When does it become socially unacceptable to take a child's temp rectally?

So you might have noticed that I gave this ol' blog a little makeover. One of us needs to look so-fresh-and-so-clean, and it sure as hell ain't me today, so there you have it- a cute, clean, hopefully easier-to-read blog.

I have read about how many things seem to go wrong on the homefront once the guys deploy (the Murphy's Law of Deployments or something like that). Washing machines break, cars shut down, water heaters explode, children immediately become possessed by demons, etc. While Steve has not yet deployed, he left to go out in the field for a few weeks. And I think maybe God wants me to have a little taste of Things To Come so that I can be prepared. Hm. I am not really on board with this idea, but apparently I have no say in the matter.

Everything was fine on Sunday. Well except for when Sam threw a very heavy pot lid down on his toe and gashed it open. And then I may or may not have been paying attention while we were holding hands in the hallway and led him straight into a table. Ok so maybe everything was not fine on Sunday. But other than a few incidences, we were all (mostly) fine. Steve was packing and Sam and I were playing and life was normal. Well, then Steve had to go and leave. Bleh.

Sam behaved FAMOUSLY all day yesterday. I have the bruises from constantly pinching myself to prove it. He ate all of the food I put in front of him, he didn't fight me all that much on diaper changes, and we had a play date that went very well. All signs pointed to this being a very easy FTX (for Sam and me, at least). I bathed him, lotioned him up, brushed his teeth, and put him to bed around 6:20pm. He fell asleep so quickly and I went back downstairs thinking, "Oh man! Now I'm really bored! What on earth will I do until bedtime?" Heh. Famous last words.

Sam woke up at 7pm screaming like he had been set on fire. So I went to check on him. His breathing was raspy and congested, so I offered him a drink and then his pacifier, then put him back to bed. As soon as I close the door- more screaming. He probably cried for a good 20 minutes after I put him back to bed. I wish that I could have rocked him to sleep or let him get in bed with me, but the child will have no part in that. He does not snuggle and he DEFINITELY does not co-sleep. So the only other option was to let him figure it out himself, in his crib. He eventually went back to sleep.

Same scenario went down at 8pm. And at 9pm. I took his temp, checked his diaper, made sure he wasn't too warm, gave him more water, attempted to see if he would let me rock him (no), and put him back to bed. At this point, I can see an entire night of this, so I didn't see any point in going to bed at 9, only to wake up an hour later at 10. So I stayed up til 10. (HIGHLY unusual for me) Of course, that was the one hour last night that he did NOT wake up screaming. The rest of the night was like a trip back to the newborn days (FYI: I hated the newborn days.).

Apparently he is sick with something. (You don't have to go telling ME that I'm a genius.) As you might have noticed, I am no doctor, so I have diagnosed him as having a cold. Clear snot, stuffy nose, occasional cough. No big deal. We will wait this one out. Until I took his temp again later and it was 102.4. Have you seen that commercial with the kid who has a 102 temp? Everyone, even the dog, goes, "ONE OH TWO???? NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" Well that was me.

Since we are regulars at the doc's office, I have amassed a nice stockpile of various prescription medications, topical creams, and baby tylenol and ibuprofen. And (and!) I have saved all of the boxes that the little bottles go in so I can reread the directions. After a quick consultation with the box (to make sure the tylenol is still in-date), I give Sam his dosage and hope for the best.

I knew he needed to rest since he didn't sleep much last night, but there are very few activities that will keep Sam seated in one spot for very long. I tried reading him some books, but after we blazed through the fantastic few he always requests, he was back to trying out his legs and sprinting around the house. I thought, "I know! I will let him watch TV! He will be so happy he won't know what to do with himself!" (FYI: The child has only watched a few minutes at a time of the occasional college football game. He has no clue about any kids' shows or movies, but seems momentarily interested if he catches the tv on.) So I sit down on the couch with him and try to find some semi-educational kids' channel. I find Barney. Barney has apparently acquired a stuttering problem in recent years as every other word is cutting out. Or maybe we just have bad cable. So I switch it to cartoons. Like, the old-school cartoons with Tom and Jerry. While not educational at all, it was something I could handle (probably my biggest beef with the stupid kids' shows on air today). But that just freaked him OUT. He wanted nothing to do with these shows and screamed hysterically until I changed the channel (my plan worked! ahahahaha!). So I switched it to something much more soothing- HGTV. Despite touring vacation homes on some exotic island for some exorbitant price, Sam was not impressed and got bored after about three minutes. TV is just not his thing. Can't say I'm sad, because I have made a conscious effort to steer him clear of media since birth, but dang it would be helpful right about now if he would just sit still and WATCH.

Oh you can bet the farm that we are waaaaay over our juice quota for the day.

The only other options to keep him still involved a stroller or a carseat. Since we had no errands to run, we were eying down that double stroller. I ended up meeting a friend to walk for about an hour and a half. Not a big deal since I can always use the exercise and an excuse to gab. It appears that tomorrow we will not have the stroller at our disposal though since there is rain moving in for the next three days. That pretty much blows. We will be prisoners to this house until my mother comes to rescue us. I am literally counting down the HOURS until she arrives to save my sanity. (No rush though, Mom!)

Pray for us? Please? The last thing I want to do tomorrow is drag my sick child out in the rain to see the doctor that cannot move past Sam's orangeness.