A weekly rundown

First of all, I have to ask you, does a cuter Kardashian exist? I think not.

Some might wonder if those are real or not, but those cheeks are 100% all natural. #blessed

This week has been slam-full. Not a single day where we didn't have something going on, and luckily, that has made it pass by fairly quickly. Of course, that is exactly what I wish for, while also wishing for time to stop. Because hormones.

I haven't lugged out the double BOB in quite a while. I've been waiting for Hank to be a little less floppy-necked to use it and he is finally there. So instead of unloading the other double from the back of the car, I rolled the BOB out to the playground up the street. As I was pushing it though, I looked down and felt my heart fly up into my throat. I saw two sets of legs- one set of little tree trunks with tiny shoes on, and the other set barefoot with chunky thighs catching some sun. I had a mini panic attack because this wasn't Sam and Molly. And that's who those little legs and chunky thighs have always belonged to in this stroller. My mama heart cannot fathom that those little legs and tiny shoes are now sitting at a desk in first grade with youth sized shoes on, while the bare feet and chunky thighs have been replaced with size 13 shoes and slim thighs that make her run really really fast. How has time slipped away so quickly? Is this park trip right now going to soon be a blur in my mind too, as I wish for this deployment to hurry up and end? I'm trying so hard not to wish the time away, while also dying a slow death via parental exhaustion.

On Monday evening we had the usual soccer practice and mad rush to get everyone home and bathed and in bed afterwards. I pack Will and Molly a picnic dinner, and make Sam's dinner and set it in the fridge so he can eat when he gets home. While he eats, I bathe Hank, make a bottle, and then take the other three upstairs. I have Molly play with Will while I swaddle and feed Hank and then put him to bed. By then Sam is usually upstairs so he and Molly play while I bathe and get Will into his pajamas. I put Will to bed and then bathe Molly. I try to tidy up upstairs while Sam showers himself and Molly gets into her pajamas. Then we all say prayers and I tuck the big two in. Once that's over with I can run downstairs and start chores and eat dinner and start thinking about going to bed. Ha! My favorite part of the day.

On Tuesday, I picked the kids up from school and took Molly to dance. The boys and I ran a few errands around town while she was there. Since her dance class lets out at dinnertime, we rush home to do dinner, baths, and bed. Lather, rinse, repeat the above.

On Wednesday morning, I had a friend come over for a playdate. The last time she came over, I knocked an entire bottle of soju off the top of the fridge right before she arrived. Of course it shattered into a million tiny green pieces that smelled like fingernail polish remover. So preparing for her to come over was much less stressful this past week. Just a light vacuuming and picking up toys. Way less intense than the shop vac and trying to convince her that I didn't have a major drinking problem at 9am. Wednesday night was AWANA and they did wacky hair and outfit night. The picture stinks but you get the gist of it. Sam went all out wearing Will's clothes and then putting some of his own underwear on top of his head.

I normally make a midweek commissary run while the big two are at AWANA, but I didn't need anything (say what?) so I took the two little guys home, gave them baths, and then loaded their pajama'd selves back into the car and dropped off recycling before picking the big kids up. AWANA doesn't end until 7:30 so that really stresses me out because Hank is normally passed out by 7 with Will and the other two not far behind. As soon as we got home I chucked Will into bed and put Hank to sleep (TOOK FOREVER) before finally bathing Sam and Molly. I was slightly stressed out (ha) and might have frantic-texted Casey too much. (Sorry, Casey!!!! YOU DA BEST.)

