I smell like brownies and urine, but I totally won today

Whoo y'all. Today was one for the books. I was very happy to put the little stinker to bed, close his door, and do a happy dance. It was, indeed, ONE OF THOSE DAYS.

Everything started out fine- he slept in (sort of), but that was because I kept him up til EIGHT PEE-EM last night. If you're new in town, that is ridiculously late for us. Sam is usually passed out by 6:30 and Steve and I follow suit around 8:30-9. So since there was an ill-timed nap yesterday afternoon (stupid mama never saw a nap she didn't love), he was practically flying around his room last night, rediscovering every single toy that he could possibly launch at my head. I, of course, was lying on the floor and being the best obstacle course and roadway for my son that I could. (Have GOT to remember to purchase some sort of giant pillow for future floor-lying. My giant hips. OUCH.)

Back to today though- Today was the day our lovely FRG was having a bake sale at the PX. I know there are question marks just EXPLODING out of your brains right now. A bake sale? On a Sunday? At the PX? Why? Isn't that a bit of a JV idea? Who wants to buy your homemade crap? Especially when we all know that you bought the pre-made cookie dough at the commissary late last night?

This is not poop on a wire rack.

Well! I will have you know that I had the extreme foresight to purchase boxes of brownie mix a whole TWO DAYS in advance and some mini muffin pans, because I was signed up to bring brownie bites. I even got cute little Valentine's Day bags to put them in. Heh! I'm so on top of things! Except time-management apparently, because the bake sale started at 10am and I was still standing in my kitchen at 9:57. Luckily for me, nothing was ready when I got there, so I didn't appear late at all. I was just someone to vent to about the un-readiness of everything! Whew! I can handle that!

I dropped off my brownie bites and watched our FRG leader arrange them on the table with the other baked goods. It was a lesson in self-control as I held back from placing them the way that I thought looked best.
You can't just scatter them all over the table! Line them up! Arrange them neatly! They are already too close to resembling Cupid's turdlets, there is no need to sacrifice presentation when we're already running late!
But alas, I kept my mouth shut and left. SOMEONE was whining (go figure!) and rubbing his eyes and yawning. Ahh, sounds like the signs of a morning nap to me! Jackpot!

We head home, I change his diaper and put Sam down for a nap. Usually there is resistance to the morning nap. It almost ALWAYS dies down quickly and he passes out, realizing that his screams are worthless. But not today. Today he had the fight in him. Today he battled with me for TWO AND A HALF HOURS STRAIGHT. One of the times I went up there to make sure he hadn't hung himself from his mobile, I walked in and he was lying down with his eyes almost completely closed, but was still yelling. Of course I had gone in there all storm-trooper-style ready to give him the stern "it's NAPTIME, young man" talk, but once I saw that he was lying down, I tried to stop and slowly back my way towards the door. But it was too late. I had been spotted (am very easy to spot these days) and was deemed an appropriate audience to scream for once again. DAMMIT I CAN'T WIN.

Do you have any idea how many of those chocolates I had to eat before I got to this message??

I figured that was probably his last stand since he was already horizontal that time, so it would only be a few more minutes of crying. Except that it wasn't. I finally just went and got him out of bed. First time I have EVER done that. I don't want to send mixed signals to him. Like, Oh if you cry long enough and hard enough, I'll come rescue you from that awful crib. But it was pretty obvious that his crying was not going to cease anytime soon. I fed him lunch and he just chatted away while he ate his cheese, oblivious to the fact that I was SO PISSED at him for not napping. And listening to his crying only made my blood pressure rise, so "naptime" was not even enjoyable or productive! Gah! But it was hard to stay angry at him for long. He is pretty cute.

My plan was to keep him up for the rest of the day. I know, classic rookie mistake, but I figured I could at least get an early bedtime out of him if he didn't nap. We waited until the afternoon to run errands. The mixture of driving on the interstate, having the heat on in the car, and Chris Daughtry playing softly in the background (I KNOW you guys, I finally ponied up and slipped in a new CD! We are saved! For now.), was the recipe for sleep apparently.

We get to Target and NOTHING is waking him up. Rats. He had probably been asleep for all of fifteen minutes. I fiddled around for a minute with different things in the car and then started getting ready to go inside. All I had to do was return one stinkin' item! What an awful day to not have a copilot/babysitter.

So I was a mean mom and woke him up. He was kinda pissed about it, not gonna lie. But once we started walking, he was fine. I tried to make up for waking him up by not browsing at all. We literally went straight to returns and walked back out. That, for me, is unheard of. It was hard too, and I think he was oblivious to my sacrifice. I was under the impression that groggy Sam would get buckled back into his carseat and fall asleep on our drive home. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Sometimes I even crack myself up.

Went to Kroger, got my prenatals filled (I guess, technically, they are just "natals" at this point in the game. We are so far past "pre" that it's not even funny.), and filled up with gas on post.

By the time we got back home, we still had a LOT of time to kill. So we went walking to the playground. Sam doesn't ever want to PLAY on the playground, he just likes walking around the perimeter of it, admiring it from afar if you will, and screeching random obscenities at the dogs we pass in the backyards along the way. It didn't take long for us to turn into popsicles and we headed back inside. Play, play, more play, ignore a tantrum or seven, and realize that it's dinnertime! Yay! After dinner is BED! Mama's most favorite time of the day is now within sight!!! YEEEEEEEHAW!

He was very cooperative eating dinner tonight and I even gave him a special Goldfish treat for correctly pointing to my nose when asked. (It's only a matter of time before I am nominated for some "Mom Of The Year" award, I know.) After eating something like half a box of Chex cereal (in addition to a normal amount of regular food containing some actual nutritional value), I call it quits on his dinnertime and haul him upstairs to change him. Nice timing too as his entire bottom is soaked in urine! Fabulous! I wrestle to get his clothes off of him (since sitting in urine is a HOOT apparently) and he proceeds to pee all over me. Breathe, breathe, breathe, just gotta lotion this kid up and brush his teeth. It won't be long now. He happily gets into bed and I shut the door without so much as a whine from the crib. I. WIN. YES.

Now it's time to have my requisite bowl of Cheerios and text Steve warning him about this extreme winter weather we're having and remind him to stay warm. (Like he isn't already completely aware of the weather situation since he is currently LIVING out in it. But it makes me feel helpful. Sort of.)

Here's to hoping that tomorrow is easier nap-wise and hopefully we won't get any snow. Probably the first time in the history of EVER that I'm wishing against snow, but geez, my honey is going to freeze his hiney off out there. It would be like rootin' for the Russians.