Because pregnancy brain is hitting me HARD today

I can't come up with more than these half-ass answers to a questionnaire.

The MilSpouse Quiz (taken from Amanda)

1. How did you and your spouse meet?

Steve and I met because Steve was a friend of my little brother's friend, and our paths eventually crossed. I have no recollection of the first time we ACTUALLY met (which, I know, is terrible), but I'm sure I was thinking that he was the most smokin-hot guy I'd ever seen and that life with him would be super-fun. 

2. How old were you when you two met?

I had just turned 22 and Steve was about to turn 21. One memory I DO have is that Steve came home from a drill weekend and attended my 22nd birthday dinner. We didn't sit next to each other, but I believe that that was the first encounter I had with Steve and his digestive system's extreme displeasure with eating MRE's. He farted, and it was SO BAD that a waitress dropped an entire tray of food. I kid you not. I vividly remember thinking that he was one of the stinkiest people I'd ever met. I also go to GREAT LENGTHS now to prepare lots of snacks and meals for him to take out into the field for training so that he does not have to eat a single MRE. Because I do not want to face that wrath again. Especially now that I share a bed with him and because he finds Dutch-ovening me hilarious. (It is not.)

Auburn game 09

3. How long have you been together?

Since December 2008, so a little over three years. We've been married for two and a half, so as you can see, we didn't waste any time.

4. Where are you and your spouse originally from?

Steve used to tell me he was from "the rough streets of Philly." I actually sort of believed him for a little while....UNTIL I went and visited his hometown (a SUBURB of Philadelphia) and saw that it was the furthest thing from rough. So cute with the little things he would say to impress me.

I'm from south Alabama and I think the first time Steve came down, he probably thought I was taking him as far into the wilderness as possible so I could kill him and easily dispose of his body. But I didn't kill him! I married him!

NYC Spring Break 09

5. How did you feel about him joining the military?

He was already in the military when we met, so I guess I didn't think too much about it. 

6. Where did your spouse go to Basic Training?

Fort Benning, GA. Poor baby. It was his first summer in the South and he spent it doing basic training. I didn't know him then, but it still hurts my heart to think about how red he must have been that summer. (And some guy, somewhere, has some sort of PTSD from sleeping so close to Steve after he ate all of that chow-hall military food. Bless his heart.)

 Military Ball- 09

7. Has your spouse ever been deployed?

Not yet. That's coming this year. <gulp>

8. Ever been to his promotion ceremony?

Yup. I put those sweet little butterbars on his shoulders (incorrectly, of course) and look forward to one day attending a promotion ceremony of his where I am not grotesquely pregnant. (Will promote to 1LT in March- I will again be super-duper-pregnant. No doubt someone will take a picture to document that.)

Commissioning- August 09

9. How long have you been a military wife?

Ever since I got married, so approximately two and a half years.  

10. Did you marry him before or after he joined?

After. Is it me or are these questions getting a little redundant?

11. How did your husband propose?

On the beach, the day before I graduated college.

12. Where did you get married?

We got married at my childhood church in Alabama.  

8-8-09

13. How old were you two when you got married?

I was still 23 (what a great year for meeee) and Steve was 21.

14. Did he wear his uniform on his wedding day?

Nope. Steve was definitely NOT into that idea. I think it's sweet though, and would love to have pictures of him in his uniform and me in my wedding dress. But HAHAHA that will never ever happen because I don't think my new, uh, "curves" will ever fit back into that wedding dress.

15. Where are you and your spouse currently stationed?

We are currently stationed at Ft Campbell, KY. 

16. Do you live on post?

Yep! Sure do. It's light-years better than living off-post. 

before we moved in- circa July 2010

17. How long were you married when you had to go through your first separation?

Ummmm.... Besides random drill weekends, I think the most time we spent apart was when Steve had to go to field training with ROTC. There wasn't much separation at BOLC (except that one week where I sleep-trained my little nugget while Steve was out in the field! Score one for the mama!), so Ft Campbell training has kept us apart the most since being married. More training, JRTC in Louisiana, and a deployment are waiting for us this year though, so the separations are fixin' to get a lot more frequent.

18. What is your favorite base so far?

I would definitely say Ft Lee. It's the only other place we've been stationed besides Campbell, and while I couldn't see the forest for the trees while we were there (no-sleeping newborn mania had taken over our lives, as well as Tricare fiascos and mean ol' stick-in-the-mud instructors at BOLC), Steve and I both agree that going back to Ft Lee would be a welcome change. I guess we didn't know how bad it COULD be til we saw something different.
 