On Thursday morning, I dropped the kids off at school and then prepped lunches for Will and myself since we were going to be out til noon. My friend from Korea is leading a Bible study in a town about a half hour from us and I told her I'd do the study with her. Will went to childcare (tears) and I took Hank with me. The study went well and it was very obvious when I picked Will up that he had the time of his life. I've never seen him so excited to show me things, but he led me around the playroom like he's been going there for years. He even did some handprint art, which is the way to my heart. Art from my kids, with their tiny little hands, that I did not have to assist in making. Melting. I got the boys home (fed Will in the car on the way) and changed diapers before putting them down for naps. Before I'd even sat down, it was time to go to the bus stop to get Sam and Molly. After snacks and homework, we headed out to the soccer field for a weeknight game! How exciting! For once we had the chance to watch a game that didn't involve sweating through our eyeballs! It. Felt. AMAZING. The game flew by and Will only tried to fling himself into the on-field action once. Maybe twice. I'll be honest. It's hard to try and film plays for Steve while I'm screaming like a nut and trying to keep an eye on Will and Molly. Hank- forgot about him. Not sure if I was holding him or if he was in the stroller but he made it out alive too. Anyways, all that to say that I did rewatch one of my videos to Steve and noticed Will just toddling around staring at other parents. Also! Sam's team won! They lost their first two games so they were extra pumped over this win.

It probably goes without saying that that was a late night. Everyone and their brother needed a shower after that game. See above for labor intensive shower schedule.

Friday morning came incredibly quickly and after getting the big kids off to school, we came home just long enough to make and eat breakfast before hightailing it back to Sam's school for their 6 week assembly. Recognizing the kids for academics, perfect attendance, conduct, etc. We hauled ASS over there and I slapped some mascara on in the parking lot before busting out the stroller and taking the boys in. They started early and we ended up watching from the wall. Then, as quickly as it started, it was over and the kids were whisked back to class! I gave Sam a hug as he walked back to class and then asked a friend if she could get a picture of me with the other two.

Will was not having it. First thing in the morning, he needs to be outside and running around. So we skipped a Starbucks date with friends and headed to the playground instead. It actually did not feel like the surface of the sun, so we all had a great time before heading home for lunch, naps, etc. Molly rode the bus home to a friend's house, so we got our Sam and headed out for haircuts- just me and my boys. Will has been waking up with some WHACK bedhead, so he was due for a trim. Little old lady took off more than I'd bargained for, but whatever. Maybe we won't have to go back so soon. I can't say I enjoy having him sit on me screaming as I am sprinkled with every tiny hair from his head. Then Sam got his hair cut and wanted a lightening bolt. I knew the barbers at this shop are somewhat elderly, so I prepared him for the fact that it might not happen, don't be disappointed, etc. But then the lady said she'd give it a shot! HAHA I thought ahhh what could go wrong here. What could go wrong was for her to ask me to draw a lightening bolt for her. Which she did. And so I drew one. Terribly. Then she did it.

Or attempted to do it. Whatever. That will grow out soon enough.

She asked him what he thought of it and I cringed, waiting for his ultra honest answer. But luckily he couldn't see it very well with a mirror. So I told her thank you and he'd see it later. Let's get OUTTA HERE. I showed him a picture in the car and he said, "Well it wasn't what I had in mind." But he said he got it because his team's name is Lightening and surely they'll win the game with his lightening bolt hair!

After haircuts, we headed to a froyo shop with friends. They both got honor roll and good conduct so we thought, ah let's reward the little crazies. Will was already on a sugar rush from his barber shop sucker, so he was extra pumped up for some froyo with toppings selected by two first graders... We left there in a sticky haze and headed to go pick up Molly from her friend's house. Tears because why can't she live there. Friday is our pizza night (haha because I'm lazy and frozen pizza is $3), so forget the fact that the boys have now had sugar galore, they are also having pizza for dinner. Bathed them before dinner because of the sticky/hair situation, made pizza, and let them eat before chucking them all swiftly in bed.

