I'm back to bring you more trailer photos, obviously.

What the heck y'all? I'm turning into one of these occasional I'll-spit-out-some-sort-of-post-every-few-weeks type of blogger. Although I knew that my alone time would take a nose-dive after Child #2 arrived, I did not anticipate my alone time to be completely wiped off the map. But, well, it has. No one cares to nap at the same time, the dishwasher hasn't magically fixed itself, and the cloth diapers need to be washed every day apparently. But wah wah wah, this is not what you came here for. Let me fill you in on what's been happening lately.

• I went to take a 20 minute nap get my teeth cleaned for the first time in seven years a few weeks ago. I think the hygienist needed a massage after scraping my teeth. She kept rolling her neck and "shakin' it out" and apologizing for taking breaks. But my mouth feels/looks/smells lots better. What I don't understand is why I got a goodie bag with floss in it when I left? 
• Steve and I went on another date. This time to Beachaven's Jazz On The Lawn. It was..... interesting. People who most definitely fill their weekends with Nattie Lights were chugging blackberry wine straight from the bottles (classy). We went to the tasting area and proceeded to taste as many wines as we were allowed before the dude pouring sippy cups started giving me the evil eye. (Is it frowned upon to get a buzz while tasting? It's not everyday I go wine tasting afterall.) Then we settled on the wine that didn't taste like a plastic kiddie pool or the bottom of a shoe. Overall, it was fun. There were kids there, which, meh,  I wish it was strictly an adult shindig. But the wine blocked out the kids after a while. Also, while in line to confirm our age, I noticed that the girl in line behind us looked veeeerrrry familiar. Turns out, she was one of the Melanie's. The one that was tasked with the catheter job. I considered turning around and saying something, maybe introducing myself, but she was with a guy and bringing up the efficient and timely placement of my catheter on her date seemed.... weird. Much less weird is pretending to take my own picture while secretly taking hers.

Obviously she is the cute one directly behind us, not the scary one with the sunglasses. Oh wait, that's a dude. The other one with the raccoon eyes is not her either, although she's just as scary. Alright, I'm just about drunk on Haterade now so I'll stop.

• We also went to a Sips and Strokes type of joint to paint some "art." Haaaa. Well. Steve was the only male there, but being totally secure in his masculinity, he charged forward and painted to the best of his ability. Come to find out, neither of us has any real ability.  

Our paintings were supposed to look like this:

Sorry it's so blurry, I had to copy the tiny icon off of their website: swirlz.com/bookaclass.
But this is clearly not what we painted. 

This could be why I consider the monthly dipping of my kids' feet in paint and smashing them onto a canvas as my creative flex.

• In really sad news, my freezer stash of milk is all but gone (only one bag left!). Remember how we got a deep freezer and I promptly filled it up with milk since I am a dairy cow and all? Well, my supply took a nosedive. I had everything to make a bottle of formula in case push came to shove. But I was having such a STRUGGLE with giving her formula! (???) Not sure why, because I supplemented Sam with formula throughout and then switched him over completely at six months. Why is it so hard to do the same for Molly? I never understood those moms who were having severe anxiety over giving up breastfeeding or supplementing with formula. For me, it seems like a black and white issue. You can't make enough breastmilk/can't latch/don't want to breastfeed/insert general breastfeeding issue here, just give the kid formula. No big deal. Why stress over this?? But now? Oh now, I get it. I still can't even explain it, but it was basically the most extreme case of Mom Guilt I've ever experienced. LUCKILY, I started listening to my body. That is simple hippie-speak for "EAT MORE CARBS." I had started replacing some of my daily carbs with fruits and veggies (healthy, right? WRONG) and that is when I started going from producing 6oz per session to 2oz. Luckily, I am now keeping up with her massive intake and am back to regularly pumping 5-6oz per session with a nice, healthy 12oz pump first thing in the morning. Oh, why the giant milk supply in the morning, you ask? It might be because WE'RE SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT HERE FOLKS. Yep, not even three months old and this baby is a rockstar. (Am knocking on every available piece of wood and you should too pleaseandthankyou.) 
• AM RACKING MY BRAIN FOR OTHER THINGS I NEED TO UPDATE YOU ON BEFORE THE SIMULTANEOUS NAPPING ENDS.... GAAAAHHHH....
• Search keywords. I enjoy checking these things every so often (and hearing about Mrs. K's as well). Some of mine have been interesting lately.
• "child who only eats chips" - Yes, my child only eats chips. But they're VEGGIE chips. So I'm a good mom dammit.
• "army paycheck" - No, they don't come nearly often enough.
• "grandma kegstand" - Personally, I have never seen a grandma do a kegstand, but I have a feeling that if you need to see that, youtube would probably be the place to find it.
• "it was bussy" - I don't even know what that means
• "if I'm already hairy will I get hairy with my pregnancy" - I'm not sure, but probably? And is someone trying to insinuate that I'm hairy? I shave AT LEAST once a week now, y'all. Geez. Some high standards around here.
• "gluten free military fort campbell" - No, Fort Campbell does not have a good selection of gluten free foods. At least not food that's in-date. If you enjoy expired GF breakfast bars though, you can really stock up.
• "lieutenate" "liutenant" "luitenant" - None of y'all can spell. It's ok. It's a tricky word. I before E and all that jazz.
• And my most recent personal favorite: "mess with me you mess with the whole trailer park" - Word. 
• Speaking of trailer parks, while we were in Auburn for Molly's baptism (aka The Post That Was Never Written), Steve and I stopped by all of our old trailers. (You know you're a redneck when... you can refer to multiple trailers that were once in your possession.) (And I cannot wait to see the search terms that come from that one sentence.) For your viewing pleasure...

We started with the scariest one first. This was the trailer that I lived in with my younger brother. A loaded shotgun was kept next to my bed at night and it was robbed about a week after we sold it. (Yes, someone ACTUALLY bought this from us.)

Slightly less scary and considerably larger. This was Steve's trailer for about a year or so. Not a bad neighborhood, but I still didn't like walking to my car at night. Ever. Unless I was carrying my shotgun, of course.

And here she is: Our First Place. The Least Ghetto Of Them All.

Well folks, children are awakening and that's about all the time we have for today. Hopefully it won't be three weeks before I post again. In the meantime, you should follow me on twitter and instagram (jmr0006)!