Real life- where I curse and post iPhone photos

3.07.2014

Lots of thoughts rattling around in my head lately, but this one has been screaming the loudest. I see this quote on Pinterest, Etsy, Facebook, Instagram, everywhere.

via

Now, I don't want to come across as your typical American, trying to start a fight or create divisions or add any fuel to the so-called "mommy wars", but this quote irks me. Good moms can definitely have sticky floors, messy kitchens, laundry piles, and dirty ovens. (Seriously though, are people out there actually concerned with the state of their ovens? That wasn't even on my radar. It is now.) But good moms can also keep up with laundry, sweep their floors, get pissed off by endless clutter, get tired of stepping on Legos, etc, etc. Basically, good moms can have a clean house too. It doesn't mean the children are any less loved. Maybe the mother is a bit OCD and cannot simply sit and enjoy her children whilst staring at an entire box worth of Chex that has been crushed into the carpet. God knows I can't. I need to clean that shit up. And right now. But I can't vacuum unless I get all the toys off the floor first. Let me put them back into the proper bins because, ya know, God forbid any of the car toys be mixed in with Legos (the horror!), or puzzles pieces not be reunited with their respective boxes. While I'm in Sam's room, let me go ahead and rearrange these diapers and refill the wipes. I should definitely weed through his clothes because I know he's got a size 18mo shirt in here somewhere that needs to be donated, and I don't know who thought that stacking these books HERE was a good idea, because clearly they need to be neatly shelved THERE. I'll just separate some of the baby books from the story books so it looks neater. I haven't dusted in here in quite some time. Let me go get the Pledge. Oh wait, was I vacuuming? I should do that first before the toys reappear into the living room again.

Can you see how living with me is so fun? I'm not always so scatter-brained and concerned with order and neatness. Let's take the past week, for example. We were stuck in our house for a solid WEEK. (If you want the full details of what that can do to a woman, email me and I'll share with you privately. But it's not pretty.) While the children were busy whittling away at my sanity, I was not really giving two shits about the state of the house. Why put all these toys away? I know we'll be stuck inside all day tomorrow- may as well save them the time and hassle of dumping them all out in the morning. But the past few days, the sick fog has lifted. Even the smog has simmered down a bit and we were able to go out. Upon returning home though, I had some problems. Uh, WHO made this MESS?!







Earlier this morning, I had the intense desire to scatter crackers and juice boxes throughout the house and then lock myself in my (equally messy) room. So I just sat around and stared at it for a while. Wondering who was going to clean this mess. Then I realized that since Steve is gone (he's in the field for training), it probably fell on me. Ugh. Being the adult in charge can really have its downsides. (Unless I make the call that we're having cereal for dinner. Then it's awesome.)

First of all, I know the destruction could be worse. Secondly, my children have some weird fascination with taking all of my (clean) undies out of the drawer, stringing them around their necks like scarves, and then taking them all off and throwing them on the floor. Thirdly, when Steve saw the pictures of the destruction (accompanied by a text that sounded something like, "SAVE ME, I'M BEING SWALLOWED ALIVE"), his first reaction was, "You're doing crafts?" Ha. Apparently I should do that more often since that was the take-away from the entire scene of death and destruction.

All of that madness is on top of the laundry that I haven't done all week and dishes in the sink. It makes me twitchy just thinking about it. But since the walls in our house are made of very thin cardstock, I don't do chores during naptime, lest I disturb the sleeping cherubs and have an early end to the peace and quiet. So now I write to you, dear Internet, to tell you that if you are one of those moms who has a messy house, God bless you for being able to look past it all and just be with your kids. I feel like that's almost a talent. And for the moms who just can't be fully present and clear-headed without knowing that everything is in its place? You're doing just fine too. Your kids are watching and learning and probably mimicking your every move. "No MYER the blocks don't go in that bucket! Put them in HE-YUR!"

There's no real resolution to this post, I guess. I'm still in the middle of cleaning my house today, just taking a naptime break to sit on the couch and wonder how I let it go this long without a good scrub. Here's to keeping it real!


18 comments :

  1. I care about the inside of my oven. Also yesterday both of my kids corrected other moms while helping clean up after a play date. The outsiders don't know of all the proper toy classifications and kept trying to put things in the wrong drawers. Neither of them would have it.

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  2. Ohmygosh it's like you wrote FOR me. I am all about a neat (clean) house. I think everyone is happier and things are calmer when it is orderly. We function fine and I am still a good mom. That said we had Snowmaggedon and were stuck in the house Saturday-Wednesday. It was a no holds barred disaster. I ventured out only on Wednesday for more wine because lord have mercy I was OUT and my kids were not making it through the day without my having it. :-)

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  3. That last picture kills me. I'm dead.