Hank let me sleep in til 5:40 this morning, which I am eternally grateful for, while also extremely depressed about because 5:40 should never, on this earth, be considered sleeping in. But 'round these parts it is. So. We hung out til everyone else woke up at 6 and then we started getting ready for Sam's game. We had to get there an hour early today for team pictures. We essentially pack like we're spending a day at the beach. Giant sportsbrella (because gingers), stroller, chairs, snacks, wipes, water bottles, diaper bag, bottles, formula, etc. Good thing these games last for an hour because I'm not sure I could justify the lugging of that much shit down a gravelly non-paved road by myself for a 30 minute game like the little kids play. Sam's lightening bolt haircut worked some luck and they won again! Will was not at all interested in sitting under the umbrella and ate all of his snacks before the game even started so that was a bust. Luckily there was a shaded playground nearby and I basically just jerked my head back and forth between watching Will and Molly play and Sam's game. Hank slept for some of the game, praise the lord, and then he had to listen to me screaming in his ear for the rest of the game. They did so well! And it's surprisingly entertaining! I'd love to focus 100% on the game but I'm clinging to the promise that one day I will.

This lasted about ten whole minutes before they headed for the playground behind us.

Another game where we didn't drown in a puddle of sweat!! WINNING

After lugging everyone/everything back to the car and the house, we made a quick lunch and then attempted naptime/quiet time. That ended FAR too soon for my liking and we were looking for something to do to burn energy during the long afternoon hours. I randomly heard that our town has an art park?? News to me. So we drove to town and checked it out.

Not terribly large or impressive, but it was nice out and it was fun seeing a new side of town we had not explored before. We also saw some red leaves and everyone got REALLY excited about fall. Despite the fact that it was 87* out and we were all sweating. Ha!

The kids had so much fun swinging on the two dinky swings at the art park that we went straight home to go swing on more swings.

We had some friends meet us there to play until the meltdowns didn't stop and we all headed home. Baths, dinner, teeth, BED. I've got the kitchen clean and coffeepot prepped. We'll see if I'm up to the aerobic workout known as "mass" tomorrow morning. Will is high energy at 9am.... Pray for me.

Hank's birth story

Well, I was unsuccessful at keeping him in for an entire two weeks, but I think two days shy of my goal wasn't too shabby. Henry James (Hank) made his grand entrance July 2, 2017, at 5:54 in the morning. Labor started around 10pm the night before, and once again my children are disobeying me before they even exit the womb. I specifically requested that he come on July 1 (because 7-1-17 is a cool birth date) and for labor to start in the morning and for him to be born by lunch so we could start this whole thing off with minimal sleep deprivation (and lunch!). But labor started at the END of the day and lasted all night and we started off with maximum sleep deprivation. Maybe we'll have more luck with the next one.

I KID, I KID.

I never could go to sleep, so Steve went to bed and I bounced around and said Hail Mary's and timed contractions and thought nothing was really happening.

Is it me, or are these charts supposed to do some sort of gradual increase or decrease? I've got the Smoky Mountains look goin on here.

Not helpful

My main goal for this delivery (and the entirety of my "birth plan") was to get an epidural as early as possible. So after about two and a half hours of this random contraction timing, I woke Steve up and told him it was time to go. Then I instantly felt stupid because what if we get there and they send me home? Oh well, we were gonna be safe and maybe sorry. We told my mom we were leaving and drove the two miles to the hospital. Once we were there, we approached the nurses station. "Can we help you?" Um, excuse me, yes, I, uh, I'm in labor?

Yes, killing them with confidence in my active labor phase for sure.

So they took me into a triage room to assess me and check for dilation. Asked me if this was my first. Crap. Surely that means I'm going home. But....

SEVEN!

Seven centimeters! Yeehaw! And also, PLZ GOD TELL ME THERE'S STILL TIME FOR AN EPIDURAL. The anesthesiologist is not a 24/7 kind of dude here at the hospital, so my main concern was him not being around, not answering his phone, not making it in time to administer those life-saving drugs to my spine... But luckily for me, someone else took that fall and I was #3 for deliveries that night, so he was already there and ready to rock and roll.

He finally gave me the juice and then the nurses were kinda like, well you need to get two bags of penicillin in, so peace out, we'll see you in a few hours. So it took me maybe 3 hours to go from nothing to 7cm and then another 5 hours to be "complete." Fine by me- we took a nap (sort of) and waited for everyone to deem me ready. (It's hard to sleep when you know you are actively warping your baby's head into a cone via entering the birth canal. Yes, call me vain but I was worried he'd have cone head from sitting in there for so long waiting on this penicillin to get in!)

