Where I attempt to get some sort of blogging momentum started

I realized recently that I have nothing to blog about these days. How many times can I tell you about my children smearing their poop everywhere and my needing to drink a lot of wine at the end of the day? Isn't that what instagram is for, after all? I have no crafts to share (I hope no one snorted coffee all over their keyboard at the thought of me doing a craft), no recipes I've whipped up (although I did feed my family mostly raw chicken last night and ordered pizza before it was even stuck back in the oven to finish cooking), and no funny stories to tell (not any that are internet-appropriate anyway). Life is relatively peaceful, and while that doesn't make for very entertaining blogging around these parts, it does make my life a helluva lot easier.

I was browsing Pinterest recently (it seems to have filled my non-blogging void) and stumbled upon a pin about what to blog about when you're in a blogging rut. I'm going to try a few of her suggestions and see if that doesn't help kickstart some of my blogging juices. In the meantime, does anyone have opinions on her first blogging prompt- a home tour?

First of all, I think a home tour here would take all of 2.5 minutes. We live in a shoebox. Does anyone care to see my messy house? Are you interested in the little Korean quirks? I can attempt to hammer out this post while the kids are at preschool one day so that the house stays clean for more than 5 minutes at a time. Let me know if you want me to show you my house, all MTV Cribs style.

Writer's block is so not cool, Mom!

Psssss --> ((Aggie's home tours are waaaaay more inspiring. I want her to come to Korea. Not only to decorate my house, but to also make her amazing fried rice and African stew and quinoa creations and let her babies play with my babies while we talk about the world's most pressing issues. She is obviously multi-talented. Just one reason I love (and miss!) her so much.))

We're lucky this party is "virtual," otherwise, I would need at least two babysitters and a week to recover.

Since today is hotter than hell and I just got back from the vet (which they tell me is air-conditioned; liars), where I literally had sweat pouring down my back (and my front, if you must know), I figured it was a good time to talk about ice-cold alcoholic drinks. Obviously cold to counteract the heat, and certainly alcoholic to counteract the crazy that is taking two babies and a crazy dog to the vet by myself. (Note to self: Get a vet degree in my spare time so I never have to deal with such foolishness again.) Aside from all of that hoopla, my sweet blog friend Kate is having a cocktail party and we are supposed to share our favorite appetizers and drinks. My favorite drink is wine (duh), but that seems a little too simple, so I decided to share my family's 2010 signature holiday drink. (Yes, we create drinks together during the holidays. What do you do? Bake cookies? Oh sure, that sounds fun. *eye roll*)

I don't know how this hasn't made it to a real recipe card yet, but you can tell I copied down the ingredients in a drunken stupor. There aren't even any directions on this thing, just a recipe list for something else on the back. Wow.

So you take those ingredients (for those who cannot decipher my scribble, that would be: 7 cups water, 3 cups bourbon whiskey (plus a splash or five more), 12 ounces frozen lemonade concentrate, 6 ounces frozen orange juice concentrate, 1.5 cups of sugar, and 2 cups of strong tea) and mix them all together. You will basically need a vat. Or something that looks like a witch's pot. Then you will stir it all together. After it starts smelling like a distillery in your kitchen, you'll need to work on clearing out an enormous spot in your freezer so you can shove this pot o' goodness in there. After sitting in there for a few hours, it should be nice and slushy. (It obviously won't freeze all the way, what with the ridiculous amount of liquor and all, but it will almost get to Sonic-slushy consistency.) Take it out and enjoy! Don't drink it too fast though because you will be druuuuuuuuunnnnnnnk as a skuuuuunnnnnnk!

Now since I went with a redneckish, country drink, I figured it would be almost inappropriate to follow up with something even halfway civilized for an appetizer, so I bring you this.

Behold, Warm and Creamy Bacon Dip

Because you will use crackers/chips/loaves of bread/any available conduit within arm's reach to shovel this warm, gooey goodness into your maw, thus soaking up some of the bourbon slush, you will only be semi-intoxicated, but thoroughly bloated.

Ok, so I cheated. I haven't actually made this yet. (Y'all knew that fancy presentation in the above picture was not consistent with the cooking you usually see on this blog.)

But you can bet your bottom dollar that the second I feel brave enough to go to the commissary and buy a hunk of cream cheese, this will be dubbed "dinner" one night next week.

The recipe (from daisybrand.com) is as follows:

8oz softened cream cheese
2 cups sour cream
3oz cooked bacon, crumbled
2 cups cheddar cheese, shredded
1 cup chopped green onion

All of my favorite ingredients! Surprise!

