Currently

10.30.2013


  • I have eaten 6 "fun size" Snickers for breakfast (nothing fun about improperly-sized candy).
  • I caught Sam standing next to the counter in mine and Steve's bathroom right before Steve left for work. I got him down and had him say bye to Steve and didn't think twice about it. Later, while brushing my teeth, I came to realize that while I was out talking to Steve, Sam was in the bathroom, smearing Steve's new roll-on eucalyptus deodorant (this is Korea) all over the bristles of my toothbrush. You can't untaste that.
  • Molly and Sam just helped themselves to an entire container of raisins from the pantry. And I didn't stop them.
  • Sam is pushing around a plastic shopping cart full of my (clean) panties.
  • My sweet granddaddy passed away yesterday. I got to visit with him and my grandmother before we flew out of Atlanta, and it is very weird to say goodbye to someone like that while they're still alive. I knew when I was hugging him that I would never see him again. And even though I got my goodbye in and grieved a bit then, it still doesn't make it hurt any less now.
  • Related: I am a very ugly crier. I appear to have been punched in the eyelids multiple times and I have no intentions of venturing out in public until it's time for trunk or treat tonight. (I looked in the mirror earlier and said, "Sweet Moses, MY EYES!" And Sam offered to kiss them for me to make them "all better." That helped.)
  • Even though I just changed a poopy diaper that makes me wonder if Sam ate a bucket of sand yesterday, I'm still on my way to go eat another Snickers.

This is what real life looks like here today- Molly making a hat for the raisin jar, my undies in a shopping cart, pillows that have no home in this closet-less house, Christmas books, and Sam's favorite bucket of toys to empty out onto the floor.

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28 comments :

  1. JenOctober 30, 2013 at 7:32 PM

    I have been trying so hard to stay away from the halloween candy, it is proving to be a challenge.

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  2. stephanieOctober 30, 2013 at 7:36 PM

    I'm so sorry for your loss, eat those snickers and pour a glass of wine! Praying for y'all.

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  3. Lauren PossOctober 30, 2013 at 8:20 PM

    Sandy poop equals either pears or teething! At least in this house. (Unless it really was a bucket of sand... which has happened before.) So sorry about your granddad. I know what you mean about saying goodbyes to someone still alive. My granddad has Alzheimer's and I've had to say goodbye to the man he once was, even though physically he's still around. :(

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  4. Lauren PossOctober 30, 2013 at 8:21 PM

    Sandy poop equals either pears or teething! At least in this house. (Unless it really was a bucket of sand... which has happened before.) So sorry about your granddad. I know what you mean about saying goodbyes to someone still alive. My granddad has Alzheimer's and I've had to say goodbye to the man he once was, even though physically he's still around. :(

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  5. AmandaOctober 30, 2013 at 8:27 PM

    I'm sorry for your loss Jenn. I know what it is like to say goodbye to someone while they are still alive and it is never right or enough. Indulge in those snickers. You deserve it.

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  6. B @ then there was weOctober 30, 2013 at 9:08 PM

    your life looks like ours lately, though my mess-makers are 6.5 and 31, lol. sending good vibes your way during this tough emotional time. i spent time with my grandmother when we went home in june and i just kept freaking out that it could be the last time i see her like that. it's tough being so far from "home" sometimes!

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  7. Rachel RossOctober 30, 2013 at 9:46 PM

    You literally made me laugh out loud and then cry all in about a minutes time. I'm so sorry to hear about your grandfather. That's got to be so hard to be so far away. Hugs!!

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  8. ErinOctober 31, 2013 at 5:46 AM

    We didn't buy any Halloween candy this year, weirdly. (Oh, except the four bags of caramel apple taffy I bought and ate earlier this month...) I'm so sorry about your grandaddy. With half my family in Ireland, I know how hard it is to be so far when something like this happens, and how weird it is. When Noah left for bootcamp, a then-three-year-old Ethan asked, "Mommy, is your heart bloken?" I'm sure Sam will help lots. Molly, too.

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  9. AshleyOctober 31, 2013 at 6:48 AM

    I'm thinking about you being so far away at this time that family is so important!

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  10. AllisonOctober 31, 2013 at 6:50 AM

    My nana died when I was in college, the day after I left for a semester abroad in London. I have never felt more sad or more alone than those first few days there. I ugly cried. I slept. And then I wrote a eulogy for my mom to read at her funeral (even though no one asked me to). It was a way for me to get closure and to make sure she knew how much I loved her.

