To be clear, y'all know there isn't going to be anything "quick" about these quick-takes, right? Ok, good. Moving on.
The Good:
1. We had the most pleasant drive down to south Alabama last Saturday. The kids were PERFECT. And that NEVER HAPPENS. I think we might have been bracing ourselves for a drive like the
PA trip of 2012, so basically, they could have been screaming like banshees and we could have picked up 12 hitch-hikers and it would have still been an easier trip than the trip to PA. So I guess this is not saying much at all. But there wasn't a ton of wailing and gnashing of teeth, so we call that a success around these parts.
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| This is how you change diapers. |
2. My mom had wine in her fridge.
3. Molly didn't sleep horribly the first night (although she didn't sleep straight through either, so... meh).
4. Steve was able to successfully fill Sam's prescription for Epi-pens so that my parents could stab him in the thigh if necessary. We have good insurance, so the Epi-pens cost $12 instead of the $315 the pharmacist quoted Steve.
5. I left my camera at home. Originally, I thought this would be categorized as "ugly" but it was actually really nice. No worries about my camera getting sand in it or scratched or lost. No lugging that thing around. I just had my phone. No guilt for having crappy vacation pictures.
The Great:
1. WE LEFT THE KIDS WITH MY PARENTS AND FLEW LIKE THE WIND TO THE BEACH!!!!! (I cannot put enough emphasis on how great that is. The screaming caps-lock doesn't quite capture it all the way.)
2. We were on our own schedule (read: we did everything later than we normally would) and laughed at the frantic moms and dads that were freaking out over naptimes and feeding schedules and if the sun was too bright, etc.
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| Drunk off wine. Or shrimp. Maybe both. |
3. We drank fruity drinks and wine. Although, I must admit that I did not drink nearly as much as I thought I would. The first day there, I practically killed a bottle all by myself. Then I took a 3-hour nap. Steve says the wine caused the nap, but I just think that I was TIRED (guess who got up with Molly the night before?) and I don't do 1-hour naps anyway. Talk about a waste. I would have slept longer than 3 hours, but
someone was very insistent that we eat dinner, so I had to get up.
4. I ate more shrimp than is probably healthy, but the scale says that I lost weight. So..... new shrimp diet?
5. My kids apparently behaved like little angels while we were gone and only started getting whiny/misbehaving when we arrived back home. Of course.
6. WE HAD ENOUGH MILK!!!! Since my supply took a nosedive way back when this summer, my frozen stash was kinda weak-sauce, so I was worried that Molly would run out of food while we were gone. I left my parents with some water and formula, JUST IN CASE. But we got back (with 20 bags of milk) just in time. My mom also single-handedly eradicated Molly's raging case of cradle-cap and taught her how to sit up unassisted.
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| Moo. |
7. Time away from the kids felt REALLY REALLY GOOD. I love them to death, but oh my word, it was so nice to have some one-on-one time with Steve and not have to worry about who needs a new diaper, if we even HAVE any clean diapers, food, pumping, allergies, yadda yadda. I knew they were in capable hands and that they were happy.
The Ugly:
1. It rained most of the time we were at the beach. This would
seem ugly, but I think it was a blessing in disguise. Had the weather been super-nice, I would have over-planned the hell out of this trip and we would have come back exhausted. The bad weather gave us a chance to just chill out and enjoy each other's company.
2. We stayed at a resort (*deal of the century*) but spent our last night there lying in bed, watching Teen Mom. We get about six channels here at home, so we caught up on the white-trash drama we used to watch in college. Sadly, not much has changed with these folks. Everyone is still desperate and stupid. When we turned off the TV, we felt like the greatest parents ever though.
3. A lady got out of the hot tub while we were still sitting in it and I immediately said, "Oh I miss Molly's thighs."
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| I am a firm believer that any bathing suit can be offensive if the right (wrong?) person is wearing it. |
4. My hair. The frizz was out of control most of the time we were down there.
101 in 1,001 items checked off:
1. On our way back to my parents' house, Steve casually said, "Do you wanna go shooting?" Sure. Why not? Let the record show that I have never fired a gun before. I figured it would be very easy and fun. Almost like shooting a squirt gun. They give me this little "girly" gun and talk about how easy this gun is to use. Steve gets a big manly gun and it is very scary-looking. I stick with my girly gun and WHOA did I scream when Steve shot the first round. (To be fair, the casing flew back and hit me in the head, catching me off-guard... so... there.) After I shot my first round, I was thankful I did not request a shotgun because I'm positive I would have flown on my back and shot the ceiling. Little gun had some kick to it! (Steve agreed after firing it again later. Am not exaggerating.) Since I am an extreme novice when it comes to using deadly force, Steve would have me fire a shot, make sure I had my finger off the trigger, put the safety on, set the gun down, and check out the target. This made firing go v-e-r-y s-l-o-w-l-y, as you can imagine. (Can you tell the man runs ranges for a living?) After the first few times of doing that, he encouraged me to just keep shooting. Get my sights lined back up and shoot again.
