On the 8th day of Christmas...

... I finally recapped Christmas.

Side note: So sad to see everyone taking down decorations already! EVERYONE WAS SO EAGER TO PUT THEM UP BEFORE THANKSGIVING. Christmas lasts until the Epiphany! You know the wise men were still men, right? Aka it took them a minute to figure out where Baby Jesus lay. They did not arrive the night He was born. Had a woman been in that little caravan, they would have likely gotten there sooner and maybe brought a little something for Mary as well - here girl, you look like you need a drink because you just gave birth in a stable and are dealing with postpartum messiness but instead, here are some expensive gifts for you to lug back home with you.

Anyways, now that I got that off my chest, let's move on to Christmas. We put up our dinky little Korea tree in NY, and then promptly took it down two weeks later when we moved out of our apartment. We were lucky enough to have the same movers that helped us move in, help us move out. They were quick and nice and efficient, and best of all, I did not have to actually move anything myself! A real Christmas gift, if I do say so myself. We thought we'd be outta there by the time we picked the kids up from school, but our timelines are always a little skewed, and of course we ended up not leaving until about 7:30. Our sweet landlord helped us move the final boxes out onto the truck and loaded kids in carseats as well. He and his wife have been texting ever since to check on us and make sure we got the mail they sent to us and asking about the kids. I really do miss them and hope to see them again someday soon! We took a very long and slow drive to PA that night since the moving truck could only seem to hit a top speed of 55mph....

On Saturday, we loaded the stuff we had stored in Steve's parents' basement during an ice storm; mostly holiday decorations and a deep freezer and a few other odds and ends, like 47 tubs of kids' clothes that I have meticulously washed and folded and bagged and labeled. I now know better than to part with kid clothes. THAT WAS DUMB, 2013 Jenn. Real dumb. The plan for the next day was to send Steve off to MN with the truck and the kids and I were going to drive down to VA to visit my sweet friend Sam and her kids that I haven't seen in ages, and a few other friends on the way back up. Well, the kids' immune systems had other plans. They were all hacking up a lung and sounding like chain smokers, so we canceled. I did not want to infect anyone and everyone right before Christmas. I was feeling kinda crummy too but then realized that maybe I could help Steve with the move.... We checked the return flight that we had booked months before and there were still seats (imagine that, Fargo to Philly wasn't sold out!) so we went downstairs and asked Steve's mom... Bless her heart, I don't think she had enough coffee in her system to realize exactly what was being asked of her. Because those three for five days equates to A LOT OF WORK. But she did not hesitate in saying yes. So we got to work throwing a bag together for me, writing out what Will's daily schedule/eating looks like, and giving the big kids a speech about how Santa hasn't come yet and we can still cancel this holiday if you don't act like damn saints for your grandmother while we're gone DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME. No one seemed terribly torn up over the fact that I would be absent for a few days and I think I was most sad to leave Will, as I've never been apart from him so long before. I'm actually not sure I've been apart from the other two that long either, but they talk a lot, so it takes away a bit of the sting. Hehe But my BABY. (tears)

Will was fine, of course. Turns out that someone other than me can keep him alive and well. Major blow to my ego. It was definitely nice to get away, even if it was super weird to not have any kids with us. We got about three hours away before we got a phone call that there had been "an incident."

It involved Molly using a handheld vacuum cleaner and sucking her hair up into it. As my MIL is telling me this, my only real concern was her hair. IS IT IN TACT?! She mentioned that she had to cut a small piece out but it wasn't noticeable. (And to be honest, I still haven't located the missing piece, so they did a great job with that.) I assumed that was all, but then she mentioned that the vacuum also hit her in the head and she had a cut. (This could seriously only happen to Molly.) So she sent me a picture of the cut and was inquiring with the neighbor doctor as to whether or not he thinks she needed stitches.

Well. My baby just can't have stitches! Not without me there! Coming on this roadtrip was such a mistake! I should be at home protecting Molly and her beautiful hair from vacuum cleaners! A threat I previously did not know existed!

My MIL took her to a children's hospital in Delaware. Steve was slightly offended that when he needed ten stitches under his eye as a child, that he was taken to the local hospital up the road, while Molly's tiny gash deserved a trip to a special hospital in Delaware. I mean, for real Steve, suck it up, it's just an eye. You have TWO, for cryin' out loud. Poor Molly only has one beautiful blemish-free forehead! It must be preserved!!