Bring cream cheese to room temperature. Preheat oven to 400*F. In a bowl (versus your hands, I guess), combine all ingredients. Place in a 1-qt baking dish. Cover. (With foil, I'm assuming. They are pretty vague in their directions.) Heat 25-30 minutes or until hot. Serve with anything that will get this ooey gooey goodness into your mouth, whether that be crackers, chips, bread, your hands, or someone else's hands.

It says it serves 12, but we all know this will probably be good for about 3 people. Especially three drunk people. Which will be you after you taste that bourbon slush. You're welcome!

The post where the South officially disowns me

I have cooked up quite a few things off of Pinterest lately, and thought I would share some of my successes. Ok, and failures too. Because maybe you can avoid my tragic mistakes in the future.

First on the list is foil-pack chicken and broccoli dinner.

This was not only easy, but delicious as well. My only suggestion is to be sure to spray the foil with cooking spray REALLY well so that you don't have any stickage, and to not be skimpy with the Ranch dressing.

Crockpot chili.

I subbed ground chicken for the turkey (healthier!), and never remembered to buy black beans, so only had 2 out of the 3 beans that were called for in this recipe. But it was delicious and filling. The flavor was amazing and even SAM ate it. When he first started eating it, I remember thinking, omg this has to be disgusting, because he usually only eats foods that are devoid of any flavor whatsoever. But he must be evolving, because this had taste! And it was as easy as dumping everything in the crockpot in the morning (after browning the meat) and letting it cook all day! (It says to cook on high for 6-8 hours. That seemed like a little much to me since the meat was already cooked, so I set it on low. Turned out perfectly.)

Granola.

What an appetizing picture, right?? I have had some plain oats in my pantry for the longest time and actually got to CRAVING granola in my yogurt. (I know. Freaky for me to crave healthy things like that.) So I whipped this up one evening and it really was simple. I keep it in an airtight canister. Oh, and I DO NOT let Steve near it anymore. I had no idea those little granola oats could be so powerful.

Quinoa burgers.

Needless to say, mine did not turn out this pretty. Nor did they have this yogurt-y mixture plopped on top of them. This recipe calls for quinoa (pronounced KEEN-wah), and it is basically like rice. Itty bitty balls that cook like rice and can be substituted for rice in virtually any recipe. It is naturally gluten-free, high in protein, and super-easy to make. At least one of those things makes each person in my little family very happy.
The ingredient list for these little burgers sounds kind of odd, but the flavor of the finished product is really great. (You can tell by that last sentence alone that I'm well on my way to becoming a food critic.) The only part that gave me a little trouble (and by a little, I naturally mean, TONS) was the frying portion of the recipe. You see, while I hail from the deep South, I did not grow up in a family that fried things. I'll never tell you a story about "how Mama fried up the best finger-lickin' chicken I ever did taste" because Mama never fried no chicken. While she makes lots of OTHER delicious foods, she was never one to fry anything. And so, I have become fry-stupid by default. (Not to put any BLAME or anything on you, Mama! Just trying to relate the facts here.) So when it came time to "fry" these burgers, I was a wee bit nervous. And let's just say it didn't go so well.
The burger mixture contained raw egg, so I knew that in order to salvage this meal, I needed to figure out a way to cook these burgers so that we wouldn't all experience death by salmonella. So I added a bunch of breadcrumbs to "firm up" the mixture and patted them into burgers and stuck them in the oven. (Note: this makes this recipe gluten-free no more.) Broiling (on low) for ten minutes per side cooked them nicely (although they were a bit drier than the "fried" ones).

Obviously I am awaiting my expulsion from the South thanks to this no-fry confession. And to add insult to injury, my MIL asked me for my cornbread recipe (a WHILE back), and I had to direct her here.

But seriously? I screw up regular bread. Just imagine what I could do to cornbread.

Ultrasounds, a birthday, and crafts, oh my!

So I had my monthly doctor's appointment on my birthday. You think that would have made me exempt from being weighed. But no.
I got the ultrasound "results" from my doctor, and really expected to hear a bunch of nothing. I mean, we're not finding out the sex, we didn't do any of the usual testing for genetic abnormalities, and everything LOOKED to be in place to me. (But I am also no ultrasound technician. I was looking at a brain and thought it was a stomach... So maybe it's a boy?)

You can imagine my surprise when she told me that since the baby was in such a funny position during the ultrasound, that she was not able to see everything she wanted to. They didn't get a shot of the full spine, only bits and pieces at at time, couldn't see kidneys, etc. So she's sending me BACK to the fancy shmancy ultrasound imaging center to get ANOTHER one done. Can you believe it? And right after I wrote that they were too stingy to give me extra ultrasounds during this pregnancy. Heh.

After my appointment, Sam and a friend took me out to lunch at Chick-fil-a, which we have found is the Clarksville Mecca for Moms With Kids Stuck In The House On A Rainy Day. We situated ourselves right between the entrance and the glassed-in play area. Talk about an easy lunch! I actually got to EAT mine! Sam is so occupied at that place. Which means he will also eat without fussing. Score! If only this place wasn't something like thirty minutes from my house! Gah...