Finally it was time to push. That awkward phase where literally everyone is staring into my hooha like a crystal ball and I'm trying not to poop myself. Hank emerged easily (thanks, epidural!) and with the cord wrapped around his neck twice! No worries, he was fine, the nurse even commented that we could jump rope with his umbilical cord (nice mental image, right?) and it wasn't tight at all. He was wide eyed and quiet, taking in every little thing around him. Almost scary quiet. He let out a few cries to signal that he can breathe and speak and whatnot and then just laid there and stared at me. SUCH a sweetie. I counted his fingers and toes quickly, then realized that I literally had about eight ultrasounds where they did that exact thing every time. No matter though, it was a relief to count them in person. He nursed like a champ and for about two and a half hours nonstop. He got his little bath and measurements done before coming back to nurse again.

Thanks to my lady bits' "veteran" status, I had no tears or issues, and once the epidural wore off, I honestly did not feel like I had just given birth. God bless modern medicine.

He looks SO much like baby Sam to me. And one nurse even commented that he has a csection head which I take is code for NOT CONE HEAD so that's a relief.

This was my first time delivering at a military hospital, and it was nice and easy. Definitely no frills. I can't see paying top dollar to go to a special birthing center, when you can be ignored and keep your baby in room with you for free at the Army hospital. Heh. I kid, but in all seriousness, the nurses were great, the doctors did their job, but there was no nursery. Aka no break. The nurses asked us if we'd like to accompany Hank while they did his discharge evaluation. To which we both responded no. This will be our last kid-free break for the forseeable future, we can stand to spend the next 20 minutes apart, thanks.

Back at home, the three amigos were (not so) patiently waiting for their fourth.

They were all so enamored with Hank.

I was honestly expecting Molly to be the one most obsessed with Hank, and while she certainly is wanting to hold him/feed him/mother him constantly, the other two are right on her heels.

reading Hank books

In fact, Will is almost aggressively obsessed with Hank. If he is lying on the floor, Will slaps a two foot radius around him and does whatever he can to make sure he is the only one maintaining eye contact with Hank. He wants eyes on him at all times. Kinda like a mama bear. He leans in for hugs and kisses when he cries and has learned very quickly how to gently pat his head. He enjoys plucking the pacifier from his mouth and tasting it (Will never used a pacifier, but I guess has a newfound interest in them), and observing every diaper change, all the while acting like I am torturing Hank if I let the crying go on longer than ten seconds. It is an unexpected sweet side of Will that I hadn't really seen before. He is going full throttle towards the terrible two's (it starts for my kids at 18 months *shudder*) so it's nice to see him have such a sweet and gentle attitude towards his baby brother.

Sam, of course, is once again rocking the biggest brother role. He holds Hank like an old pro and helps whenever I need him to. He also told me he loves my tiny belly (which LOL); he is obviously the reining favorite child at the moment dishing out compliments like that.

Steve has, once again, been the best. He has handled everything. Literally everything. He takes dirty dishes out of my hands and tells me to go put my feet up. He wakes up for every night feeding so I can pump. He takes Sam fishing, he takes Molly on errands with him (counterproductive for him, always), and he chases Will around the circle. He also has taken it upon himself to do all the laundry and continues bathing all these children every night (THE MOST thankless job in this house). He has come up with dinners on nights when I haven't given it a second thought. He still goes to the gym daily (how, and with what energy, I do not know). And he even tells me I'm pretty when I'm hooked up to a pump at 2am with my saggy empty belly and stretch marks and boobs going like a dairy cow. He's exactly everything a good husband should be, and then some. And I have no clue how I was so lucky to not only snag him, but now four of his beautiful babies.

Steve thinks this is the last birth story this old blog will see. Sam seems to think otherwise. I guess only time will tell. I'm just thankful for another easy birth, healthy baby, and happy family.