After speaking with my nurse friend and Steve and studying the picture we had, we decided that she did not need stitches, despite all of the people that were seeing this wound firsthand saying she did. It just looked so tiny! Stitches are so traumatic for someone who hates needles and doesn't have her mommy with her to comfort her. The ER doc was nice enough and agreed to wash it and apply steristrips, despite the fact that she thought she needed stitches. ("She's a girl. And it's her face." Yes. I see. She also has a personality and is notoriously clumsy and if she has a small scar, she can feel free to make up a cool story about how she got it when she's older.)

Anyways, spoiler alert, it has magically healed and even though I think it will fade away on its own, I still feel a small amount of guilt over whether she'll scar or not (and resent me for not going through with the stitches) so I ordered some Mederma cream to hopefully help it fade even more.

So Steve and I continued on with the trip.

I continued having complete thoughts and sitting in silence and having conversations with my husband and only feeding myself (and occasionally Steve because TEN AND TWO, safety first!) and it was so wonderful. Yes, we were going slower than molasses in the winter, but we were together and had so much time to just talk. It was wonderful. The first time in over six years that we've had that much time to ourselves without kids. If it hadn't been for all the not-sleeping and constant driving and heavy lifting and moving, it would have felt like a vacation! Maybe in another six years or so we'll get around to that.

The first night, we stopped short of Chicago, and it was frickin' freezin'! I got hotel coffee just to warm my hands up. I can't remember the last time I slept so hard. What is it about those king size hotel beds? They are so comfortable despite my germaphobic tendencies. The next night we had made it to MN. We stopped in a town about 45 minutes away because there are no hotels in the town we were headed to, and it just seemed like a good stopping point. We hit up McDonalds for a quick breakfast the next morning. As if Steve wasn't ready to fall in love with MN already, the decor in the McDonalds alone really sealed the deal for him.

Fish tables, camo-clad people everywhere, NICE people everywhere, American flags, etc. It's like he was born in the wrong state. After breakfast, we started on to our final destination.

Steve is pretending to be the pitchfork farmer from American Gothic, he's not actually mad. And I'm not actually drunk.

We met Rick's dad and wife at our new house and they were still finishing up some parts of it. (We were buying the house from them and they were renovating it before we arrived.) They had had quite a few farm-related catastrophes over the past couple weeks and were not as far along as they'd hoped they'd be when we arrived. Luckily there was plenty of space for us to move things in, and we also had to go buy a refrigerator in town. We stayed plenty busy. The next day we moved the rest of the stuff off the truck. I meant to take a picture of the empty truck, but apparently got excited and only took a picture of an almost-empty truck.

One last morning of sorting and putting things away and Rick's dad dropped us off at the Fargo airport. And look who we got to sit in front of!!

A layover in Chicago at Christmastime- I'm not even mad.

You know, traveling without children is actually VERY NICE. No one to worry about/feed/potty/entertain except yourself. A delay? Who cares? Let's go grab coffee and leisurely walk around the airport! I cannot express how easy and nice it was. SO NICE. VERY NICE. MUCH EASE.

See ya, Chicago! (in a few days. in a car. with a few kids.)

Once we were finally on the last leg home, my brain had time to think about The Next Thing. Not the baby growing in my uterus- that thought won't happen for a few more months at least. The next thing was Christmas! Three days away! Time to get in that jolly mode! Luckily I had gotten every gift off Amazon and had them shipped to my in-laws' house. Unfortunately for my family, I had not even started Christmas shopping. I like to think that they know and understand that I never have (and never will) have my shit together. Maybe one day. In about 19 years or so. We'll see.

Bright and early the next morning we had doctor's appointments! Yay.

Will's ONE YEAR well check (*sob*) where we found out that he is not so well. He had a double ear infection and the doc is concerned about hip dysplasia, so we will need to see an orthopedist in Fargo soon about that. He also still needs his 12 month shots since he could not get them due to being sick. We brought Molly along too because she could not seem to stop hacking up a lung.

She had pneumonia! Falalalaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

We managed to rally despite the circumstances and baked some ill-fated sugar cookies (seriously, sugar cookies are the WORST - to make, not to eat, obviously), decorate the tree, play some dreidel,  and write a letter to Santa.

Omg a crayon

Leave it to a box to entertain everyone

Snuggle time/football

Man, Sam was HOOKED on this game!

Time to "decoration those cookies" as Sam would say

Time to decoration that tree!

I asked Sam what he wanted to write to Santa. He said, "Dear Santa, I would like a remote controlled hovercraft. I would also like a new lego set. And-" Uh, son? It's Christmas Eve. This is not the letter where you ask for things. That ship/sleigh has sailed. This is more like a "thanks for dropping by, have a great night" sort of a note. Wanna say anything like that? "Oh."