After lunch, we headed on back to post and Sam took a nice long nap. Too bad he woke up in a HORRIBLE mood. Couldn't wait for Daddy to get home! And Steve thinks SAM is excited to see him at the end of the day. Ha!

Steve was quite on top of the birthday-game this year. I ribbed him quite a bit about my birthday (or lack thereof) last year and it got him pretty motivated to do something. To clarify, my birthday was not celebrated last year due to the fact that Steve was in BOLC and gone all the live-long day, we were dealing with The Newborn That Never Slept, and the last thing I needed during the Let Me Lose The Baby Weight Already time was cake. So I was quite content that he DIDN'T do anything. The best gift he could have given me would have been sweet SLEEP. And I honestly can't remember if he did or not. He helped a lot, so I will count that and call it good.

But SINCE that time last year, I have made somewhat of a big deal out of that missed birthday to Steve- mainly to get a rise out of him, but also to remind him that I would love to NOT cook dinner on my birthday and that a card would be lovely and appreciated.

So! This year he ordered a cake AND brought me three bouquets of flowers AND gave me a ridiculously funny card. He also took Sam off my hands the minute he got home and let me call my mama while he got Sam ready for bed and played with him. All of this he coordinated for me while he is having the busiest (and most STRESSFUL) week of training out in the field. (Prayers for Steve and his job would be MUCH appreciated please and thank you.)

Also, I actually have made a few things that I've pinned on Pinterest. Believe it or not. I just never take pictures of them! So! To rectify that situation, I took pictures of the Halloween craft I did with Sam,

Those are supposed to be ghosts, ok?

And here it is on our very unfinished picture wall where I will continue to hang these works of art.

and also the Thanksgiving craft we made yesterday.

The hands are obviously mine and Steve's (not Sam's) since Sam will hardly allow us to wipe his hands after a meal, much less PAINT them and hold them completely open and still onto a piece of canvas. I did paint and wrestle his foot on there last night while he was being held hostage in the high chair though. Reluctant little artist.


I've made tons and tons of recipes off of Pinterest, with most of them turning out decently, although I will not recommend freezing the crockpot potato soup because it thaws out looking miiiiiiiighty scary.

Wouldn't you just LOVE a quick and easy recipe for dinner this week?

Well I am here to give it to you! I am no "foodie" and this by no means comes close to gourmet, but when the baby's screaming, your husband is hungry, and all you have is raw chicken and the burning desire to call your main man, Mr. Caesar (as in Little Caesar's), this will do.

Italian Chicken Stirfry (but stirfry sounds Oriental, and this isn't Oriental, it's Italian, so I'm not really sure what to call it. Maybe Italian-Chicken-Pasta-Vegetable-Dinner is more descriptive and appropriate. I'm not really sure. I am starting to think I will never be contacted about writing a cookbook.)

Ingredients:

• boneless, skinless chicken breasts
• some sort of mixed vegetables (I use frozen because I am all about convenience and something about someone else washing and cutting vegetables for me just screams, "BUY ME NOW!")

 

• pasta of your choice
• Kraft Italian Cheese and Herb Cooking Creme

 Begin by boiling pasta. Use the handy-dandy noodle basket I told you about! 

Then brown the chicken.

Next, dump in your veggies and Cooking Creme and mix.

After stirring over heat for a few minutes (until heated through), get your pasta situated in your bowls, it's almost dinnertime!

Spoon out the chicken/veggie mixture over pasta.

And voila! Dinner is served! Meat, vegetables, pasta and sauce! 

This is a 15-minute meal that is sooooooooooo easy. You can't have too many weapons in your Quick Dinner Arsenal. (Also, sorry about my crappy lighting... I realized that this might not look as appetizing as it did in person, but I promise you, it is GOOD.)

You can also substitute (for the chicken) crab meat, imitation crab meat, no meat, beef, pork, you name it- stick it in there and cover it up with this sauce and people will eat it. 

There are other Cooking Cremes out there, and I've tried all of them except Original (because really? How BORING) and they are all great.

The Garlic Cooking Creme goes great with fish and Santa Fe Cooking Creme is great mixed in with brown rice when you're making taco salad (or any other Mexican food).

Scientific fact: People are happier when they aren't hungry. Check out the evidence.

Make this meal for your family and they will be this happy too.

Happy Easter!

Hope your Easter is filled with joy, family, and yummy yummy Reeses eggs....

Also, please send up a prayer that I don't royally screw up Easter dinner due to the ridiculous amounts of both wine and Reeses eggs that I'm currently consuming (with no intentions of stopping...).