19. Do you think your spouse looks good in his uniform?

I would prefer he wear it nonstop. It is the epitome of HOT.

In uniform AND holding a cute baby?! Almost too much to handle. Pathfinder gradutation- April 2011

20. Do you think military life is more advanced than civilian life?

Sounds like someone is trying for a snotty answer here! I would never say it is "more advanced" but it is very different. Some of those differences are good, some of them aren't so good. I have a feeling it's like that for everyone in life.

21. Do you like the benefits you receive as a military dependent?

I do. I enjoy shopping at the commissary (you know, when it's NOT a payday and when people shop for their families alone instead of bringing all 57 kids, cousins, aunts, and uncles with them to cram the aisles). I like knowing that our health insurance is stable. I love our house and living on-post. 

(Just deleted entire soapbox rant about sacrifices vs benefits- you're welcome!) 

22. Do you have a lot of military wife friends?

I am striving more for quality instead of quantity when it comes to military wife friends. That said, I think that I have a great little network of friends here at Campbell and look forward to making more. 

23. What is the hardest part of the military life?

I'm sure that later on this year, my answer will be "deployments and separations." But right now, it is the inconsistent schedule. I want Steve to be able to spend time with Sam at least once during the day, and having all of these "super-important" things pop up at the end of the day does not allow that to happen. Bad scheduling does not a happy wife make.

September 2011

24. Do you own military wife stuff?

I do not. But Steve and I get a real kick out of the cars that have military wife stickers on the back, only to see that the husband is stuck driving the car around town. 

25. Do you support your spouse as a member of the military?

Well this one is a big fat DUH. Of course I support him. I'm very proud of what he's doing (whether he sees his job as important or not right now) and will continue to support him wherever the Army happens to take him (and us. Don't forget about us. We're going to tag along too.).

October 2011

PS. My (or should I say Sam's) cloth diapers are arriving today! Stay tuned!

This is why dough in the can is the dough for meeee

Now that we've all recovered from the shock of my cloth diaper announcement, we can move on to much easier-to-handle subjects, like making really simple recipes from the dough inside of the exploding cans. I love this dough because I open the can (OK, I get Steve to open the can for me because that loud pop scares the bajeezus outta me), pull out the dough, and it bakes properly EVERY TIME. I don't have to sit on the floor in front of the oven while it bakes, biting my nails nervously in anticipation of flat, dense bread.

To tie in why I'm talking about the biscuits from the exploding can, recently a friend of mine was asking about some money-saving meals, and I just so happened to create two of them without Steve's knowledge, so I thought I'd share. (Steve hates to skimp on food. He would probably prefer we burn our own trash for heat instead of cutting the grocery budget by a buck.) So without further ado, here are my totally original, money-saving, easy, cheap, did I mention easy, dinners.

Last week, I cooked spaghetti. Wah wah. I cooked an entire box of noodles, browned one pound of ground sausage, and used an entire jar of spaghetti sauce. Cheap. Easy. I'll admit, not entirely original. But (but!), before I served either one of us, I divided the meat (which had sauce mixed in) and immediately scooped half of it into a ziploc bag to be stored in the freezer for a future meal. I did the same with the noodles (except stuck them in the fridge for the next night's dinner). I then served us both in smaller bowls (so it appeared that we each had more than we really did) and left something like a quarter of a serving of both noodles and meat on the stove so that Steve could go back for seconds. Because if the man doesn't have access to seconds (no matter how small those seconds might be), you would think he never ate at all. So the spaghetti dinner was mostly about mind games and trickery. That is where my "original-ness" came in. But maybe you do the same things at your house too and I'm not so original. Either way, humor me here.

I have apparently been playing mind games with myself lately because every time I go to the grocery store, I pick up a tube of Grands biscuits thinking we have none in the house. And when I get home and open the fridge, I immediately slap myself in the head and wonder how I was unaware that there were already five cans in there!? So I put the biscuits to use last night, along with the leftover meat from spaghetti night. We had some friends over for the National Championship game and I needed to make "football food." I ended up making homemade hot pockets (recipe to follow! yippee!), pigs in a blanket (I hope you don't need a recipe for that), and white trash dip. Alabama was playing, so I figured that the dip was quite fitting, don't you agree?

