Gettin' social on a Sunday

I never do link-ups, but I felt like I could easily answer all of these questions before my kids wake up, so let's have at it.

1. What is your shopping weakness?

My shopping weakness lately would definitely be squeezies and the dollar bin at Target. You can't put a price on shopping the boring bedding section without people screaming and crying at you. (Well, I guess you actually can. It's the cost of a light-up ball ($1) and a fruit squeezy ($1.32). WORTH IT.)


2. What is your food weakness?

My food weakness is easily Tyson nuggets, squeezies, and turkey dogs. They are easy when I am weak. And I usually fix myself a bowl of tuna with frozen veggies and quinoa (gag).


3. What is your go to movie to watch when nothing is on?

Baby Einstein On The Farm or Mighty Machines, the Garbage Truck Edition. Either of these shows buys me upwards of 30 minutes, depending on how many "bonus features" I scroll through.

4. What is your go to breakfast food?

Banana, milk, rice chex. Healthy, gluten free, easy. The rice chex take slightly longer to chew than a banana, which gives me time to chug that second cup of coffee.

5. Do you drink coffee? If so, how do you take it?

What an appropriate question. Yes, I drink coffee. I take it with gigantic, tongue-burning gulps and I take as much of it as I can get before the rice chex run out. "My cup runneth over" in relation to coffee would never be seen as a negative thing to me. I loveth the coffee and the coffee doth keep me sane and awake. Amen.

 

Refill please...

Sht, sht I sold on craigslist, and sht my kids did

I don't even know how to begin these posts anymore, so here we go.

• Let the record show that I went to Publix the other day to get Molly's medicine (because holy hamhocks the child is resistant to everything BUT sickness it appears), and while I was waiting for it to be filled, I wandered over to the produce section. And lo and behold an old woman was giving out sushi samples. I've had sushi once. During my sophomore year of college. At a weird Asian buffet. And I spit it back out on my plate. Because I am nothing if not 100% classy. So I was kind of hesitant to try it, but it looked so delicious and I was starving (in a chubby girl sort of way). Y'all. WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME ABOUT THIS?! Granted, I have probably been saving myself thousands upon thousands of calories over the years by not trying this (and I'm still holding out on trying Nutella, because sweet Moses I don't think my hips could handle that on top of my peanut butter addiction), but still. It was amazing. Crossing off #56. And headed back to Publix ASAP.
• Yesterday afternoon, my offspring and I made the trek down to Chick fil A for some grilled nugget goodness. And to kill an hour. Because whiny Molly can quickly turn me into insane Mommy. While waiting in the drive-thru (because going inside is for VERY SPECIAL OCCASIONS ONLY), I noticed the lady in front of me staring at me by way of her side mirror. Was it because I was singing along to Taylor Swift on the radio? (Don't lie, you do it too.) Was it because I hadn't showered yet? Or was it because I kept pointing at the back of her car to show Sam their helicopter sticker? God only knows. But that lady paid for our dinner. I was also picking up dinner for friends, so my order was not exactly cheap. I went ahead and paid for the car behind me. I wish I knew how long that went on. There are still good people in this world. (#35)
• #77 has happened and I don't feel like I need to go into too much detail about it, but yes, it is taken care of. 
• I had such high hopes for spring this year. And once again, it was like a week-long honeymoon, split up by some rain and a day or two where I had to run the heat at night, and now it appears summer and the deathly humidity that goes along with it have arrived. Maybe it still feels like spring if all you do is sit outside and watch the grass grow. But after running and mowing the grass this morning (because my grass grows like it's on steroids), I can attest to the fact that I am not a summer-lover. It just plain sucks. (Not to mention that 15 minutes out in the sun with my gingers and they were already turning an alarming shade of pink.)
• I've sold all but five of Sam's cloth diapers. My hands can only take so many dunks in a poopy toilet before I start to question how much my sanity is worth. (And if you're curious, it's worth about $17 every two weeks- the cost of a box of Huggies.) His legs are too skinny (leaks leaks leaks), his poops are just cowpies (you're welcome for the visual), and he refuses to poop at preschool (what am I really paying them for if not for a solid diaper change?). This all led me to sell my diapers at approximately $2 under what I paid for them (holler!) and now I'm just CDing Molly (who, by the way, is a very good pooper).
• To prove that you can sell just about anything on craigslist (not just stuff your kids used to poop in!), I recently sold a kid-sized table and chair I found in someone's trash as well as some free printables I got off Pinterest.
• I ate a small carton of hummus and approximately 8 whole carrots and 2 stalks of celery by myself the other night for dinner. I've neglected my good friend hummus for so long that I felt we should catch up all in one night. I paid for it the next day.
• I am really enjoying running.
• Yesterday evening I vacuumed my entire house without the hose attached. I am an expert at rearranging dirt.
• I just bought Molly all new summer clothes and they arrived in the mail this past week. I bought Sam some summer clothes off craigslist and they came packaged in a scented trashbag. Not to play favorites or anything, but Molly has quit pooping up her back and Sam wiped his green smoothie mustache on his cute white tshirt today. I rest my case.

