Warning: this post is NOT suitable for kids, my grandparents, or anyone that is related to me

Poor, neglected blog. Where did I leave off? Oh yes. I do believe it's time to recap the penis cafe trip.

Now when I posted a picture to instagram about going there, I was laughing through tears and thought it was just the most hilarious day ever. Then after I thought about it later, I am fairly certain that more than one person thought that I went to some erotica place and are slightly horrified at my morals and/or are no longer following me. Let me calm your fears. You see, Korea is really into "themed" cafes. There are dog cafes, Hello Kitty cafes, photography cafes, camping cafes, Kpop cafes, and there is even a sheep cafe. Yes, a cafe with sheep as the main attraction. I didn't say it was normal, I'm just saying that it's normal for Korea.

From the blog myseoulsearching.com- "Opened in 1996, Deulmusae wasn't always a tribute to the male member. In fact, it wasn't until a Buddhist monk visited one day and noted that the restaurant had too much female/cold energy (what we know as yin). He added that the land's vaginal appearance only worsened the conditions. After consideration, the owner decided to balance the energy by incorporating phallic imagery into the restaurant's ceramic ware. Not long after, visitors (mostly of the senior citizen variety) from all over the region began flocking to Deulmusae and soon enough, the place was covered in wood. Literally."

My two favorite neighbors accompanied me on this trip and I don't think I have ever laughed so hard. First of all, we got lost trying to find the place. It is so dang hard to get to places here because most of the navigation apps will only give you bus or train routes. So if you get a physical address and plug it in, it's a toss up as to where you'll actually end up. Unfortunately, we ended up about two hours north of where the cafe actually was. But we didn't know that. So we pulled into a gas station and did our best to convey where we were trying to go. Monica was saying "PENIS" very loudly while Krystel and I sat in the car giggling like 12-year-olds, and the man finally looked like it clicked. He started writing out directions on an envelope. We assumed he was drawing a map. Unfortunately, he was writing directions in Hangul. So... that wasn't helpful. But he switched my friend's GPS to Korean and plugged in the address and sent us on our way! I'm sure he thought we were just big American freaks, and had probably never heard of this place before, but we were thankful for his help!


And sure enough, tucked back in the woods, we found the penis-lined street leading up to this.

Aren't the fall colors here just breath-taking?

Once inside, we became giggly teenagers, laughing and pointing at everything in between taking pictures to send to our husbands.

Yes, that is a penis armchair made out of solid wood.

Naturally we ordered an orgasm (while giggling).

It was easily the nastiest thing we'd ever tasted. I think it was just kahlua with a lemon slice on top. But we got a real kick out of saying things like, "that orgasm wasn't worth what I paid!" or "definitely the worst orgasm I've ever had!" and other such mature things.

Our view while dining:

Hmm, yes, appetizing.

The food was great though. That opinion might be a bit jaded by the fact that we were starving and hopped up on some kahlua, but by that point, it didn't even seem weird that there was a penis on our plates, so who knows.

My friends surprised me with a big ol' bag of birthday goodies while we were there since Steve would be gone for my actual birthday, leaving us no other time to celebrate.

chocolate, scarf, fuzzy socks, chocolate wine (was unaware that was even a thing!), a money tree plant, and a girl who can't even keep her eyes open from laughing so hard

Ah yes, we are a mature bunch of mothers to six kids

They asked if we would leave them a comment as to what we thought about their cafe and where we were from. A testimonial, I suppose. We read some of the reviews on the clipboard from English-speakers and most of them were, "hmm such great food" "nice atmosphere" "beautiful deck". Ours was a collaborative, kahlua-induced effort.

hehe we are 12

As we were walking around (pointing/giggling/taking pictures), the English-speaking gal came up to us and said, "We loved your review very much. Please accept these keychains, normally 5,000 won, for free." Oh yes, now we all have commemorative penis keychains, you betcha.

Yes, we rolled up to the penis cafe in my friend's minivan.

We had such a great time, and having lived in Korea for a while now, thought nothing of going here for a girls day out. More pictures and info here if this wasn't enough for ya.

I'll be back with less pervy content soon, I promise.