I am going to mentally will this baby to stay in for at least two more weeks

Let me just start off this post by saying, I am not ok with this.

I know plenty of people dread the end of pregnancy, and you'd think I'd be "over it" being so pregnant in this humid hell of Louisiana, but y'all- babies are just so EASY when they live IN YOUR BELLY. And I am still getting the house all situated and have not put forth any (ANY!) mental energy thinking about this baby! Besides steering clear of wine and evil donuts, I feel like pregnancy is a flippin' breeze compared to taking care of another child. I have been getting plenty of "Almost there!" "Hang in there! You're so close!" "It will be over soon!" and my first instinct is to be like, AHHHHHHHH SHADDAP THAT CAN'T BE TRUE I'M NOT READY! Instead I'm like, "well yes, that is true, I'll be fine to wait as long as he wants though! Haha!" But in all seriousness, I'm hoping to go to at least 41 weeks with this kid so I can maybe buy some diapers.
Things we have done for Baby #4:

• washed infant carseat and reassembled (have not installed it in the suburban yet because it is gonna throw off the whole carseat configuration and we won't be needing it the moment I deliver and we live 5 minutes from the hospital so NOT A PRIORITY)
• assembled new baby crib (which he won't even use for months so that now seems kinda useless)
• washed swaddle blankets and swaddlemes
• procured brand new breast pump and sterilized the nine bottles that I found on Amazon (just going on a wish and a prayer that those don't contain that poison plastic that all moms avoid because society tells us to)

And.... yeah I think that's about all I've done. I did hit up a few yard sales with Molly this past Saturday in an attempt to find some baby clothes for this kid because he is being born in the opposite season of his male predecessors and I don't really have much for him by way of clothes, but I figure I do lots of laundry, so as long as he's got about 10 onesies, he's good. Plus, it's hot, so he won't need to wear much, right?

Things I need to do for Baby #4:

• buy wine (he needs me to be sane like I need me to be sane)
• buy diapers
• pack a hospital bag or something
• come up with a name

 Nothing major obviously, just some minor details.

We have been hitting up our neighborhood pool so much since we moved in. It's super nice and always feels clean (key for a germaphobe like myself) and Sam and Molly have gotten so comfortable swimming in the short time we've been here, so that has been really nice to see. If I can ever get all of this #*&^!@#) CYS paperwork completed, I can register them for swim lessons in July and we can eliminate hauling puddle jumpers to the pool, but for now, it's nice going and knowing that they're afloat.

Molly has been a bit of a handful lately. I'm really glad my mom is coming in this weekend because I need HELP. I have no clue as to how to effectively discipline her. All I know is that I look forward to bedtime like a marathon runner looks forward to the finish line and I am not only exhausted but just upset with myself for not knowing what to do with her. She needs something and I have no clue what it is. I'm sure adding a baby is not the something she's looking for, but I'm hoping she can bond with him and be a big help and maybe just fine tune that big sister role.

Anything that can be delivered to my front door these days, will be delivered to my front door. I know the neighbors are whispering but OMG I am not lugging this circus out in this heat to peruse the Walmart and see IF we can find what we're looking for. No thanks. Online shopping 4EVA. I got this water table for Will but the big two seemed to take to it more than Will did. It's so funny to listen to the games they come up with.

Sam and Molly share a room here and the closet is pretty bare! So it's kinda been turned into an area where they're allowed to dump the six frillion Legos and not have to pick them up every night. Just close that door! I wouldn't go so far as to say that Willie sleeps better having his own room, but eh, at this point, whatever. I'm so far gone from sleeping through the night anyway, what does it really matter?

Sam is so torn between needing goggles and needing sunglasses at the pool. Cracks me up. He also does a perfect cannonball and an impressive pencil jump. (Molly perfected her cannonball yesterday after only three attempts. She does not approach the belly flop with the same enthusiasm that Sam does though.)

Sam is desperate to get his training wheels off like the other kids on the circle. Steve and I are like, please, it's so hot. Can we put this off until winter.