    I hope that even though you are far away from your family, you are able to find peace in your heart during such a crappy time. I'm really sorry, Jenn.

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  11. AnonymousOctober 31, 2013 at 7:00 AM

    So sorry for your loss!

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  12. Lisa COctober 31, 2013 at 7:23 AM

    I'm sorry for your loss! And there's absolutely nothing fun about fun-sized candy.

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  13. Kathryn BOctober 31, 2013 at 9:59 AM

    That's how my house looks right now :) I am waiting until the trick or treating is over to raid my kids halloween buckets :) We didn't buy any candy because we wouldn't be home to pass it out.
    I am an ugly crier too. I don't know how women can look so good while doing it. Mine all but disappear. :(
    I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather. It's never easy losing someone. *hugs*

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  14. SarahOctober 31, 2013 at 10:24 AM

    I wish I could bring you some soup and a great big hug! Or some fake cheese, whichever you'd prefer. ♥

    ps. I like your wood floors!

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  15. KaraOctober 31, 2013 at 10:35 AM

    I'm sorry about your grandfather. Mine passed away while we were in Okinawa. I said my good-byes before we left, but it wasn't the same. It didn't really hit me until we came home and I saw his grave. Funerals are for a reason.

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  16. ErinOctober 31, 2013 at 10:41 AM

    You know what your home looks like? REAL LIFE. I'm sorry to hear about your Grandfather, it's hard to live this life when you can't be with those you love. You should eat the bag of snickers because fun size totally doesn't count and a bag is only like 1.5 real snickers.

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  17. ChantalOctober 31, 2013 at 11:16 AM

    I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather. It was the same with mine, though he passed away a year and a half after I saw him. He was on the decline then too.

    I'm also an ugly crier. Everything turns red, there's no hiding it.

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  18. Angie R.October 31, 2013 at 6:29 PM

    Sorry about your loss, prayers for your family.

    On another note I LOL'd at Sam and the deodorant!

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  19. KayleeOctober 31, 2013 at 8:17 PM

    Oh the Halloween candy---I told myself I wouldn't eat any, but then it came in the house, and OH MY GOSH. I can't stop. I should just send it all with my husband. That wouldn't be very nice to the kids though, huh? Sorry to hear about your Grandfather, but glad you got to see him.

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  20. MeganOctober 31, 2013 at 9:31 PM

    I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather. It's always tough to live so far from family at these times. ..and how sweet of Sam.

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  21. Alejandra October 31, 2013 at 9:50 PM

    I'm so sorry for your loss! I worry about the same thing when we go to Hawaii.... :/
    I hope you guys had a great Halloween.

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  22. Courtney BNovember 1, 2013 at 5:50 AM

    I'm so sorry about your grandddad!! It's the 2 year mark of my granddad passing away and I still miss him all the time! I wish I could have seen him and my Mia together just once :(
    (and I'm totally an ugly crier! My face swells from my top lip up... top lip, nose, eyes. But my bottom lip stays totally normal. Yeah, UGLY!)

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  23. Samantha {Moody Mama}November 1, 2013 at 6:09 AM

    I'm so sorry about your Granddaddy. It doesn't make it any easier to lose them even if we "know" it is coming.

    Oh and Halloween candy?! Ugh well we bought 2 bags... which we have been eating a little on since we got it then on Halloween we decide not to be here AT ALL for trick or treating time so I now have ALL of that candy left... And after my weigh in at my yearly check up I definitely don't need candy calling my name from the dining room table... I tried to eat something other than candy this morning but I think it is going to win... like when I finish this comment ;) I can start doing better once it is out of the house right?

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  24. TrishNovember 2, 2013 at 7:54 PM

    I'm so sorry about your grandpa. I hope your sweet babies are keeping you happy (when they're not driving you insane, of course)

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  25. Laura DarlingNovember 3, 2013 at 11:53 AM

    At work on Friday morning I ate a king sized Milky Way bar and more fun size Reese's than I can count. Didn't regret that for a second. Yum.

    So sorry to hear about your grandfather. Prayers for you.

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  26. Jenny @ Creatively BloomingNovember 3, 2013 at 8:16 PM

    I'm so sorry to hear about your grandfather. That's got to be so hard being far away from the rest of your family right now.

    I'm right there with you eating candy for breakfast. ....and lunch....and dinner....

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  27. RuthieNovember 4, 2013 at 9:53 AM

    So sorry about your grandfather. Hugs to you.

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  28. erikaNovember 7, 2013 at 7:59 PM

    I'm sorry about your grandpa. :( Big hugs.

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