• Let's start this update with the most exciting event to take place since I last blogged- I am staring at my Christmas cards. They are printed and right beside me and they do not have to cross an ocean this year and they will be mailed out on time. Nay, they will be mailed out EARLY. As soon as I figure out how to print address labels that is, because I am tired of the self-inflicted carpal tunnel. I looked around online at Christmas cards and did not see anything I liked at the price point I was looking for, so my insanity grew just a wee bit more and I designed the whole thing myself. Which is crazy, because a designer I am not. See above where I can't even figure out how to print out address labels. (Sorry folks with the last names starting with R-Z. Things tend to get a little sloppy for y'all.) Anyways, to add a little more crazy into that day, it was the last day that was scheduled to be in the 70s here, so after finding Molly's (SLEEVELESS) Christmas dress that I bought last year in Korea (I'll let you all believe that this is just a case of ultra preparedness), I knew we had to do photos that day OR ELSE. (Or else risk Molly developing hypothermia because I'll be damned if we don't use that dress for Christmas photos!) So the day after we hit up the pumpkin patch, we sorta kinda snuck into the Christmas tree field to do Christmas photos. Of course I am well aware it's still October and that is trespassing, but you have to understand how important Christmas cards are to me. (SO IMPORTANT and I can't even really explain why, but it's just one of those things that I really enjoy obsessing over.) Once the photos were taken and a few were declared "winners" (no thanks at all to Molly's super hard cheese face), I finished up the card and looked around to see who could cheaply print this thing. Well. Naturally I designed this card to be 5x7, not thinking at all that there might need to be some room around the edges so everywhere I looked online, my image was chopped off. I tried to resize it but see above where I am no designer/computer person. In addition to the cropping problem, I also couldn't find anyone to cheaply print these darn things after I put in an entire day designing them! I was going to have to pay just as much to print my own design as I would have paid for a pre-made design (WITH FREE RECIPIENT LABELING OMGOMGOMG). In the middle of hyperventilating, I texted Casey about these all-important issues and she suggested Minuteman Press. (Before I go any further, I'd like to point out that this is not a sponsored post, but it may as well be, because I made out like a bandit and I had to refrain from open mouth kissing the printer because he seriously saved Christmas for me.) This man resized my croptastic 5x7 image and made it fit on a --hold your breath-- 5x7 card and then put my photos on the back AND THEN......

......CLIFFHANGER......

• JK. And then he told me that full color front and back would be 50 cents per card. I about fell out of my chair. After thanking him profusely, I went about stressing out about the quality (or lack thereof) that I would be receiving for 50 cents per card. We went to pick up the cards today and they are awesome. Truly awesome. And I'm not just saying that because I spent hours designing and photographing and obsessing and almost crying over them. I say that because it was more than I was expecting. And it took the man almost no time at all to print these things up (like 3 days, including a weekend!). So, all of that to say, if you are local, go see the nice man in Broomall about your printing needs because he will hook you up. But thanks to Casey, I now know that Minuteman Press is a chain and they are everywhere, so if you encounter a situation where you don't want to spend all your birthday money at minted.com, then I recommend these guys.
• Another side note: Casey's blog is hilarious and I've never enjoyed reading a bumpdate more than I have since she started writing hers. 
• Whew! Ok. Now that I've gotten THAT off my chest, let's move on to other exciting things. I'm still pregnant. (I know what you're thinking, and yes, my life is nothing but nonstop thrills and excitement. Try not to be terribly jealous.) I also found maternity pants that FIT and stay UP and let's just say my outlook on life has changed dramatically. Walking around with your pants falling down is just a recipe for extreme rage. But finding some full-panel leggings/jeans that seem to enjoy sitting on my rounded front just makes me wanna dance. But not too much, because I don't want to encourage any clothing to slide south. When I'm not busy peeing into a solo cup the size of something I drank beer out of in college, I usually spend an average of two minutes talking to an obstetrician that seems to be not at all concerned about my comments of "Is it supposed to feel like the baby will fall out at any given moment? I don't remember feeling that this early before."
• "Oh sure, that's fine. Just try to sit down more throughout the day. See you in two weeks!" Mhmm. Ok then.

