Not quite but almost an entire week's recap

I'm sure if you live in the continental US then the past week has been full of sweltering heat and unbearable humidity. I'm pretty that explains the lack of clothing in this photo from Thursday.

Little mama, doing her thing, helping with bathtime

Casey and Riley came over Friday morning to hang out and Molly was over the moon when Casey offered for her to feed Riley. I mean, come on. She has only been dreaming of this moment since I told her she would be able to help feed Will (whoops). And not only is she obsessed with babies, but "guh baybees" in particular, so feeding a girl baby a bottle was pretty much the stuff of dreams.

So proud. And yet I feel like Riley is just letting her help so she can feel good about herself. I think girlfriend can almost manage that bottle on her own!

That afternoon I was feeling particularly insane, so the kids and I drove out on Long Island to hit up the Ikea. We mostly went for the play place (because re: oppressive heat and humidity) but I told the kids that if it was full (in my mind: yeah right) they could pick out a stuffed animal or toy. And sadly, when we arrived there was a huge line of kids waiting their turn to get in. Womp womp. Luckily we didn't have too much to get. Steve had hulk-smashed some glass out of a picture frame a few days prior trying to get the backing in for me, so we made a beeline for the frames, which, if you've been to Ikea, you know that means we snaked around 14,000 displays until we finally found the frames. Picked up another frame (luckily only ten bucks) and headed outta there. Unfortunately, the kids remembered that I promised a toy/stuffed animal. Also unfortunately, the kids area was all the way back where we started and up one floor. BACK WE GO. Finally made it to the kids' area and Molly instantly fell in love with this mama and baby "woof" (wolf)/coyote/fox. (Depends on what day it is as to what she calls this thing.) Sam was gonna pick out something just for the hell of it so I tried talking him out of it. You can get a stuffed animal ORRRRRRR..... you can get an ICE CREAM CONE. Well, being my son, food is his love language, so he opted for the ice cream. Molly, being completely unrelated to me, held onto the fox. Then we stood in this unforgivably slow checkout line.

He sucked that cone down faster than I've ever seen him do before. It also melted faster than any cone I've ever seen before.

We got home and then the sky got angry. No filter, no editing! YIKES.

As if I did not punish myself enough with Ikea on Friday, the kids and I headed to Target on Saturday. Steve had drill and I had a nice list of stuff that was Target-specific. Luckily we got there early, before the weekend crowd showed up.

Steve got home from drill and found a package from one of his former Korean soldiers waiting for him. He sent him a sweet SK Army hat with his name and the KATUSA's name embroidered on it. Stuff like this only reignites the desire to go back.

The rest of Saturday was just miserably hot. There were heat advisories and power outages and we gave in and let the kids watch tv. It cracks me up/slightly concerns me that Will watches so intently.

Feels like 101* at 9pm????? What the hell is wrong with the world???

And because I'm up at 430 as well, it only cooled off slightly overnight. I didn't even know it was possible to feel like 86* that early in the morning.

Sunday morning I schlepped the kids to mass. It was miserably hot inside and I poured sweat the entire time we were there. Will fell asleep on me in a puddle of sweat (or passed out from heat exhaustion, who really knows). They behaved so well during mass that I took them to get bagels up the street. I ordered two mini bagels and handed the man my debit card for my $2.05 total. It was then that he pointed to a sign stating they only accept cards for transactions over $10. Naturally I had a single dollar bill in my wallet. So I ordered a few more bagels and then a mango smoothie to take to Steve. Except they were so busy that they kinda forgot about making the smoothie. And there was no AC in this place. And also no air movement whatsoever. So the kids are standing there melting and I'm holding the perpetually sweaty Will and staring holes through these guys like HELLO WE ARE HERE, WE ARE STARVING, PLZ MAKE THE DAMN SMOOTHIE. The very rough looking fellow who was in charge of making the smoothie (and who I was NOT about to give any lip to) finally made it and apologized for forgetting us. Oh no worries, in return for our wait I just left a giant puddle on the floor. You're welcome.

As soon as I got Will down for his afternoon nap...

I escaped and met Casey in Brooklyn! We got a pedicure (and I had my eyebrows done for the first time in well over three years- sorely needed) and then went to a brunch place. My crappy pictures don't really depict the epic food that was placed before us. But mine was a plate of chicken and biscuits that I do believe multiplied as I was eating it. Casey had some sort of boar bacon tacos and this place was pretty fab. We both had bellinis like the classy ladies that we are.

To work off that brunch, we had a nice sweaty walk through a very hipster neighborhood, and then Casey took me to this rooftop bar that overlooks the city because she is super cool and crashed a party recently at this very place, and I'm standing at the bar like, uhhh what to order..... I dunno..... I have party paralysis. It's a very serious condition. We ended up with sparkling rose. Because re: classy ladies.

Real life came back way too soon and way too hard. I focused on cleaning the house and purging one of our precious few closets. I used to hold onto every appliance box so that when our next (inevitable) move came around, I could put my appliances right back into their original packaging and voila! Safe and sound. But I realized that empty boxes were taking up too much real estate so I chucked them all. Then found other things to chuck. Before long, the closet was mostly empty and my mind was feeling particularly clear as well.  Namastay away from me, clutter!