And some cute pictures because you deserve it.

Planking like a boss

She fell over and then just continued to lay there and watch tv.

A day in the life

It should come as no surprise to anyone that I don't keep baby books for my children. I started one for Sam back when I was pregnant and delusional and thought babies actually slept all day. It was mostly filled out up until he was born. And then I couldn't believe that people made time for that when they could be horizontal and/or sawing some logs. It just never felt like a priority to me. I hear about other moms getting their panties in a twist because they aren't caught up on the latest stats. How big was Timmy's head circumference at his last appointment? Where did that flipping 26 month sticker go for his monthly picture? How much of his alphabet can he say out of order? I'm not judging anyone who records these things. I am actually proud of you if you manage to pull this sort of thing off. I can say with certainty that I would erupt into some sort of anxiety attack over filling the stupid thing out. And when I feel guilty about not having all of his vital stats written down, I ask myself if I truly give a shamrock shake about my exact weight at 14 months old. (No. No I do not.) What would I care to know about that time? Certainly not my weight. I would like to know what a typical day looked like for 14-month-old me. So I hope that Sam and Molly have the same sort of mindset/outlook whenever the day comes that they are interested in knowing more about their early years. (Because you know they won't be able to crack open a perfectly handwritten baby book. Ahem.)

ANYWAYS (that escalated quickly), the above paragraph coupled with Steve not fully knowing our new daily routine coupled with the fact that I'll want to remember (maybe?) what life was like on a random Monday during the deployment got me to thinking that I should document a "typical" day. Obviously every day here is different. We go to different places and do different things depending on the weather, if we're out of bananas (emergency code level RED DEATHCON 6), or if it's a preschool day (choirs of angels singing with beams of light shining down, glitter, rainbows, etc). Enough chit-chat. Here's a day in the life, with one photograph (or more if we're at the park) taken every hour.

7am- Mommy wakes up. Cannot remember what was so intriguing on HGTV last night that possessed me to stay up past ten.
Vow to never do that again. Ever.
Coffee.
Survey dishes that I put off doing last night.
Ignore dishes.
Drink more coffee.
Putz around on the internet, and try to hock a few more things around my house on craigslist.

8am- The tiny people have decided to join the land of the living. Time to pretend like I haven't been up for an hour wasting time.
Scramble to fix their breakfasts and lay out some diapers.

"No pitchur! No pitchur!" Bless his heart. I photo-document everything these days for Steve. And being soaked in pee was not something he wanted documented, I guess.

The princess eating her breakfast

Ignore the pink sippy cup. It's a long story.

9am- Molly playing with her "toys" and waiting for our friends to show up so we can go jog and play at a new playground.

Real toys are overrated.

At the playground with our BFF's.

And I will just go ahead and apologize for the onslaught of park pictures. I took 128. Yikes. (But I am not posting 128, so don't "x" me out yet.)

Shockingly, she did not feast on this all-you-can-eat buffet of woodchips.

Notice the new haircut? Doesn't he look 12?

I love these two together so much.

Summer shoes are in the mail!

I'm not sure if he could have been any happier.

My mighty one-year-old

Wheeeeeee!!

Aggie, please move to Korea with us? Please?

Are you eating chips, Levi? (Yeah Molly, woodchips.)

Killing me with cute.

Somewhere in there was 10am. We jogged home from the park and said bye to our friends.

11am- Lunch.

Cinnamon raisin Ezekial bread. Yummmmm. And nothing goes better with that than some sweet potatoes, right?

"Counting" his pea crisps- "too, nine, ate, free, NINE!" (2, 9, 8, 3, 9!)

12pm- Vacuum. Pointless.

Wash dishes while kids play. (My only piece of solid advice to first-time parents is to be sure to ignore your children enough. Not NEGLECT, just ignore every so often. It gives them a chance to figure out how to play on their own, thus giving you a chance to wash the dishes without screaming and insanity happening in the background.)

I love it when they can just play and be happy.

And voila! Dishes are done.

Pre-naptime Baby Einstein. "Myer's show," says Sam. He is clearly too big and grown to learn about farm stuff. Molly, on the other hand, can't get enough it seems.

1pm- SWEET BLESSED NAPTIME.
I promptly waste most of it by going through the day's pictures and listing things on craigslist.

2pm- Text with Steve for a little bit before he goes to bed. Waste more of naptime doing nothing productive.

3pm- Naptime is OVER. Time to gear up for the home stretch. Remind myself that it's all downhill to bedtime.