Fall colors and a reflection of my baby belly

• We took the kids back to Linvilla (site of apple picking/pumpkin picking/illegal Christmas photo taking) to let the kids play on the playground. They only had a few minutes to play after we picked pumpkins due to it getting dark, and were none too pleased about that. They went NUTS playing there again.

• I thought the playgrounds and mini zoo and mazes would wear them out, but apparently I was wrong. So a few laps up and down the backyard were in order.

• Later that evening (kids were still awake somehow- I do not know how), my MIL read that the International Space Station would be passing over us, so we all paraded out into the front yard in our pj's and saw it! Very cool.

Much professional photographer

WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT! I can practically see the astronauts waving back to us.

• I have no photographic records of what happened on Saturday, so the most we can do is speculate, so I think I'll speculate that we did a fun family-friendly activity and everyone was perfectly behaved. A girl can dream.
• Sunday was mass. Sam was still devastated that no one gave him communion.

• After church, we raked up a small portion of my in-laws' backyard and let the kids jump around in the leaves.

• I could seriously stare into their backyard all day. Our new house has a considerably less desirable view in the backyard. And yes, we are still living with my in-laws. God bless them. We are a three-ring circus that just won't quit. Added bonus- 50% of us leave pee on the toilet seats and sometimes forget to flush #2's.... We are waiting on our kitchen countertops to be installed. Apparently you can't have a sink or a dishwasher or a stove hooked up until the countertops are set. So that has been mildly inconvenient to say the least. It has given us plenty of time to get the rest of the house in order however, so that is much appreciated. The kids are spoiled out of their minds and will probably sink into a deep depression the day we leave. Not to mention Odie, who is still counting on blending into the couch cushions and escaping life with us in a new location.
• So that is life lately here. Off to Target to get Molly some more diapers because ain't nobody got time for getting out of bed to pee at night.

Pumpkin Patch 2015

• Always nice to start off a post with a cute picture of smiling children. I'm sure they were allowed to watch TV after taking this picture, hence the smiles. Because no one smiles too much about going to bed. Still working on educating these two about how awesome sleep is and how taking it for granted and then whining because you're tired is one of the quickest ways to drive me to seeing red.

•  First shipment from Korea! While floors were being installed in the kitchen.

• Hard to see, but our neighbors across the street have a baby swing attached to a huge limb on a tree in their front yard. Sam said he wasn't going to sit in that "baby swing" because you know, he's so big and mature and so NOT a baby (*sob*), but once he saw how high Myer was going, he was begging for a ride. We are lucky in that our new neighbors are very friendly and always around and ready to play. Sometimes that makes getting work on the house a bit slower than we'd like, but the kids are really enjoying playing with their new friends. 

• Here's the bumpdate! I have no clue how far along I am exactly, although I do know with 90% certainty that we've entered the third trimester. I drank some red drank at the OB's office a couple weeks ago and no one has informed me of a raging case of GD, so I feel like I'm all set for eating Halloween candy in the clear. Heartbeat sounds good, I have zero real symptoms of being pregnant, besides that whole tasting acid thing at night, and as my grandmother-in-law so eloquently told me the other day, I sure am getting big! So there's that. 

• Our washer and dryer made it down to the dungeon basement and were plugged in and THEY WORK. Amen and hallelujah! I was a little worried after having let them sit in storage for two years, but they have since been put to work washing everything that somehow didn't get packed into plastic bags before being chucked into boxes and shipped across the world.

