That time we went on a date and saw ALL THE THINGS (and photographed them too)

You might remember that our ridiculously horrible bad luck streak took a quick break recently and we found a babysitter. Well friends, said babysitter watched our children so Steve and I could go on a date. (!!!) A day date of course, because on the inside we are 85 and start yawning at approximately 7:25pm, if not sooner. (If there has been wine, definitely sooner.) So where did we go?

Say it with me now: WEE-jong-boo. And even though we have our car, that doesn't mean we know where we're going or how to drive through the insanity, so we stuck with the train. There is minimal thinking involved when riding the train to Uijeongbu, and that's something I can really get behind.

We arrived at our destination (the Shinsegae Mall- a 10-story overwhelming metropolis of shopping) and made a beeline for the food. Because I can only dream about a restaurant called Mad For Garlic for so long until I need a bib for all the drooling.

Yes, that is a wreath made of garlic. Yes, I really want one for myself.

This restaurant.... y'all, I can't even form complete sentences about it I loved it so much. I want to go back and eat dinner there every night. Alas, it is... a bit pricy so we probably won't do that. Also, I can't see myself making too many friends with garlic breath that intense. (Unless they are garlic lovers too? And then maybe I will have someone to go eat with there? Yes?)

We got a combo where we got two 'ades (we chose a lemonade and a wine-ade : uhhhhhhmazing!), the Dracula Killer (garlic cooked in olive oil with anchovies and cheese on top served with bread, because duh, you need something to get it into your gaping maw), ham and sausage pizza (giving new meaning to thin crust (like notebook paper) and complimented by a white creamy sauce), and Iberico pork steak and rice (I would eat this a thousand times over. A THOUSAND. The steak was soaked in garlic butter! Muah! I AM SO HUNGRY NOW.) It did not take us long to make this meal disappear.

This picture makes me sad.

Anyways, if you love garlic, get ye to a Mad For Garlic restaurant. Google tells me they are only in Asia. But you were probably planning a visit to see me anyway, so we can just add this to the itinerary.

Yes, a garlic chandelier. Lauren Jean-Allece Morton-Farmer (this is how you know I'm serious, when I use your fuller than full name), get your garlic-lovin' butt on a Korean Air flight STAT!

After eating lunch, we made a pit stop at the restrooms because hello, I just drank two glasses of water and some 'ades. I never know what to expect with Korean restrooms. Community toilet paper roll? Squatty potty? Fancy toilet with an ass warmer? You just NEVER KNOW. So I went in with caution (but not so much caution that I remembered to bring my own roll of toilet paper). Luckily it was like the rest of that mall. TOTAL LUXURY. I wanted to take pictures so badly, but there were approximately twelve other ladies in there and also a cleaning lady who showed me to my seat (ahem), but not before going in first and making sure the toilet was thoroughly wiped down and clean. I cannot complain about the service around here. Anyways, I only snapped one quick picture with my cell phone on the way out. (Excuse that face.) But maybe you can tell that the ceilings are high, and maybe you will believe me when I tell you that it was solid stone everything and tiled to the ceiling and giant mirrors and a special sitting room that was semi-private and overall I kinda just wanna hang out in the bathroom if I ever get tired of shopping.

Cannot remember toilet paper, but yes Jenn, by all means, take the camera.

We wandered around the mall for a while, but to be honest, we just aren't great shoppers. We are kind of cheap. And when Steve pointed out a tie ("Ha! Look! Auburn colors!") and the sales lady flipped it over to reveal a 109,000 ₩ price tag? We realized we are just meant to be browsers at this place. (109,000 ₩ is about $100 American. For a TIE.) 

The Koreans love a good handbag.

I of course went down to check and make sure they weren't giving them away for free, but apparently there was just a huge demand for bright blue purses.

Steve and I wandered further back into the mall and not only was there a fresh food market, but there were just aisles and aisles of mini bakery/coffee shops parked in the middle of the mall. Not like an American food court where the restaurants border the perimeter with tables in the middle, but just little cafes throughout with their own tiny seating areas.

I apologize if you are on a diet.

Love how they spell "pecan."

Don't even know what any of that is, but I'd eat it. I'd eat it right now.

Cakes for dayssssss.....

Cupcakes too!

Naturally we got one. (You: duh!)

Steve got the tiniest, most perfect macchiato.

Then we headed to the underground mall. Because once you go on escalators to the sky towards retail heaven, you naturally need to go underground where they are selling reasonably-priced items.

Y'all know I got that orange and blue scarf. And one of its friends. For $5 each. Huzzah!

Steve wanted some hipster glasses so he could fit in, but...... no.

After we came above ground, we went through the outdoor shopping area. We took a few turns and BAM. Full-on Korean market. It was packed to the gills with produce stands, grocery stands, random sit-down food stands, embroidery stands, and just a couple thousand Koreans. (It was so crowded.) And the smells! Ohmuhgawd the smells. God bless any pregnant lady in Korea. You smell a new smell every two feet. Some pleasant, some you can't help but crinkle up your nose.

eggs - food stand - beginning of the market - hanbok outfits - eggplants

not grapes, and not sure - crab covered in a very spicy sauce - crabs with spicy peppers to maybe give you an idea as to what you should cook them with - pickles? being showered with vinegar? There is a considerable language barrier so this prevents me from asking all of my stupid questions.

So many dead fish omg. And these little old ladies with these serial killer meat cleavers were just ripping fish guts apart for an audience like nobody's business.

fruit - pastries - swarms of people

We had to go back underground to get back over to the mall/train station. Since we can't read Korean, we usually go up a few sets of steps that do not lead to the correct exit (just workin' off some lunch!), but we finally found it. (Only took us three tries.)

Gotta love a man that will tote around your pink Hello Kitty bag full of scarves and then strike a Rocky pose while leery Koreans give him the side eye.

Can you see the tears in my eyes?? We were headed home. MAKE IT LAST FOREVER PLEASE GOD DON'T MAKE ME GO HOME. Oh well, at least I get to take this hunk of handsome with me.