What's that? Christmas Eve? Time to get started wrapping some gifts, I guess!

Cursive equals magical, right? Or maybe just illegible.

Sam caught me mid-chug with the milk. I sputtered at him to go back to bed and I don't think he noticed. Then Steve and I stood out on the front steps and chewed up and spit out all the carrots and apples so as to provide some evidence that the reindeer were here. Neighbors already know we are insane so why not.

Christmas breakfast

The kids were overjoyed with everything they received, despite not asking for anything. (And lest that sound holier than thou, they just kinda have no clue that you can ask for things, and they also don't have access to commercials so they have no idea what they should be asking for. I'm trying to keep it this way as long as possible because I'm a control freak, that's why.)

Sam got a nerf football, a karoake machine and a COLLECTION of Raffi CDs (apparently I really pissed off my mom?), a metal Hot Wheels carrying case (that he promptly loaded up with some cars that he lifted from my MIL's house), and a stocking full of winter gear! Yay. Santa brought the boring stuff this year. Luckily for the kids, my MIL stuck a Lego set in there too, and thanks to Dollar Tree, they each got about 10 Smartees, aka little kid sugar crack.
Molly received a little wooden horse stable with horses, a princess dress up set, some stuffed animals, and a stocking full of winter gear! The wool socks were a bigger hit than I anticipated, praise the lord.
Willie got a big ol' light-up music-playin' plastic walker, a soccer ball that also makes noise, and a car dashboard that - you guessed it - also makes noise! We are really lacking sounds at our house. My kids are just so calm and quiet at all times, we feel the need to inject sing-song nursery rhymes and whatnot to really help set the kid mood. Ha!

Trying out her new duds

Nice pic of Steve

Realized I can't handle decorating these things sober

I got to make Christmas dinner this year, and even though it consisted of really simple dishes, it was so tasty!

Last photo as an 11-month-old

No sooner had we wrapped up Christmas and it was time to start prepping for Will's first birthday. Luckily we had gotten some balloons from the Dollar Tree on the 23rd, so at least he'd have the requisite helium birthday balloons. We poorly wrapped his presents and I vowed to make him a cake when I had more energy tomorrow.

"Tomorrow" came darker and earlier than I'd hoped, and I started to realize that I don't really care about first birthdays. It's a great milestone, don't get me wrong. The first year has the biggest learning curve! But there is no real need to have a party. Baby doesn't care and Mama doesn't have the energy to put on some fancy show. So we gave him his gifts and he had a blast playing and soaking up the attention and then Steve and I went and picked out a $6 cake from the grocery store and called it good.

Ball pit was a solid $20 investment - an investment I highly recommend

I get points for remembering to buy a "1" candle though, right?

My sweet BABY!!!

The cake was terrible, as I fully expected, but honestly, this is the most elaborate first birthday party I've thrown yet. Sam ate a cupcake while Steve got called back into work and then promptly threw it up all over the living room rug (a mere six inches from the hardwood floor, I might add too). I bought a cupcake from Publix and split it three ways on Molly's first birthday because Steve was deployed and I was fresh out of shits to give. So a $6 CAKE (an entire miniature cake) and a group of people singing happy birthday is kind of a big deal, y'all.

The next morning, not-so-bright, but definitely very early (kids were up at 430 wtf), we set off for Minnesota. Or at least Illinois- as far as we could get in one day with three kids.

Happy birthdayyyyyyy we're gonna strap you in a carseat for 20 plus hours.

We ended up making it past Chicago and stopping at a hotel just outside of the Wisconsin state line for the night.

Dinner break

We made great time getting to our new home the next day despite some unexpected snow (or should we just always be expecting snow now?). When it came time for dinner, the kids asked where we'd be eating. Hahahahahahaha oh children. There is no restaurant in this town. Where will we be eating? Why the kitchen floor!

The enthusiasm is palpable, isn't it?

Will really knocked it out of the park and pooped at 4:40 the next morning, so that was fun.

And ever since then we've been getting back into our "normal" routine. We've been visiting with our friends and unpacking (furiously at first, but slower now that I'm feeling more put together and less energetic) and although today was supposed to be the first day of school, some overnight snow ended up cancelling school altogether! So we had a play date with our friends and shoveled snow and played outside. Even made a homemade pizza tonight. Freezing but really fun.