• In other exciting news, I finally (FINALLY) got it together enough to go to the DMV (aka the seventh circle of hell) and get myself a Pennsylvania driver's license. My Alabama license expired shortly after we arrived in Korea and I didn't need it there anyway since I had a Korean license, but apparently AL requires you to update your license no matter where in the world you are, so this ahem, RULE FOLLOWER CLERK at the DMV was busting out manuals and reading us what PA says about expired outsider's drivers' licenses ("We don't take too kindly to that 'round here."). Luckily, Army Steve kicked into gear and asked for the publication date to the manual she was reading from. Startled, she fumbled around until she found the date. August 2013. Steve said it was clearly outdated and requested she do more research. Up until that point, her attitude could only be described as "incredibly bitchy" but once Steve asked that one question, she did a complete 180. Suddenly she was very pro-military, pro-family, pro-getting-me-a-license. I liked this new lady. Sadly, the system still showed that AL was saying my license was invalid because apparently there is no slack to be cut for overseas military in that state. (Note to self: write that letter to that congressman about changing that.) Fortunately, someone at the Alabama DMV told her my license was, in fact, valid, and then the newly-helpful clerk did a little paperwork and voila! License. (Note to everyone else: Do not assume that you are allowed to have an expired license due to your spouse's active military status and check your state's laws and regulations regarding this matter so you don't have to bust out your syrupy southern accent to try and persuade the rule followers of the DMV to give you a new license.)

• One day Sam rode his bike into a bush and apparently we both thought this was funny enough to take a picture of before I helped him out. (And this is why I must blog more frequently. Because memory.)

•  Molly is obsessed with talking on my MIL's house phone. Once we see who is calling on the caller ID, we will sometimes let the kids answer. Sam usually answers a telemarketer and says, "Daddy? Is that you? Where are you?" And I'm sure that freaks the telemarketers out enough that they sign us up to be put on the Do Not Call List.

• Molly was chatting my mom up on the phone on this particular night. You would have thought it was a daily activity for her watching her casually talk, laugh, sip her water, eat a cracker, use her hands to explain a story, etc.

• I will eventually do an entire post on our home renovations, but this room was (at the time) the most completed, and thus, the only "safe" room for the kids to hang out in. We cracked open a tub of toys and the silence that was brought on by them rediscovering things that they've played with a hundred times was magical.

• Girlfriend is fabulous and I don't even know where she gets it from because most days I struggle to wear pants with an actual waistband and remember to put on mascara.

• In between the hustle of preschool and home reno and boxes and kitchen install, Sam had the nerve to go and turn five. Five! When we would ask him what he wanted for his birthday, he only asked for three things:
• Chocolate cake (WIF CHOCKWETT FWOSTIN)
• Banoons (And one banoon wif a string so I can hold it wif my hand)
• Pretty flowers to smell (I think he remembers that we gave my MIL flowers for her birthday and that is just a birthday custom. Obvs.
• We tried to fulfill his wishes since they were pretty basic. I really want my kids to understand that the world does not revolve around them, but I never want them to forget that they are the center of my universe and I want them to feel super special on their birthdays.

I'm sure my in-laws are super pumped that we are not only still here, but filling their house with balloons and more babies and pugs and and and....

• Everything except the flowers was bought either at the Dollar Tree or on clearance (because re: redoing kitchen and on a strict budget). I told Steve that we can also say the flowers are for me since I did do something like, 100% of the work on that day 5 years ago. (hehe, wink, wink) Sam's reaction to all of this was so precious and priceless. I would stay up late blowing up "banoons" a hundred times over just to see his face light up like that again. He said thank you no fewer than ten times and really thought he was on Cloud Nine later that evening when family came over and gave him PRESENTS. WHOA.

Smelling those beautiful flowers

Birthday waffle stack

Before mass

Picnic lunch- picnics are one of his favorite things so we HAD to take advantage of the beautiful weather on his birthday and have lunch outdoors.

• After lunch, we drove over to a local park and attended a fall festival. The kids had a blast and burned a TON of energy.

• Possibly their favorite part of the festival was this massive hill, which wasn't part of the festival at all. They ran up and down, rolled around, danced on top to the music, and had races against each other. 

• There were also crates and crates of free pumpkins for the kids to pick out and decorate. Sam did a few simple strokes and called his masterpiece complete. Molly apparently thought the goal was to cover the entire thing in paint and spent quite some time perfecting her gourd. Both are uniquely beautiful and are proudly displayed at home. 

Little man on a big hill

• We couldn't bring ourselves to go home or inside after being out in such beautiful weather, so we drove to another park nearby.