Finally got my family tree hung (with glass!) and I love it. I made one for my parents for Christmas (and attempted one for Steve's parents but got a little stuck on one side, making the chart very stumpy) and it was so interesting to put together. The free trial on Ancestry.com was enough time for me to completely neglect my children and crank this thing out. I Chart You produces the charts and I have printed mine at Costco as a 12x12, then Ikea sells the $10 20x20 frame with mat. Anyways, in case you're looking for a different sort of gift, I highly recommend. I wish I could tell you all I was being compensated for saying this, but alas, I am a nobody SAHM blogger who does not get huge endorsement deals. (Still waiting on a call from Reeses to test any and all new (and old) products.)

Molly definitely has her own special style and I love her for it, but it is entirely too hot for leggings at this point. We can revisit these once the blessed fall descends upon us amen.

I know I am going to miss the days when we can all sit around pantsless and do whatever we please all day long (and by "we" I do mean the children- my mother tells me that one day in the future I can do whatever I please and that's all the encouragement I need right now), but I am actually finally coming around to the idea of school starting. It's been a long summer. The kids have been out of school since we moved here in April. Four months of summer is QUITE ENOUGH THANK YOU. Of course, I feel that way one minute, and the next I am weeping at the thought of someone else watching my babies all day long. I have extreme guilt over not homeschooling them, despite knowing that homeschooling would only wreck my sanity and probably cause us all some mental/emotional damage. More power to the people that can do it. I wish I could be one of them. But I'm not. I just remind myself that all my friends and I survived public school growing up and we are mostly normal, functioning members of society. I can only hope for that for my kids. Moving on!

I'm really not sure what I'm going to do with this happy nugget once the big kids go to school all day long.

I'll probably just pinch his thighs, stare into his blue eyes, and wonder why none of my babies can come out looking like me even just a little bit.

Tuesday morning I woke up running. Sometimes I feel like I peak before 9am. Then the rest of the day is really interesting, but at least the hours of 6-9am are productive.

Floors mopped- picture taken because we all know it won't be like this for long....

We met some friends at the kids cafe to escape the humidity.

So sad to leave

Last night was altogether rotten. Will went to bed nicely at his normal bedtime. I usually expect a wakeup at 1, and then again at 430 or so. I was just drifting off into a nice, hard sleep when I hear him crying at TEN THIRTY. Then again at 1am, 3am, and 430am. Steve got up at 5 because he had to drive down to Ft Dix today (I need to invest in ear plugs), then Sam woke up at 530 and was devastated to find Steve gone without so much as a courtesy wakeup and explanation. He got himself so worked up that he puked. Sort of. He refused my dinner offerings last night (ate two pieces of chicken and half an apple, left the sweet potatoes aka poison behind) and was so hungry that he was making himself throw up. Nothing was coming up of course because nothing was down there, but that didn't stop me from flying out of bed and into the bathroom and becoming 100% awake. I explained that he wasn't sick, just needed to eat his dinner last night, gave him some water, and sent him back to bed. Will was up for good at 6. Molly was up by 615 to let me know that she slept in (oh yes, how kind) and then Sam re-woke up and it was time to get the day started. I was a little grumpy because I'd kinda been up all night and awake for the day at 430, but then to open up the spinach that I just bought YESTERDAY and see this?!

It was just complete rage at that point. It gives me so much anxiety to take all three kids to the store here- the parking lot is an absolute nightmare death trap, I end up wearing Will and trying to herd Sam and Molly around and out of everyone else's way, every once in a while we "luck out" and get the most disgusting looking car cart so they can both sit underneath but then I just imagine how many diseases they are going to come down with because Molly has the lovely habit of biting her nails and I tried using a cart wipe to scrub that thing down but it is SO beyond that. It needs about 4 gallons of bleach, a box of magic erasers, boiling water, and a priest. So I vented to a friend about how terrible this spinach is and how much it stresses me out to go to the store with my circus and how I feel like I never sleep anymore and I think Steve and I have been out on maybe three dates in the last YEAR and you know I miss Korea and we just passed the depressing anniversary of when we left there and I NEED A BREAK HOLD ME. And do you know what she did? Not only did she listen, but she offered to watch my kids so Steve and I could go on a date, she reassured me that (most likely) no one will die from riding in the car cart, reminded me that I'm not insane, just stressed out because momming is hard work, and then left a perfectly perfect carton of spinach in a bag tied around my door.

And that's one of the nicest, most thoughtful gifts anyone has ever given me.

In between picking through my raunchy spinach and being gifted the perfect spinach, Molly had an appointment to finish catching up on her shots.

Once again, she was so brave and didn't shed a tear! I think Sam gets more worked up about it than she does, bless his heart. I waited until we left the doctor's office to let everyone know that I would be treating them to McDonalds for lunch because not only did I run out of shits to give after opening the spinach and calling Tricare, but by golly, that bravery deserves it.

We stopped off at HMart first (Korean grocery store) and mama got two giant beers. Because medicine. Sam "camsamnida'd" everyone there, much to their delight and squeals.

Marveling at the size of these lobsters- so much bigger than the ones we adopted (and butchered) last week!

Post-lunch carnage. Will's empties, Molly only ate her fries, McD's reversed her order (instead of ONLY ketchup and cheese they wrote NO ketchup and cheese- what child likes a dry burger with onions and pickles??), I had a bad case of hangry, and Sam ate every last crumb from his lunch while asking me for more food. Is it bedtime yet?

I'm thankful that tomorrow is a blemish-free day, the tv can hold their attention while I work on my sanity, and Korean food and beer for dinner. Amen.