Insert witty title here

Some bloggers aspire for multiple posts per week. I feel like a success if I can throw up 2 posts a month. Will naps with some regularity now when the big kids are in school and that is SO NICE, but unfortunately I don't just get to lay around and do whatever the hell I please. Because if that was the case, I'd be blogging a lot more. And eating bon bons. And maybe shaving my legs with more regularity. But I have to do things like laundry and cleaning the house and making grocery lists and researching winter coat$$$$$. That is all anyone is getting this Christmas- cold weather gear. Maybe I'll throw in a sled or something so the kids don't think I'm a complete Grinch, but special $15 mittens that won't fall off their little hands and get lost in the snow means that there is no Barbie Dreamhouse in our future. Back to the biweekly recap- I saw my first car while walking the kids to school one morning.

The Low Rider

Immediately texted the photo to my entire family so we could all marvel over this glorious find.

Going through some of the papers Sam's teachers sent home and I literally laughed out loud when I saw the dog he drew.

He always draws a heart on people's and animals' chests. I think it's so sweet and wonder where he picked that up.

Just another day at the park. These children need a backyard something fierce.

And this little babushka.. 10 months old and 400th percentile in weight and still can't be bothered to sleep through the night. I've tried sleep training this one but it turns out that I really like this one a lot and can't stand listening to him cry (it also doesn't seem to wear him out one bit- it's almost like he's energized by all the screaming). He takes a nice solid nap once we get back from our school drop off walk which allows me to drink an entire cup of reheated coffee and empty the dishwasher. Bless him.

Attempting to destroy Sam's Chutes and Ladders setup

This game was a very good purchase. Sam will set the whole thing up himself and then ask who wants to play. Molly and I usually volunteer but then Will tries to smash it to pieces, so inevitably I have to remove him from the general vicinity of the game. I tell Sam to go ahead and spin for me and move my piece for me too while he's at it. Molly loses interest the minute she hits a chute. So Sam continues spinning and moving pieces "for me" until there's a winner (usually him). Never knew it would be such a great solitary game but it's worked out nicely.

Someone attempted to do her own mascara.....

This was a week where I was inspired to cook. Like something other than the stuff that is in heavy rotation around here. This was obviously met with much resistance and I was left wondering why I wasted half a naptime prepping the food for dinner if I was going to have to work like a dog trying to convince people to eat it. Such a waste. Back to the basics.

Will turned 10 months old and my brain couldn't get it together enough to get a real picture that day. People joke about mom brain and ha ha ha I am so scatterbrained but let me tell you- it is a very real condition and I am suffering from a severe case of it.

Everyone wears SO MUCH SHIT. And our washer can only do tiny half loads because it's one of those really inefficient apartment-style stackable washer-dryer combos so I literally have to do multiple loads of laundry every day. (Not to mention THE DIAPERS.) I just want to put a dresser in the kitchen so I can take the clothes out of the dryer and throw them right into the drawer. There is such a breakdown between getting them out of the dryer and then getting them upstairs and unloaded where they need to go. I threw in a load of diapers today while Steve and the kids were at church and wondered if I passed out on the floor from the fumes, how long would I lie there before someone found me? Our poor landlords are so used to heavy thumps on the floor that they would surely think it was normal. Sam would probably walk in and be like, ugh she's napping. Lazy. Can you open this cheese string for me? Nowwww????

Willie and I dropped the big kids off at school and then made the L-O-N-G drive (not really- only 11 miles, but it took us over an hour) down to the cool part of Brooklyn where Casey lives. She made this awesome quiche and we had mimosas while watching the latest Baby Einstein and catching up on all the gossip. Somehow we text all day (and sometimes all night if both babies are up) and still get together and talk nonstop. I highly recommend everyone have a Casey. But not my Casey because I called dibs on her first. Plz find your own.

In this episode of Art By Sam, he drew himself and Molly walking Odie and Marci. He also repeatedly said, "Look at the details," which I can't help but find hilarious. He sounded out the bottom part which says "I am in Pennsylvania." You probably already knew that but I figured I'd clarify.

Then, shore nuff, we ended up in Pennsylvania. Dreams do come true! We went down to celebrate Sam's "PA birthday" and get our winter stuff out of Steve's parents' basement. My poor children were the only ones wearing fleece jackets and no mittens on the playground and I was starting to look semi-neglectful. Now we are officially prepared.

We went to Linvilla Orchards on Saturday morning for a hayride and to see the pumpkin patch. I thought it would be a madhouse being the weekend of Halloween, but getting there early proved to be a good move!

We saw the animals and played on the playground before calling it a day and going to get lunch at CHICK FIL A!!!!! Happy day all around. Then Sam got to help Steve's mom make his birthday cake.

6!