Speaking of Steve, I gotta brag on the man for a minute. He not only moved us completely down here, doing all of the sweaty, dirty work of hauling boxes and lugging furniture, but he has made time to take Sam fishing multiple times, play catch in the evenings, grilling us dinner literally every night (because if it can't be grilled outside then we are basically ordering pizza), and just whittling down his honey-do list that never shrinks. He assembles it all and does it all and bathes all those kids every night. We both dream about a vacation that we know won't happen for at least another year or two, but he really deserves one. Nothing has come easy, but he's still trying to make the best of things and line things up at work to set himself up for better opportunities in the future. Super proud of my baby daddy, ok?

Sunday best! Will is cracking me up lookin' like a little country club stud in his boat shoes and curly hair and collared shirt. Church on post is at 9, and we tried a church off post this past weekend that felt more "churchy" so I think we might end up there. Plus it starts later, so the morning felt much less hectic.

I am loving these Southern rain storms. It's been so long since I've listened to thunder and heavy rain and tornado sirens. Ahhhh..... sounds like home. We are supposedly getting a tropical storm tomorrow and Thursday, so you know if I ever feel inclined to have a baby early (has never happened before), it will happen then. Stay tuned.

AHEM MOLLY

I saw this on facebook and everyone who commented chose B and can I just say if you choose anything other than A, I am really not sure we can consider each other friends because all of that stuff is so easy to do AFTER YOU'VE SLEPT 8 FULL HOURS AMEN?!

Will just observing the big two playing with the water table. Not exactly full of interest. Also, my ripped cushions on my craigslist chairs have been replaced and we can feel less disgusting sitting outside on them, amen hallelujah.

Sometimes they play so nicely together. Sometimes.

Another Will toy that the bigger two love- BUBBLE MACHINE

Awwwwww shee-ut, you know it's serious when the UPS man has to back the truck up into your yard to make a delivery. (Literally ordered a guest bed online. Oh yes I did. And it came rolled up like a burrito in a box and we'll find out later today if it rolls out and inflates like Amazon says it will. STAY TUNED.)

So many cliffhangers in this post! Can you even stand it?!

You can find us in the pool almost as often as you can find me running to the bathroom or fetching kid snacks or telling someone no. (aka ALL THE TIME)

My squinty-eyed crew at church on Father's Day. Will really needs a haircut, I know. I just haven't found anyone I trust yet to do it. His curls. THOSE CURLS. I can't just let any regular ol' barber take a whack at them. Let's be honest, I'm definitely going to cry when it happens because he's still six months old to me (what else could possibly explain all the shitty sleeping he does?) and the curls are just a baby part of him that I'm not ready to give up. (I'll gladly give up the horrible sleeping though.) It would probably be smart to take care of that before Baby #4 arrives because I doubt extra postpartum hormones are really gonna help the process at all and he will truly end up with a mullet of curls if we go off my mama feelings alone. *sigh* I'll look into it, OKAY.

I have to haul this entire circus with me to my OB appointment tomorrow because I still can't find a sitter so that should be fun. It will likely be tropical storming as well, so I think I'll call that my workout and maybe bribe everyone with Sonic ice cream cones if they're good. I'm hoping to make it to the big city this week sometime to return some stuff at Old Navy and maybe eat at Chick fil A and hit up the Target to buy diapers, but the kids have physicals on Thursday (another step in this endless CYS registration process JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL), so maybe Friday? I seriously cannot believe I will be having a baby soon. Steve and I thought we had a name picked out but then I started expressing doubt over the middle name and that turned into a fight about the first name and one week out and this kid is officially nameless. We are not so brilliant as to come up with something great at the hospital either so, HALP. If you have any good boy names that go with Sam, Molly, and Will, are simple to spell, cannot be confused gender-wise, and are generally plain and normal, shoot them my way.

Off to fine tune the commissary list. I have absolutely no doubts that I will buy a lot of cereal my kids have no business eating but will talk me into anyway. Happy Tuesday, folks.