On with the recipe! I have to admit, this recipe is not really original either. My mom made these all the time growing up. I don't know how she had the patience (and finger power) to make so many all at once, but there were always plenty and they are SO much better (and cheaper!) than the store-bought hot pockets.

So here we go. You'll need at least one tube of Grands biscuits.

Some spaghetti sauce and a meat of your choice (I had the leftover sausage, but usually use pepperoni)

(Note: Everything looks really unappetizing in my kitchen at night, what with the weird fluorescent lighting and faux wood countertops, but I promise these things are goooooood.)

You will also need some sort of cheese.

Get your husband/brother/dad/friend to open your can of exploding biscuits for you. Then smush the biscuit out until it is flat.

(Note: If your husband/brother/dad/friend owes you one, get them to smash out all the biscuits for you. You can spend this extra bit of free time admiring the pile of dirty dishes awaiting you once you finish slaving over this homecooked-almost-from-scratch meal.)

Here is an unsmashed biscuit next to the flattened biscuit that's ready to be filled to give you an idea of how smushed these things need to be.

Put a little bit of sauce onto the biscuit, but don't go crazy because you are going to have to fold this thing up eventually and you don't want a bunch of sauce seeping out the sides and permanently fixating itself to your "no-stick" pans.

Do not be grossed out. My sauce had veggies in it and that is why it is chunky. (Gotta sneak 'em in where I can!)
Next, add your meat. I did a spoonful of sausage, but if you're doing pepperoni, I usually use about 3-4.

Then add some cheese, but again, not too much because this sucker has to zip up eventually.

You are now at the point where you can fold this sucker over and press the edges together with your fingers.

And because we want to be fancy and look like we spent hours in here making these mini-calzones, take a fork and press the tines down around the edge.

Put all of these little babies on your pan and bake them at 350 for 15ish minutes, depending on your oven.

While I had never made them with sausage before, they were very good, and quite the hit at the football get-together. You can make these with any filling you'd like- ham and cheese, roast beef and cheese, turkey and cheese.... Ok, pretty much any lunch meat you have on hand that's needing to be used up can go into these biscuits.

I also recommend the white trash dip (especially if you're having Bama fans over as this will make them feel right at home), because it was easy and called for very few ingredients. This picture is not my own (remember, I was slaving away over these HOMEMADE hot pockets), but I got the recipe off of Pinterest, of course, so here ya go.

via Pinterest

Did you forgo your usual 9pm bedtime last night to watch the National Championship? Did you regret it this morning? Do you wish that the Tigers had played like the number-one-ranked team we all thought they were? Or do you just want to sink your teeth into this deeeelicious dip? Come on over- there are PLENTY of leftovers.

Holy Huggies.

My little stats info page recently told me that someone found my blog because they searched the key words "corn poop diet." Now, I'm not sure what this corn poop diet entails (or why I am a search result candidate for this topic since, uh, I don't do diets), but a corn poop diet sounds like no fun to me. (But now that I've mentioned "corn poop diet" approximately four times in the opening paragraph, I'm sure this blog will get the most hits for people interested in this diet. I'M SORRY YOU CORN POOP DIET LOVERS, I KNOW NOTHING.)

But that lovely visual does provide me with a nice segue into a Very Big Important Green Healthy Decision made around here today! Which is...... *drumroll* ..... we are going to begin cloth diapering Sam (and Second Baby) very soon.

Please erase all images of those white pieces of cloth and safety pins from your minds. That is from the dark ages. Also, how would I even BEGIN to try to erase corn poop out of a WHITE cloth diaper??? The skid marks in that thing would be horrendous to say the least.

We came to this decision in a roundabout sort of way. I think we all know by now that Sam is allergic to something if it even looks at him the wrong way. So the chemicals in disposable diapers have really been taking a toll on his sweet little hiney. At first I chalked it up to his eczema or a diaper rash, but nothing is clearing up and we had to make a decision.

I've been researching cloth diapers for a while now (WOW there is a ton of information out there in internetland) and have a close friend who cloth diapers. While I am no crunchy granola hippie, we do strive to be as "green" as possible. We recycle (literally everything), I try to reuse things whenever I can, we buy lots of things secondhand, and we make a very real effort not to waste. But when it came to diapers, I just felt like going the cloth diapering route was too overwhelming. And to be honest, if I had considered it when Sam was first born, my brain probably would have exploded from the thought. It would have been WAY. TOO. MUCH. But we've had our heads above water now for quite a while. Long enough to remember how to work a calculator and holy huggies there is a lot of money being thrown in the trash. Literally. Which is totally separate from the recycling bin, no matter how similar they might look.

