No sleep, allergies, teeth, criminal activity- how's that for a Friday post?

• Bullet-style because that's how we're rolling today. 

 

Hot dogs and macaroni because these kids are living the dream. (Also, completely entertained by barn cats out the window)

• Thank y'all for the support on my post about Steve getting back on active duty. It has been challenging for us in many ways, but I am glad to finally have some forward movement and a plan, however ramshackle it may be.
• Will still refuses to sleep through the night. The night before last, he was up from 2-5am screaming. He was given water, a banana, some ibuprofen for teething, and shushed and patted and tucked in numerous times. (I still laugh-sob at Jenn from 2015 who thought that I just had to make it 4-6 months on broken sleep before I was home free (based off of my experiences with Sam and Molly). At this point I am just planning on not sleeping for the next 12 years because that seems less depressing than counting on sleep in the near future and never getting it.) Yesterday I recommitted my entire life to his nap schedule. One nap a day, after lunch, otherwise we'll be doing something, ANYTHING to keep him awake so he will sleep more at night. Well. Pride goes before the fall and my pride has just gone to take an early morning nap at 8:30 so I suspect I'll be falling down the stairs come 3am tomorrow morning fetching a baby a banana. He has the worst allergies right now with gunk in his eyes and snot pouring down his nose and he seemed pretty pissed that I was not letting him take a nap. He stood in the living room, stared at the wall, and screamed as loudly as he could, for as long as possible. I finally stared at him like, wtf man? WHAT DO YOU WANT. And his eyes were so swollen from allergies that I couldn't bear to keep him awake any longer. Ugh. 

 

I have no fewer than 100 pictures just like this on my phone, and multiple 20 minute slo-mo videos of Will toddling everywhere and slapping the screen. I am actually torn over deleting them or not.

• Steve has allergies now too. Steve actually always has something. Who else needs a friggin root canal two weeks before the Army would give him one for free? I can't blame Steve for his shitty teeth's terrible timing, as he spends more time on his oral hygiene than anyone I've ever known, but good lord. I can only hope and wish and pray that he did not pass on these terrible genetics to his lookalike offspring. But we are going to get dental insurance anyway, just to be safe. I foresee extensive (and expensive) orthodontics work in our future.
• The kids had their parent teacher conferences last week and I was very interested to hear what they had to say. I had been to conferences at their school in NY this past fall and the reviews were downright glowing. I wondered if they had managed to charm their teachers in rural MN the same way in the four months we've been here. The verdict? Meh. While the conferences in NY focused more on who Sam and Molly were and what they brought to the table in a classroom setting (e.g., "Sam's energy and enthusiasm motivates his classmates!" "Molly listens so well and plays so sweetly with her friends.") (also touching on the skills they are proficient in), the conferences in MN were very fact-based and included lots of papers with statistics, not mentioning much of their personalities at all. Not bad, just different. We'll see what the DoD schools are like next year...

 

He was so confused by the gum - why did she give this to me? What am I supposed to do with it? This is terrible, I'm throwing it away, is that ok? I hope she'll give me smarties the next time I get 100%. I don't like gum.

