Guess who's going on a diet?

When was the last time I posted about Molly? A baby book entry? Anyone? Who knows, but the poor kid doesn't get a lot of real estate on this ol' blog like her brother did. We finally went to her 6-month well-baby check today. Only a month late. Not too shabby in my book. The nurse and I took bets on how much she'd weigh. The nurse guessed 23 lbs. I KNEW she was at least 26. She clocked in at 21 lbs and change. I don't know how that lady knows my kid better than me (since I'm the one hauling her up and down the stairs and pushing her in the stroller and carrying her in that carseat that weighs eleventy billion and a half pounds) but she was closer than I was. I might also have a slight tendency to exaggerate. Maybe.

But I'm not joking when I tell you her appointment lasted TWO SOLID HOURS. This was my face most of the time.

I'm glad Sarah saved the day once again and watched Sam for me so I only had to put on a show for one child instead of two. Since we had so much time in there to ourselves, I did a thorough examination on Molly. I usually only see her undressed while I'm giving her a bath (quick!) and when I'm lotioning her up for bed (quicker!) and right before I swaddle her (quickest!), so I don't really take the time to look over every square inch of her chub. But today I did, and I noticed some red patches at the bottom of her back. I assumed it was just a little dry skin, but brought it up to the doctor anyway.

BIG MISTAKE. I hear a list of words that make me scrunch my nose and squint my eyes and audibly say things like, "SHUT UP SHUT UP NO NO NO" to people I just met (like, say, for instance, the doctor).
Words like:

• eczema
• allergies
• gluten
• dairy
• Try eliminating these foods from your diet for a month and see if things improve.

DAMMIT TO HELL I am not ready to give up the milk in my coffee or cheese or real-life chocolate cake or breaded anything. I try consoling myself with the fact that it's only for a month. But the month I'm conducting this little food experiment would be the one month of the year that contains a food holiday. And my birthday. So cake and breaded things will be missed. I guess I will just suck it up and eat more fruit. And by "eat more fruit" I obviously mean drink a lot of wine.

Geez you're cute. And worth it.

This seriously might be the most pictures I have EVER put into one post

Sam's 2nd birthday recap is mostly pictures. What can I say, I bust out my real camera on special occasions. Also, my phone had no more storage so my hands were tied. In short, he ate cookies for breakfast, had lunch at a rest stop on the interstate (nope, we weren't even traveling) with our best playdate buddies, and had a special gluten-free pizza for dinner with some of our favorite folks.

Wake up time!

 

Since I had nothing at the house that could be made into gluten-free, egg-free, nut-free pancakes, I just decided to take the easy way out and let him eat his magical cookies for breakfast, in addition to his usual banana, milk, and Honey Chex.

I got really crazy and made him some hot chocolate in his special mug (an espresso cup from Steve's parents). He is usually trying to get a sip or four of my coffee every morning, so I made him his own special "coffee."

Not sure what to make of this.

Oh. Duh. Obviously this is for making chocolate honey Chex.

Hm. Yum. Good stuff.

Let me see if I can appear to be drinking this, but actually pour it down the front of my shirt instead...

OMG! BALLOONS!!

Oh heyyyyyy!!

Thankful for my (usually) sweet son. Happy birthday to him and happy birthing day to me! We should celebrate with some chocolate, no?

This isn't quiet time. This is my creative expressions time. I will make art out of these flattened gummy bears.

This right here is a pumpkin, in case you were wondering.

For lunch, we took Steve's truck out for a spin and drove down to the Chick-fil-A drive-thru for some grilled nuggets. We then proceeded to set up shop at the Tennessee Welcome Station Rest Area with Aggie and her crew because we are super classy like that. Yep, people stopped and stared and talked. We didn't mind one bit since this turned out to be the most awesome/cheapest/easiest/entertaining birthday party in the history of the world.

Sam usually doesn't get fries, so he's shoveling them into his maw as fast as he can before I notice. Aiden is working on some leftover spaghetti like a champ.

Mom, it tastes better when I rub it on my clothes first. I promise.

Where's MY chicken and pasta?? -Molly

OMG there are really big trucks flying by on the interstate.

AND A HELICOPTER OMG BEST DAY EVER!!!

Two peas in a pod

Aiden is really good about giving out hugs. Sam always looks freaked out when someone comes at him, arms outstretched. After hanging out with Aiden for a while though, and receiving many an awkward hug, Sam is finally coming around and I almost die every time I see this.