Lemme break it down for ya. (All of my estimates are VERY conservative, so that the savings we see will be on the lower end.)

We currently buy Target brand disposable diapers. Sam is in size 3's, which retail at $13 for 96 diapers. That is (approximately) $0.14 per diaper.
We guesstimate that we change him AT LEAST six times per day, but usually more. So that is $0.84 per day.
Each month, we spend $25(+) in diapers.
Every year, we shell out well over $300 in disposable diapers.
Note that the average little boy doesn't potty train til he's around three years old? (And Sam will probably wait a little longer just to push the envelope.) We're talking well over a grand in the trash.

That's a lot of money. Not to mention that we are responsible for sending AT LEAST 2,100 corn-poop filled diapers to a landfill somewhere every year (and if that corn isn't breaking down in your digestive tract, imagine how long it takes to melt through a diaper and plant itself in the earth again).

We know that this will not be as easy as tossing a stinky diaper in a pail and never thinking about it again. But we also know that with the developments in cloth diapering, we will not be reduced to swirling poopy cloth diapers in a toilet trying to get that last corn kernel out. (Too graphic? Ok I think I've hit my corn poop talk quota anyway.)

When I first looked up the cloth diapers I had read the best reviews about (the bumGenius 4.0), I had to pick my jaw up off the floor because ONE of these little cloth confections was selling for $20. (breathe, breathe, breathe, they're reusable, this will eventually SAVE you money, breathe, breathe, breathe) My cloth diapering friend referred me to the website where she purchased her bumGeniuses and luckily, THEY WERE ON SALE. And then? I FOUND A COUPON CODE. So I got those little suckers for $11.36 each. Still pricey, but after purchasing eighteen (seemed to be the golden number to get you through), it was still under what we would pay for disposable diapers in just one year. So actually... we're saving on Sam's second year of diapering by at least $100, the third year of diapering (if there is one- positive thoughts!) will be free, and all subsequent children will be "free" and have no corn-induced impact on landfills worldwide! Score one for the parents, who only took fifteen months to figure this one out!

I considered not writing about this until after we got the diapers in the mail and had used them successfully, but after seeing the corn poop stats thing and knowing that this will most likely NOT go off without a hitch, I figured I'd get it out now. There will likely be a lot of hiccups on this new, green road we're on, and the least I could do is share it with YOU.

Some people...

So at some point, recently, I guess, I crossed over into the third trimester. I know. I'm not sure how it happened either. This pregnancy is literally flying by. I felt like I was pregnant with Sam for well over a year. And not in a way like, "Get this baby out of me NOW," because I have been blessed so far with easy pregnancies (KNOCK ON EVERY AVAILABLE PIECE OF WOOD), virtually no symptoms (besides a rapidly-expanding waistline), and never felt the general uncomfortableness that comes with being nine months pregnant. It's not that I *loooove* being pregnant (because there are days where a glass of wine would just be UHmazing), but I don't hate it either.

That being said, I am ready to be done with this pregnancy so I can avoid comments like these:

Upon greeting a friend and her puppy and exclaiming that the dog had grown so much since I had last seen him:
Friend: "He's probably doubled in size since you last saw him. And I think you have too!"
Me: (blank stare)
Friend: "You look so good though!"
Me: (leaving)


Friend, dumbfounded after I had to inform a lady I was pregnant: "I don't see how she couldn't tell you're pregnant!"
Me: "I know! Wait.. What?"


My pants: <falling down every time I bend over>
Me: !!! long string of very profane curse words !!! coupled with my repeating my brilliant future invention of a set of suspenders that hook the bottom of your bra to the top of your pants


Friend: "How much weight have you gained?"
Me: "Enough."


Seriously???? Like poor Steve doesn't have enough work cut out for him already? Now he's got to reassure me that I don't look like the side of a house??? PLEASE people. When you spout out these seemingly innocent conversation starters (HA), some pregnant lady's poor husband has to do damage control. Not that these things have gotten MY panties in a twist. I could really care less. Doc says that I'm "right on track" and her professional, medical opinion is really the only one I truly care about (besides Steve's). I am just amazed at some of the things that come out of people's mouths.

via Pinterest