• So remember how someone stole mine and Molly's clothes from the locker room at the pool? Well whoever did it was really stupid because you have to sign in to use the pool and they also have cameras and they saw that a little girl entered the locker room wearing one outfit and left wearing Molly's outfit. So they called the "adult" who was with the child and she tricked them into believing this was all just "one big accident" and she didn't think those looked like her daughter's clothes and she would check and see if somehow, some way, my clothes were "accidentally" scooped up and put in their bags as well. Can you just imagine the optometry bill I am going to have after this much eye rolling? I am practically spraining all of my eye tendons. Anyway, the criminals finally returned our clothes to the fitness center, and since the pool is in the next town over, Steve stopped by while he was passing through to pick it up. Upon checking the contents of the bag though, only my old ratty shirt and leggings were returned- they kept my bra, NEW PANTIES (I cannot even convey how rare it is that I purchase new underwear because it would probably skeeve you out), and nice wool socks! Bastards! I cannot believe the fitness center folks fell for this story that it was all an accident. They kept the only three things I really wanted back. Obviously I will boycott them for the next six weeks until we move. Monica thinks I should file a police report. I can imagine the raid now - cops (both of them) busting down the front door and having the panty-stealing family lie face down on the floor while they rip open dressers in search of my underwear and socks. 
• "Oh yes, I can see why you kept these- so hard to find a years-old, broken-in, black sports bra these days. And the panties are so soft! And look brand new! Obviously the socks have always been air dried- they have retained their shape so well. Ok folks, we understand why you did it, but that still doesn't make it right. I'm gonna have to confiscate these items and you will need to write an official apology letter to the victim because she is actually very offended." 

 

WTF indeed

• Also our neighbor was ranting the other day about her disgust over the cops in our town. (We have two.)
• "They don't walk the beat like cops used to do." 
• Walk the beat? Is that a thing in a town of 800 people? Steve asked if they each do a 12-hour shift, everyday, for their entire lives. 
• "No. I'm actually not sure of their hours at all."
• So... if there is an emergency? 
• "Well you can call their cell. And if they don't pick up, you can try calling their house." 
• And is 911 an answering machine? I can hear it now- "You have reached 9-1-1. We are unable to come to the phone right now. If you meant to call 4-1-1, you dialed the wrong number. If you have an actual emergency, you can try calling Bob on his home phone, or try calling back around 9:30 central time. Thank you. Beeeeeeeep"
• I was thinking we were the victims of a burglary the other night after one of the 2am banana feedings when I couldn't go back to sleep. We had gotten back from a grocery trip to Fargo a few days prior and I had purchased two totes that I planned on using for our move. (We always arrive to our destination and inevitably can't find which box the toilet paper/shower curtain/hand soap is in, so I was going to try and avoid that by putting it all in two totes and keeping it in the car.) Anyways, after Molly's party, I asked Steve where he had put the two totes with the items in them. They were unloaded from the car and placed in the kitchen, I put away the refrigerated items, and then I assumed Steve had put the totes in the basement or in the garage. Except when I asked him about it, he said that he thought I moved them. He looked in the basement and didn't see the totes anywhere. The more I laid awake and thought about it, the angrier I became. Who would steal hand soap? And three loofahs? And cheap shampoo? And plastic totes? Is this some kind of teenage prank? How can I file a police report if I can't remember what day we did any of this? And what will the officer say when I confess that my front door was knowingly left unlocked? RAGE. And then, I suddenly feel very unsafe. Once Steve leaves, everyone in town will know and maybe someone will come do something worse than steal plastic storage totes and loofahs. Then what? THEN WHAT?! 
• Fear not. We located the totes. In the basement. Underneath something else. Case closed.
• I am now officially 7 months pregnant. No one is more surprised by this than me. Most days I do not feel pregnant, although I am attributing my sudden craving for a Coke Zero in the afternoon to this baby (and Will, I guess since he is the cause of the needed caffeine boost). Steve and I take lots of walks now that the temps are above freezing, and I do feel as though I am on the verge of a waddle. Walking just feels VERY HARD. And prior to pregnancy I feel like walking is one of those things I can do all day (so long as the children strapped in the stroller are cooperative). But we got back from a walk yesterday and picked up the kids from the bus stop and I made a beeline for the couch because my feet needed to be UP. Steve was headed to the gym and suggested I just take the kids out for a bike ride. I looked at him with wide eyes - BUT I MIGHT DIE. We settled for some playing in the front yard while our friends came over. Will was finally allowed to crawl around, as our mud yard has somewhat hardened into regular ol' dirt yard and he was in heaven. Filthy as a pig, but so so happy. Nothing a bath before dinner couldn't fix. 

 

Partially frozen (still! Gah!) Detroit Lake