This post leads me to believe that I need an Erin Condren planner. You know, for blogging purposes and such.

Today I have somehow magically convinced both children to nap at the same time. I know, I have no clue how it happened either. Yet, here I am again with almost nothing to write about...

I could tell you about how I got pooped on yesterday morning at 5am, or how I asked Steve to buy turkey breakfast sausage and he came back with hotdogs (reason #98512377896432 to not let a man do the grocery shopping), or how we went to Nashville on Saturday and it was so exhausting that I never want to leave my house "for fun" ever again... But all of that sounds pretty boring to me.

So I just googled "what to blog about." (No, really. I did.) Here were some of the tips I found.

- Blog some rhetorical questions that are on your mind.

Hm. Ok. Why did Ft Campbell just build a gigantor $22 million commissary, yet didn't create wider aisles? You rearranged the ENTIRE store, so now people are parking in the middle of the aisles like defunct tractor trailers because they can't find anything and we are still encountering the most major of grocery buggy traffic jams. GAH. (Side note: How many of you say "buggy" and how many say "cart"?)

- Share something that you do to make your work easier.

I started using my dishwasher again. (How very 2012 of me, huh?) Thanks to some lovely instagram friends of mine who directed me to the awesomeness of Lemi-Shine, I'm back to the 21st century here, folks. The wonder and awe that I still get from throwing dishes in a machine and having them pop out clean? It's worth the three dollars for that little 1970s bottle of awesomeness. 

I would prefer to slit my wrists before washing a cheese grater by hand. Which is usually what happens when I wash it by hand anyway.

- Recruit a fictitious or All Star team to join you on a project or adventure and write about how they'd compliment you and each other.

This one is easy. First round picks would be Elaine, baby-whisperer-extraordinaire, to be our live-in child-question-answerer; Paula Deen, to cook some meals; Jillian Michaels, to make me look like I don't eat Paula's meals; my mom, because who doesn't want their mom around?; Stacy and Clinton, to make me look like I don't experience poop and puke on the regular; and last, but not least, Martha Stewart, to keep my house looking clean and organized, yet decorated tastefully for every occasion. I guess I'll have to have someone else come on board too to keep an eye on her, what with her being a felon and all. Maybe Big?

- What's the most annoying thing you have to do as part of your daily routine and how could technology fix it?  Be as detailed on how the product would function as possible.

Oh man, I could list a frillion different answers for this question. But I'd say that there is a three-way-tie between making dinner, pumping milk, and changing diapers.

This theoretical machine (which is me in real life, in case that's not glaringly obvious), would never forget to thaw anything out for dinner. It would not let time slip away during the day and cause us to eat dinner at 7. It would also figure out a way to occupy the children while it cooked, because I'll be busy sipping my wine.

The machine would also need to produce breastmilk. I know this is asking a lot, but again, this gives me time to sip some wine and not think about the dinner that I'm not making.

And changing diapers- do I even need to give reasons for this one? There's the poop, the getting pooped on, and dealing with screamy people who apparently enjoy sitting in their own poop rather than being in a clean diaper. I'm not grossed out by it, but I would just love to avoid it forever and ever amen.

Reason #49871235736 to wear yoga pants

- Read something in a totally different genre like philosophy or history and try and put it in the context of your job.

AHAHAHAHAHA. Next.

- Comment on two seemingly juxtaposed approaches to success in your area? Why does each work? Are they really mutually exclusive?

Say what?

- Write about someone or something that you appreciate.

Wine, I appreciate you. Yesterday was just, ugh, not enjoyable. But there you were, waiting all day long for me in the fridge with your cheap little screw top, as if to say, "You don't even need to be completely sober or have a special tool to open me up. I'm $5 of awesome." And you WERE. Thanks. I had to dump 5.5oz of milk afterwards due to my test strips telling me that Molly might be drinking her own bottle of Riesling, but it was so totally worth it.

What do you blog about when there's nothing going on?

*Questions taken from here.*