You know that saying, "Guns don't hurt people; people hurt people." Yes. But no. This gun turned on me. It hurt me. After firing a few rounds back-to-back, I felt the gun HIT me. Like, a whap on the hand. I wiggled it for a second and went back to firing. After finishing up those last two shots, I looked down at my hand and IT WAS COVERED IN LOTS OF BLOOD. Apparently, being the novice gun-shooting idiot that I am, I pulled my left hand up closer to the top of the gun at some point while firing, and when the gun kicked back, it flew straight into my poorly-positioned thumb. So yeowch. I had to take my bloody hands out to the gun-people and explain to them that my husband did not shoot me, but that I had done this to myself. (OH THE SHAME.) They gave me a bandaid and only charged me half price because I "spent most of my shooting time injured." Yes. How lame. After seeking the medical attention of the bathroom sink and its handsoap, I took my wounded butt back into the range where Steve was patiently waiting. He insisted that I shoot his gun. Not as much kick, easier to handle, blah blah. But no. I had already developed a healthy fear of guns (in 5 minutes!) and only wanted to watch. So Steve fired off the rest of our ammo and we called it a day.
On the plus side, the eight shots that I fired were all kill shots, with the exception of a groin shot. Which, let's face it, is basically a kill shot. So I'm confident that I can protect myself in the face of a very patient and non-moving intruder. "You just stay right there while I stick my bullets in this whatchamacallit and then figure out where the safety button is. This isn't like the one I shot that one day at the range. Now let me get my other hand outta the way. You wouldn't believe what happened the last time I shot one of these. Whoo boy, my stupid thumb got in the way of this gun ya see, and I swear I almost passed out from the blood loss. Kinda like what's fixin' to happen to you." *BAM!* Right in the baby-maker. See, I would distract him with my incessant babbling and then I would show no mercy. You can all count this as your self-defense class for the week. (#19)
2. We went to this very strange restaurant called the Waffle Shoppe for breakfast thanks to the recommendation of my parents. It was oddly decorated with spray-painted waves and dolphins and yarn-like tapestries of Greek(?) women.
There were a few other random holographic pictures scattered throughout, and at the checkout, they sold trinkets and sunscreen that had to have gone out of date at least ten years ago. The first morning, our server had on bright blue eyeshadow. On our way back to the hotel, I told Steve that this is where our 100% tip should go. He agreed. Then he said that he was so happy to help this woman quit dancing. I don't know if she was an exotic dancer or just made bad makeup choices, but we ended up not seeing her the next morning and another girl got the 100% tip. It wasn't much, but having worked crappy waitressing jobs in my day, I know how much a $20 tip means. If nothing else, a definite mood booster. And maybe she wouldn't have to dance as long that night. (#16)
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| Do you see the weird tapestries behind Steve? |
3. Before heading down to the beach, I had googled "things to do in Panama City Beach." There was a winery listed that caught my eye.
Check it out if you have a minute. If you don't have a minute, I don't know why you choose to read this blog, because there is nothing quick about it. ANYWAY, the wine is all fermented fruit, not fermented grapes. We had carrot wine, orange wine with coffee beans added, guava wine, kiwi wine, key lime wine, and I could go on and on because we basically sampled every wine they had. (The man giving the tasting was really intent on making us try the "award-winning" wines, like the blueberry. Oh yum.) I originally wanted to go because I thought that carrot wine was probably something worth tasting, and I thought it would give us a couple laughs. But Steve legitimately enjoyed every last one he tasted. Comments like, "So refreshing!' "Delicious!" "This would be great in the summer!" were popping out of his mouth left and right. I was making comments too, but they were mostly, "Oh my gaw... THAT'S interesting.." "Ummm... good..?" "Yeah that's different..." (#42)
4. So in case carrot wine doesn't count as my trying a new cocktail, I got a "sunshine rum punch" drink at the bar. It went down easy, don't worry. (#11)
5. And in other news, we're picking up our headboard on Sunday. But I don't wanna write an entire post about a headboard, so I'm gonna let this leech on to my bucket list checklist. (#8)
Notice how there were more than five quick-takes under "The Great" and only four under "The Ugly." Also, none of them were quick. Sorry for the lies.
