Sam gives you a tour of our house (photo overload)

Because I'm usually a day late and a dollar short, I decided to post this anyways, even though the main point was to link up with Sue YESTERDAY. Whatever. We will do it anyway because better late than on time, right?

I've taken pictures of every house we've lived in so far so that we can always look back and remember where we've been. Sam had the honor of hosting this house tour. So without further ado, the Ft Campbell House tour.

When you walk in the front door, you will usually be greeted by at least one, but usually a combination of the following:
a) a screamy child
b) an overly excited pug
c) the aroma of something burning (only if it's dinnertime)
d) tons of dog hair, blocks, random trash strewn about, and Sam running around in just a diaper

That dark, stinky room to the right is the downstairs bathroom. It houses the pail full of dirty cloth diapers. It is a scary little room and one should only go in there to quickly do their business.

To your left would be a closet that will look familiar to any military wife.

This front closet houses all of Steve's Army uniforms and PT gear. The garage houses the rest of his equipment and it is the reason I don't currently park in there. I also take the opportunity to throw some random stuff in there that has no other place to go (ie random boxes, Bumbo, and HL project purchase that cannot seem to ever be completed).

To your right is the odd little room off of the kitchen.

We have Molly in her element, my Walmart rug, the recycle bin (aka "toy bin" if you're Sam), uber-classy fire extinguisher (which has never been used thankyouverymuch), and laundry room (with access to the garage) to your right.

That's where you just came from, but now you can see the chair where all the magic happens. And by magic, I do mean milk. Armed with many books and dump trucks, I can keep Sam occupied for a good 30 minutes while I sit down. And for those of you questioning my voyeuristic habits, that pink thing on the chair is a Hooter Hider. I'm not into showing the neighbors EVERYthing, despite doing that next to the window.

This angle shows you a view of our laundry room and Sam getting ready to nose through the recycle bin.

The view I have from my milkmaid chair. We are picking up a piano (craigslist!) tomorrow, so soon I will be staring at a piano instead of electrical cords and random toys.

As we wander on through, you will come into my kitchen.

A few things to note starting at the top and working our way clockwise:

High noon: The scale is still in the kitchen, just shoved under the drawers next to the oven. I scoot it out each morning and weigh myself. I also write on the dry erase whether there has been any weight loss. The scale-in-the-kitchen trick is kind of working.

2: Defunct dishwasher. Now serves as a nifty storage unit for all my oversized pans.

2:15: Maybe you can see the stems poking up in the dishdrain? Happy hour totally happened last night.

6: Our tour guide patiently waits for me to finish explaining this seemingly self-explanatory space.

9: Microwave serves as a catch-all for things that I can't bear to part with just yet. It does not get cleaned regularly, but only when people are coming over.

10: Super-messy fridge. I hang our weekly meal plans on the side, along with training calendars, phone numbers I'm sure to forget, and Sam's first-ever crayon doodling.

Off of the kitchen is the dining room/living room combo. Look to your left and you have the living room portion of the space. Dirty highchair, messy desk, another Walmart rug, and canvas bin full of diaper-changing essentials (because I ain't hauling everybody upstairs just to use the changing table every time someone sharts).

Lovely pillows are courtesy of my super-talented best friend, Brittany (as in, she MADE them).

Tissues are stored at super-human heights because Sam has the tendency to decorate the floors with them.

Now we'll come at the living room from the front-door angle so we can see the dining room.

Here you can see out the back doors onto the patio, where I have yet to kill all of the flowers. (Well, you could see it if we didn't live two miles from the side of the sun. It is not always so white outside.)

On to the dining room.

Here we have a variety of wedding photos, my sideboard full of Polish pottery, and my pride and joy- the dining room table. Oh, there's Sam too. Love you honey!

Let's go up the steepest, creakiest stairs in existence. (Gates are located at the top and bottom, don't be so quick to call CPS.)

First bedroom on the left is Molly's. Well, it was actually Sam's old room, but since it's gender-neutral, it got handed down and Sam "upgraded" to a new room. It is the only room that's somewhat decorated, yet no one goes in there. Odd.

No curtains, Sam's old clothes that I'm too lazy to sort and put away, and that's a closet on the right.

From the closet's point of view..

That was Steve's baby dresser. Also, aren't we CREATIVE painting canvas solid colors? We are just not artistic people.

Next bedroom is Sam's. This room is really sad in that I haven't put a dang thing on his walls. Besides the stalker camera, of course. Gotta keep tabs on what he's up to in there.

He pushes that old diaper box around like it's his grocery cart. The child DOES have toys, he just prefers trash. This is a classic example of that. You can see by the state of the upstairs that I focus zero percent of my cleaning efforts up here. We're downstairs for 94% of the day, therefore, I strive to keep that tidy. But I really don't care what it looks like upstairs. (Just close your eyes and SLEEP. It is what bedrooms were designed for. No need to look at the mess.)

A view from the beanbag chair.

Sam does possess cuter sheets than these standard white ones. I swear I'm not going for the prison cell look here, but it was in the wash.

After Sam's room is a full bathroom and some linen closets. Then we have this gigantor closet that I originally thought was the fifth bedroom.

Continuing straight ahead you have the guest bedroom. It is also bland in design. Don't want anyone getting too cozy here.

And how could you when you wake up to the Closet O' Crap?

Last and definitely least is the "master bedroom." I put that in quotes because I don't think true master bedrooms contain as many toys as ours does. Notice our classy light fixtures throughout.

Another view from the closet.

Yes my friends, that is a mini fridge next to my night stand. I needed somewhere to store the milk at night that didn't require multiple trips up and down the creaky stairs. It's tacky, but it works. Also, mad props to Steve for restoring that mirror. I found it at a flea market for $10 and it was painted a skanky green with a handpainted vine around the edges. The sweet man sanded down the entire thing and then stained it for me. I don't know why it looks so dark in this picture. It's the same color as our dressers.
And then my lovely friend Brittany also made the curtain for us as well! We have this weird hotel-bathroom-setup where the sink is hanging out in the bedroom and then the tiniest bathroom ever had a door attached. Well, due to space issues and the fact that you might just suffocate on steam while showering, we removed the tiny door and put up Brittany's curtain instead.

And tiny bathroom.

Guess who's learned how to flush toilets?

Here is a halfway picture of our backyard. At least the patio portion. We like hanging out here in the evening with the little lightbulbs lit up. Oh and a glass or three of wine. It makes staring at the side of your neighbor's house that much more enjoyable.

So there you have it. Our home. I hope it's not glaringly obvious that everything we own is from a yard sale or craigslist. Because that would just be embarrassing.