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  4. Are those delicious Molly..? HA! I feel the same sometimes. Honestly though, I haven't been able to find a nice balance.

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  5. Your kids crack me up. You are super Mom though, seriously!

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  6. Can completely relate! I am so tired of always having a messy house or having a clean house that is destroyed within minutes. We'll miss these years, we'll miss these years. Right? I just need to keep repeating that to myself! :)

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  7. Every time I see that quote I have to snuff out my desire to write a ranty blog post about it. So, you saved me some trouble :) But yeah, I hate that the implication is if you like having a clean home, somehow that means your kids are totally miserable. Pssh. I'm a MUCH better mom when I can keep things clean. Because if things are tidy, my mind can breathe a little. And if my mind is clear, I'm much better at making sure the kid doesn't accidentally kill himself. And in my experience, live kids are quite a bit better than dead ones.

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  8. Thank you
    Thank you
    Thank you
    It's like I feel they say I am a bad mom because I like things clean and organized.

    Love you Jenn!!

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  9. thank you for showing your house looking like a REAL home (though i totally empathize with how much the clutter/mess/ALL THE TOYS being endless and everywhere). i always feel like i must be terrible because i can never keep our kitchen counter clutter-free or the kiddo's room picked up (or even my husband's side of the room, haha). then i realize i don't often "pop over" to others' houses.

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  10. I can't have a messy house. I clean it multiple times a day and vacuum at least once a day. I get overwhelmed when I see messes and slightly lose my mind.

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  11. Oh Jenn.. sometimes when I read your posts, I feel like we are sitting on a couch having a chit chat session. Like seriously, I feel like I know you and feel your pain so immensely. Except I don't have children that make messes (at least not yet)... I have a husband. He is a grown child. I find myself cleaning up after him ALL THE TIME. In fact you can go into any given room that he was recently in... and there will be a mess. For example, tonight he was in the garage looking for a watch in a box of crap I had recently cleared out of the house. He ended up finding like five or six things he hadn't seen in awhile... so go figure they come back into my house. I found the pile of reclaimed stuff on the buffet in the dining room. What the heck. Cause that is where NONE of that goes. Gahh----so, yah, I feel your pain. (Sorry for the tangent)

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  12. I'm glad I'm not the only one who's house is a disarray all the time!!! The only time my house is put together nicely is if we're having company....which is why I need to know a week in advance so I can start cleaning...lol.

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  13. So I'm not the neatest person... therefore my house wasn't but here is the thing it would drive me crazy but it never really won out for me to really clean but I think that stems from other issues with the house (and totally regretting in this moving process ugh). When we lived in the first apartment I was much better about it and I'm hoping to get in a habit in this one that will continue into a new house. I wish I had a little more OCD tendencies and maybe I can "train" myself into it. Today I need to be unpacking but I'm so tired right now that it won't happen and it is driving me crazy. Oh well. Sorry for the book as a comment haha.

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  14. Girlfriend, I am with you! That it why I was so stressed when C gave up nap because I spend a solid 45 minutes seriously cleaning every day. I can't take a dirty house. When I posted that, everyone said 'take the time to yourself! the dishes will get done eventually!' but no, they won't, unless I do them. So cleaning it is.

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  15. Thank God for your real life take on real life shit. I keep seeing that same post too, and it sorta freaks me out. With child #1 on the way, am I really gonna be a bad mom if I still want the house to be picked up and actually pick it up when I have the chance? I certainly hope not. And if I don't get around to it in the time I would've before baby, then that's fine too. As for the oven, that's absolutely ridiculous! Seriously, love reading your blog, Jen. Hope y'all are well and we can see y'all soon (threw in just a couple y'alls for ya in case you were missing them)!

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  16. Oh I totally understand your pain. I can last about a half day, maybe a full if I have no motivation and then the house has to be cleaned. I can't stand the toys and clutter every where. Not to mention I can not stand stepping on their toys! I actually rolled my ankle the other day on one of Lucas' toys. :( I wish I could just overlook all of that, but I feel more centered and relaxed to enjoy my kids when the house is clean.

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  17. I just had to click on this post, the title alone made me giggle. OH MY GOD. The part of your kids using your underwear as scarves had me cracking up, that is so freaking funny.

    Just A Girl Blog

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  18. I cannot deal with the house being messy. When Bear goes to bed at night I clean and put away the over flow of toys, walker, playmat, etc. and reset everything back where it belongs. Those couple of hours before bed where I am not staring at a messy living room (or where ever else) are like heaven to me. I guess though that I luck out that a marching band could be playing in Bears room during nap time and he wouldn't even stir. This affords me the opportunity to spend at least one of his two nap times cleaning. Or maybe just part of one nap time. I will admit that my mind and the guilt never stops for me. I worry about spending too much time on one thing and not another regardless of what it is.

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