He modeled this cake after Steve's grooms cake from our wedding. After looking through our wedding albums, he saw the cake and was really taken by it apparently. The strawberries on top were delicious! I support his decision to switch things up!

Molly is so obsessed with Odie. No interest whatsoever in baby dolls or Barbies, but start talking about animals and she is all ears.

We got back on the road Sunday morning and headed home, hoping to beat the traffic. It took us an hour and a half to go 11 miles trying to get out of the city the Friday we left. We were hoping to beat that time by a lot.... and luckily we did! And car naps for everyone!!!!!

Can you see me popping confetti and champagne bottles?!

Monday morning came around- Halloween! Guess who had a note taped to her cabinet for three weeks that said, "HALLOWEEN COSTUMES!"? Yes, that would be me, good guess. And guess who did not round up or order or make (hahahaha) Halloween costumes for anyone? Also me. They were allowed to wear their costumes to school so I had the brilliant idea of having everyone try on their costumes from last year. And lo and behold, they fit! And the angels rejoiced!

After dropping the big kids off at school, I put Will down for a nap only to get a reminder text from my landlord that the window guys would be coming in 30 minutes to replace the front windows in our house. Ahh and here I thought I was going to drink coffee and pat myself on the back for not failing at costumes. Mad dash to clean the house and get everything away from the windows. Will miraculously slept through most of it but when he woke up, the house was freezing!

Make it warmer but please leave that nice open view!

ew I did not even know dried jelly fish skin was a thing

first Halloween!

That evening we went to our friends' house to trick or treat. They live in an actual neighborhood so the trick or treat experience was more authentic there.

HOW CUTE ARE THEY

Gahhhh I can't take these cute Aubies!

I didn't take too many photos while trick-or-treating. Was focusing on making sure no one was hit by a car or wiggled out of the stroller and was on the defense against possible clown strikes. One can't be too careful.

Matching and organizing his candy- never enough Reeses

At some point Casey and Riley and Will and I went to the mall to pick up an order for some winter stuff for Will. Then we stopped at a Shake Shack and it was delicious.

I am half-horrified, half-proud of myself for letting go of my psycho tendencies when it comes to controlling the kids and their food. I can't even tell you how old Sam was when he first ate a french fry. I can, with 1,000% certainty though, tell you that it was nowhere near the vicinity of TEN MONTHS OLD. But since I give Will a bit of everything that we're having, age appropriate or not, he tends to try just about anything. Hopefully this works in favor of him being a more adventurous eater later on down the road. Sam was strictly monitored and is still gagging at broccoli drowned in ranch dressing. (insert my eye rolls here please)

Riding this bike might have been the greatest thing that's happened in Will's life so far. He was in heaven.

We celebrated surviving until Wednesday (or something) by going out to our favorite local place for lunch. We sat right next to the kitchen and Will was mesmerized by all the activity and waitresses flashing him smiles.

My friend has snapchat and showed us the filters. This one is the one that is most likely to not send you into convulsions or give you nightmares. The rest of them made me laugh so hard I actually cried and then the rest were so scary that I cried. If you want to see any of the others, please text me and I will give you nightmare material for the next three months.

Korean bbq..... so messy, so fatty, so friggin delicious.

My blue eyed boy

We are still working on the kimchi peace sign pose. Bless his heart, he doesn't know it's required.

Fully in the kimchi spirit, we went to a gimbap place nearby that makes it fresh while you wait. Obviously we needed something to eat with the leftover KBBQ. I saw this "cinnamon punch" they were selling and it instantly reminded me of the drink they'd give us after every beef and leaf meal. I would give just about anything to go back to Korea. Anyone who thinks Minnesota is far away, please know that I was begging Steve to apply for jobs in Korea so we could move there instead. I'm dead serious. I feel like I'm missing an arm half the time, I'm so lost not living there. I'm thankful that we have such plentiful Korean options here in NYC and now I'm scratching my head as to what we're gonna do about that in breezy ol' MN, but I guess being near our Korean neighbors will ease that a bit.

Our eyes were way bigger than our stomachs- we got three rolls and couldn't even finish one of them.

Beautiful day at the park!

Steve took the kids to church this morning while I stayed home with Will so he could continue his sacred nap schedule. While he still doesn't sleep through the night, the gaps are getting bigger, so I'm really trying to do whatever I can to make sure this keeps happening. I really thought third babies were a bit more go-with-the-flow and not so high maintenance when it comes to sleep but that's what I get for assuming, I suppose....

Now off to wake up Molly from a nap that she violently refused to take for a solid hour. This should be fun... wish me luck!