some sort of commander in chief. ASSHOLE.) Still would not sign the freaking pass, and Steve still had to work all day Friday (day 1 of the 4-day weekend), but we finally escaped that evening for a much-needed date.

We know not what we ate, but we are fairly certain it was some variety of beef. It was delicious.

I'm going to be sad when every date is not a huge adventure. This place has spoiled us.

And a random picture that I think is funny.

• Saturday morning, we headed off to Seoul to meet up with Aggie and family to go see the National Science Museum.

Cool kids

Lunchtime out with kids is like trying to thread a needle while running with the bulls.

• I won't speak for Aggie or her children, but this place was way over Sam and Molly's heads. So crowded. Much whining. We needed a trampoline up in there stat.
• Sunday morning....

• We survived mass with only one walk outside to scare the good behavior back into her.
• And on the way home, we finally decided to pay a visit to the ice skating rink on the side of the road.

• Having never skated outdoors before, it took me a minute to peel my claws out of Steve's arm (poor man was pulling all three of us at times) and regain my balance. After we got over the skating-on-bumpy-ice bit, it was terrific fun!

• They had these nifty boards with blades on the bottoms for kids (also, sleds for rent) and ice picks to push along with. Sheer genius, and Sam loved having the freedom to scoot all over the place on his own. (Molly preferred for me to skate along behind her and give her a push every so often instead of paddling herself.) 

• Sam began to ask us if he could use real skates like the big kids, but Molly's cheeks were already turning purple, so we had to postpone that until next time.

Pure happiness

• Frilly, this place was not. But man alive, I had no idea a plastic tent could be so warm!

The glamorous entrance

skate rental/snack bar/Molly

furnace to warm the plastic tent

• After naps, we met up with friends at (where else?) our favorite kids' cafe. It was starting to snow and we spent all evening there letting the kids run off their endless energy.

Fabulous sand cake that the sweet lady crafted for her adoring fans

Loungin'

Snooooooowwwww!!!!

• The next morning we were greeted with a gorgeous sunrise and all of the snow we have been dreaming about all winter!

• We wasted no time in getting bundled and helping out the guards with their snow-plowing.

After the ice-skating, I guess she feels the need to be pulled about in her own personal chariot. Off to get some groceries!

Steve had just taken his wet gloves upstairs and was bringing back dry gloves to swap out. In the meantime, snow angels could not be made.

I have this exact photo from last year but can't find it yet! Will work on the side-by-side comparison for ya.

• After playing outside in the snow, we came in and had lunch. No matter what I did or wore, I could NOT warm myself up. I was a little sad that our weekend was coming to an end too. Steve said, "Why don't you and Monica go do something? Go to that bath house and warm up." I texted her and we both decided this was a great idea, despite having never been to the bath house before. So off we went. We were given little pink outfits to wear (shorts and shirt set) and after storing our belongings in the lockers, we headed upstairs. After going into the women's side, we were instantly in nakedland. Apparently this was the point at which we were supposed to drop our clothes and wander about in the nude. We saw women chatting naked, eating snacks naked, lying around naked, and talking to their children naked. The American in me was thinking, "this is just so weird. Why is everyone so comfortable like this?" And then I was embarrassed because WE ARE ALL WOMEN and why am *I* so embarrassed of my own body? I wish I could tell you that I suddenly had a burst of confidence and dropped my drawers and strutted my stuff, but my friend Monica has abs (like, visible ones!) so I obviously tried to avoid naked activities. We wandered about and then noticed people going into a big room. Ah! The bath house! We waltzed in and stared. Our first error, apparently. We saw a section where women were laid out on tables getting scrubbed, a section with showers, and plenty of jacuzzi-like pools. As we were taking all of this in, a lady runs up to us and shoos us out the door. She hollers at a Korean employee (clothed) and she hollers at some young girls (clothed) to take us with them. We go with them, because what else could we do? We followed these girls upstairs and they took us to..... the FULLY CLOTHED section of the bath house. Ah, now this was more like it. Except it kinda resembled some sort of FEMA tent after a natural disaster. People were just lying all over the floors napping. There were many non-FEMA-like aspects to this area too. There were fried chicken places and massage chairs and a full-size swimming pool and a kids play place and tvs and a computer cafe. We saw some people going into a small room and we decided we'd just follow them right on in, since everyone was wearing clothes and all! Turns out it was a huge sauna! With hot rocks! So we lay down on these mats and discuss how often we think they sanitize these mats (probably never) and we are laying on these wooden "pillows" and sweating our guts out and pretending it's refreshing and making jokes at all the people who get up to leave ("if you can't take the heat, get out of the sauna! har har har!"). Finally we have had enough and we get up to leave. As we walk out of the super low door, we notice a number above it. "Seventy-one degrees! Huh! I wonder what that is in fahrenheit." Let me just whip out my converter and OH MY GOD IT'S A HUNDRED AND SIXTY DEGREES. After high-fiving over how bad-ass we are for roasting our brains out in the hot rock desert sauna, we decided to sit on the massage chairs (you're welcome, people who used those chairs after us) and get beat up for a few minutes. It was only slightly relaxing and we soon moved on to seeing if there were any more clothed rooms to wander around in. We headed back down to the naked room and decided to do the only semi-clothed activity they had- steaming your lady bits. The lady who ran the place (clothed) told us that steaming helps to "tighten the uterus! clear the skin! lose the weight!" Where do we sign up? We had to strip and put on these weird pink plastic mumu's and then sort of squat over this chair with a hole in the center. Underneath the hole, she placed the herbs and boiling water.

• She told us that if it got too hot, or if we were uncomfortable, she would come turn down the heat. Awesome. So we sit. And sit. And sit. And then it starts to feel as if our inner thighs might be scalding. We call her over and she says,
• Too hot?
• Yes, it's getting really hot. Can you turn it down just a bit?
• Heat is good for the uterus. You must have very cold uterus. You will be fine. You want water?
• Ok? (wtf?)

• So we continued to endure the worst case of swamp ass ever, all to improve our icy cold uteri. It was easily the weirdest thing I've ever done. And you do remember that I have visited a penis cafe, right? And this was weirder. 
• The next day, I tried to sneak over to Monica's house via the parking garage (all of our apartment buildings are connected underground) with the kids (all of us were still in our pajamas) and of course I saw every American that lives here. We finally made it over (after all sorts of embarrassing small talk) and bounced out their energy on the bounce house.

This ended just as well as you're thinking it did

• Then we (I) decorated our stick for Valentine's Day.

• And today, we ended up at a play place that far exceeded our expectations. This play place was inside of a store similar to a Target. You can sign your kids in AND LEAVE THEM THERE while you shop. What a glorious feeling! Worth the seven dollars! We'll be back to give them more of our money in the future for sure.

• If you've hung on this long, my God, go eat some chocolate, you trooper.