Did your heart just melt a little? If it didn't, you might wanna check and see if you have one because that is definitely SWEET. Like, give you the die-ya-bee-tuss sweet.

Watching the interstate traffic

Now get a load of these two.

Get over here you.

Let me just play hard-to-get for a minute while he realizes that stupid Sophie isn't going to kiss back.

Hey girl. What's goin on.

Look at me when I'm talkin' to you, Levi.

Don't even TRY to compete with me in the cheeks department. Hold my hand and tell me that you love me.

Oh nevermind. I'm not interested now that you're paying attention. I'm practicing how to be a woman.

Yeah... my dad says I'm not allowed to date.

Are you trying to... eat my hand? Not so sure where this is headed.

I'm fairly certain I need to keep my clothes on, what with being on the side of a busy interstate and all. Mom???

And reason number four that we should date is that I'd never say ANYTHING about your thighs. Or your cheeks. Or your multiple elbows. Or your back fat. Or the fact that I'm not even sure you have a neck...

 

 

OH NO HE DIDN'T.

Cars, helicopters, and tractors- OH MY!

Our first attempt at a group picture. I love Aiden's expressions.

Sarah and Chris joined us for our special pizza dinner. Sam, of course, didn't want to eat any of the special (gluten free) pizza. He preferred to show Chris his new bath toys. Odie quite literally ate up the attention and showed her appreciation by leaving more than half of her hair on Chris's uniform.

Yum. I love people in uniform. -Odie

This mini bowler hat game was a big, hilarious hit for some reason.

Chris puts it on his head...

... and Sam makes it fall off. Hilarious!

I don't get it. Is anyone going to give me a slice of pizza?

Sam also got an ecard from Steve, which we watched a frillion times and received lots of sweet cards from friends and family. We tried skyping with Steve while we were still at the rest area, but naptime was imminent and the picture quality was bad. So in a gigantically large nutshell, that was Sam's second birthday. Overall, it was a great day. Tiring, but great. The End.

Am I the only person who would pay good money for doctors to make house calls?!

Oh Internet. I wanna get on here and say so many things. But Sam brought home some sort of mad cow disease from the nursery this past weekend at church and he has taken to spreading his snot all over the house (as well as in his hair). By doing so, he has transferred this horrible disease to Molly and myself. So despite STARTING sleep training the other night, we have had to quickly halt those plans because even I am not cruel enough to sleep train a baby that can't breathe out of its nose.

After a night of no sleep, we hauled our sick butts to the allergist's office. Could not find Sam's shoes that morning to save my life. All I could find were these little church shoes that I think call for socks (technically). I skipped the socks. I also said the F word more times that I thought humanly possible in one morning. I must be out to beat old records or something. After screaming and flailing and running out of milk and falling on the concrete in the parking lot and running into a wall and simultaneous crying babies, we arrived at the conclusion that Sam is not allergic to gluten. I know. I'm sure Sarah is so stoked to get all of our special crackers and cereal. He is, however, severely allergic to peanuts and eggs. Like, stuff-can't-be-produced-in-a-facility-that-handles-nuts severe. Ugh. And I thought eliminating eggs would be easy (he won't eat scrambled eggs anyway!). Stupid, sick woman. Eggs are in EVERYTHING. So now I have to completely readjust my shopping strategy for all of his "normal" foods and figure out what he can have now that we've identified these new allergies. (I'M SO EXCITED, in case you can't tell through the computer screen.)

After lunch (he had Cheezits! Best day of his life!), I chucked him in bed, finally got Molly to sleep, and considered taking a nap. But then Molly woke up. Because who needs a nap longer than ten minutes? Now we're just staring at each other, breathing like crazy people out of our mouths.

Maybe I'll get on here soon and tell you about the air show we went to last weekend, or Molly's four-month appointment, or how Sam won't kiss me on the cheek, but will now blow me kisses before he goes to bed (MELTS MY HEART OMG). Maybe. If I ever catch up on sleep and am not constantly in the worst mood of my life. (So.... see ya in a year or two!)

Crappy iPhone photos for you!!

Do I see milk in the background? Yayeeeee!!!!

 Sam is trying to teach Steve the finer points of proper lawn mower maintenance. "Are you sure you refilled the bubbles?"

Sam, sporting his new-to-him basketball shoes. I'm thinking this is not his style...

But there is no denying that they are hilarious on him.

Happy baby