Bumpdate

Apparently I am 25 weeks and change into baby #4's pregnancy and I couldn't be more oblivious. I am actually struggling to remember what most people write in a bumpdate. And why anyone would want to read it. (Casey's awesomely hilarious bumpdates not included in this generalization.) Do you care that my baby is the size of a cantaloupe? Mostly I'm wondering if this is one of those colossal Walmart GMO-enhanced cantaloupes or like an overpriced organic tiny baby cantaloupe from Whole Foods. Someone please chime in with answers. I kinda wish the OB office had a life-size model of how big baby is for each appointment. It would sure make visualizing this tiny person easier than picturing a human cantaloupe.

Speaking of OBs, I love mine. I typically seek out female OBs because I feel like they "get it" more. I don't want a man telling me during labor what I should be feeling because he never has and never will experience those things so who is HE to tell ME what I should be feeling?! GET ME AN OREO AND AN EPIDURAL OR GET OUTTA MY FACE OK. But this guy- I like him. He has really awesome 1980s hair and a very laid-back Midwestern approach to everything. He doesn't talk to me like this is my first rodeo and never makes me feel rushed through any appointment. He probably knows it is my own mini vacation to come to these appointments and he takes it slow. And now, excuse me while I go copy and paste this onto a Yelp review for him.

I finally busted out my maternity clothes. Well, maternity pants. I have a very well-loved pair of black leggings that are in heavy rotation. I actually ditched about 70% of my maternity (and regular) "wardrobe" a few weeks back on an epic purge and have never been happier. I love love love having less options in the clothing department. Makes getting dressed that much easier. I'm still wearing my blood stained chambray shirt because it is just the right size for pregnancy and (I tell myself) the blood stains aren't that obvious... Not sure what is worse- the fact that a regular shirt of mine is the "right size" for pregnancy or that I don't consider blood stains to be offensive enough to throw a shirt away. Whatever, don't care. I am wearing a coat 94% of the time anyway, and the other 6% of the time I am with people who know about the bloody incident and why my shirt looks that way. Now whether they judge me behind my back for still wearing it or not... who knows.

chambray-bloody-non-maternity-but-works-during-maternity shirt in question// covered by a coat// out in public even// my standards are hitting all time lows// also, I do not have a glass eye, I believe the mirror has a smudge// I will keep you all (yes, all four of you) informed if I ever, in fact, get a glass eyeball.

I don't really have any symptoms to report. I get lightheaded when I stand too long in the mornings. So church is interesting on Sundays. I typically just grab my excuse (Will) and walk him around outside of the sanctuary or sit down in the hall when I feel as if I might keel over. Is bitchiness a symptom? Because if it is, I am suffering from it. Heavily. And while mostly painless for me, I'm sure it's painful for those surrounding me. I need more sunshine and less Molly-talking-into-my-ear-while-standing-two-feet-from-me. Aka WE NEED SPACE.

The kids are still excited for a new baby, although Molly still expresses some disdain over the fact that it's not a sister baby. Molly wants to name him John Deere (re: obsessed with deer and anything deer appear on), Sam changes his name preference according to whatever we're talking about at the time ("Let's call him Junior." me- Oh like Stephen Jr? "No. Just Junior. That's a really good name.") and Will- well, Will obviously has no idea what's coming. He has a mouth full of molars popping through and still thinks it's hilarious to wake up screaming for a banana at 3am. I am terrified at how gigantic my eye bags might soon be with Will waking up randomly for bananas and 4th Baby waking up to eat every 45 minutes. I can't understand why my kids don't enjoy sleeping more. I love it. Steve loves it. It makes sense that they should love it too. I am open to any and all sleep-related tips and tricks for Will. Please send them my way. Just remember that he shares a room with two other kids at the top of a very creaky/dangerous staircase.

Back to the bump- Steve and I have/had a short list of first name contenders. (We are absolutely stuck when it comes to middle name- no clue whatsoever.) I typed them in a note on my phone one day while we were driving back from Fargo. We were talking names one evening and he asked me to read the list to him again. I read it and he said, "Oh that is not possible. Was that a sarcastic list you were sending to one of your friends?" WELP. BACK TO SQUARE ONE.