Don't let this peaceful scene deceive you- Molly was on the verge of a pretty epic meltdown. (To be fair, it had been a very busy day with no time to rest!)

 

MUSCLE MAN SAM

Inside this park are homes from the original settlement (uhhhh I forget the dates, but very very long ago....) and people still live there and I'm sure they just LOVE having sassy toddlers throw fits outside their front door.

Deep thoughts. All I could think about was how I wanted to hang a hammock right there and listen to that waterfall forever.

• After coming home and letting Molly nap in the car, Sam and I got to work making the frosting for his cake. (Cake was made after birthday waffles that morning.) He is one of my many quality control experts and I take his opinion very seriously.

• And the finished product:

Ta-da!

Steve took to the Hot Wheels cars with a hammer to let out some frustration complete the look for the cake.

Presents?! Best day ever!!

Cake with fire?! No way, it just keeps getting better!!!

Bucket of cheese balls?!?! Stick a fork in me, I'm done.

• He had such a great day and that made us so happy. I hope he can always find joy in the little things and never forgets how much we love him.
• The next day was (unfortunately) right back to work. We got our household goods shipment delivered! 

• I couldn't even be there to coordinate where the boxes went because I had to photograph the Fire Safety Day at the kids' preschool. So when I came home, this is why our tiny living room looked like this.

• MEN, OHMYGOSH, RIGHT??? In case this picture gives you the same anxiety it gives me, please know that this room is completely cleared out and the only thing left inside is the furniture that belongs there. The floors have been vacuumed and mopped and every other surface has been wiped down with disinfectant. Let's all take a deep breath and try to forget the above image........ 

Found our Korea countdown chain

Made more cake and frosting for Sam's birthday party at preschool (can you tell which cupcake he decorated unassisted? Talk about anxiety.)

Odie really tries to blend into the couch as much as she can and avoid her new reality of over-excited children and their unending energy.

•  Finally took Sam to get a haircut. As the guy was doing his thing, I realized that this is the first haircut he's had that wasn't done by a Korean (or me). The key to keeping him calm is letting him watch monster truck videos on the phone. Easy enough.

Goofy

• Saturday morning was a beautiful one, so we went back to the state park that Molly melted down in the previous weekend and tried again. This time, with a stroller. And Odie.

• I texted my mom and said that I wasn't sure if Odie was terrified or really excited. She had pooped in my in-laws' bathroom the night before (and my FIL stepped in it at 4am!!), and we just so happened to be going in the direction of the vet's office, so I'm sure she saw her little sleepy life flash before her eyes. She seemed noticeably relieved when we arrived at the park and realized we were just taking her for a walk.

She had just gotten flea meds on her back, so a cute bandanna seemed like just the thing to keep the kids' hands off of it and make her look so seasonally stylish.

• State park had us like, whoa.

Cannot go anywhere without her fancy gold purse

So majestic

• Next time I want to take my real camera and snap some shots there. Hang on, leaves!!

• If I'm being honest, I'd have to let you know that I am pretty unimpressed with pro football overall, but when my MIL got the kids these shirts, I knew they had to wear them for game day. And wonder of wonders, the Eagles actually won! So now they'll probably need to wear them every game day because pro football requires lucky charms and millions of dollars and grown men dancing around like fools after being paid to win a "game." But let's not get into my personal feelings on pro football, ok? Just quit asking me, please.

• After dropping the kids off at preschool, Steve and I skedaddled over to our house to make the most of our kid-free time, and decided that our time would be most well spent by re-enacting something from the Beverly Hillbillies and driving onto my in-laws' front lawn with a box spring strapped to the top of our car. We then demonstrated how heavy it was by repeatedly bashing it into the hallway, gouging out part of the hallway ceiling, and finally, by shoving it into a plastic protector and then dropping it on Steve's arm. We are so professional.

• It's so beautiful during the golden hour and it's causing me physical pain to not be out and photographing SOMETHING in it.

•  Marci is so over this shit. "WHEN ARE YOU GUYS MOVING INTO YOUR OWN HOUSE??"