"Schammy big boi! Ugh HEEVEE!" (heavy)

Sam actually woke up before Molly (kinda rare) and was in a very nice mood, so we played together in his room until Molly woke up.

He's a flipping genius, folks.

He will snuggle if you bribe him with a book. And will even take a picture with his sweaty mama. Although he did tell me, "Esh nashtee." (It's nasty.) Yes, I know. I wasted all my free time not showering. My apologies.

4pm- Molly wakes up a bit before 4 and we head outside to play with the neighbors.

I thought you said you were gonna wash these, Mom...

Sam, eating our neighbor out of house and home, as usual...

Why is there sun in my eyes? Shouldn't someone do something about that?

Neighborhood work horse aka lady charmer

5pm- Dinner.

It's a shame we live all of 1.5 miles from the side of the sun, or else this picture might have turned out nicely.

Deep in thought with a turkey dog.

Clean up dinner, wash dishes, fold laundry, vacuum again. Blah blah blah.

6pm- Marvel at how we can actually live this close to the sun and not burn to a crisp or lose our vision entirely. (With two gingers, this is quite spectacular!)

Bathtime!! The only time they're cuter is when they're asleep! Ha!

7pm- Bedtime.

Every night he is so pissed he has to go to bed. He always throws someone out of his crib. And then instantly regrets it.

Every night we say prayers together and I let him say who we're praying for. The other night: "Dahdee, Mommee, Aubie, Schammy." (I point to Molly.) "Myerrrrrrr..."

(Side note- I will cry and cry and cut the person who teaches him how to say Molly's name properly.)

Finally, stinky sweaty grungy Mommy takes a shower.

That green glow just makes you wanna get clean, right?

8pm- Dinner for me.

Don't barf in your mouth- that's chicken with basil pesto and chicken sausage. I will talk about losing weight and eating all chicken to do it (apparently) in another post.

I didn't photo-document the rest of the night, but it basically went like this:

Sit on the couch and text friends and half-watch HGTV and then email Steve and suddenly realize that it's ELEVEN O'CLOCK and oh crap I have these built-in alarm clocks that will be sounding soon! Change sheets and remind myself to do something about that mound of clothes on the floor and go to bed.

And that, my friends, is a day in the life. Obviously the endless diaper changes and hand-washing and timeouts and sippy cup refills and other general maintenance-type things were left out, but that was our day in a nutshell. I'm glad every day is different, but with the same general routine. There is never a dull moment, that's for sure.

So now I blog in bullets apparently

Is anybody still reading? Hello? I have taken a blog siesta of sorts. For the past two months, I have been in a serious funk. Obviously I blame it 100% on this deployment. Had I written anything, it would have come out very whiny (my apologies to everyone who received whiny emails from me) and really not something you'd like to read. Who knows, this might still come out whiny, but at least you've been warned.

To recap the past six weeks or two months or however long it's been since I've been here:

• I ran my first 5k with Skinny Stephanie. It snowed and I wore mascara I'd never worn before, so it looked like I cried through the entire thing. (Although my fat was definitely crying.)
• Molly is now one year old. People ask me if I can believe it. And yes, I can. I have been here for every single minute of it. And it felt like a full year to me. Maybe even two if I didn't know any better.
• Sam is starting to speak REAL LIFE WORDS and in sentence-form sometimes. Blows my mind every single time I hear it.
• If you are what you eat, my kids are destined to be oven-baked chicken nuggets. I have zero desire to cook anything. (Other than a nugget, obviously.) 
• On a related note, Molly refuses to be spoon-fed anymore. And it's just as well, because I have zero desire to spoon-feed her. So a typical meal now consists of me placing appropriately-sized food on her tray and then her flinging it off with a crazed look in her eye. Then I set her on the floor and she eats her food down there. Again, I DO NOT CARE. This might scare or even offend pre-deployment Jenn, but as of right now, two shits are not being given about the eating situation here. So long as they are properly nourished, I don't particularly care if they eat the food off of a plate or the side of a plastic dump truck. 
• I am so thankful for my friends. They are real-life heroes that save my sanity daily. Sarah comes over at least once a week to let me run errands sans kids. Like this past week when I decided that payday Friday before Easter was a good time to buy Easter dinner groceries at the commissary in the rain? Yeah, some sanity was definitely saved. She also brings her husband over to do yardwork that I really should have done sometime during the fall months of 2012. Aggie always invites us over to dinner and cooks delicious food and deals with listening to my kids whine about random things like being stuck at the top of her stairs, or falling down her stairs (SAM OMG), or how I didn't pack 15 squeezies for them to eat. My neighbor Vickie can regularly detect when I need saving and lets me pass my kids to her over the fence for some babysitting. I cannot imagine what I would do without her. And sweet Lauren sends the BEST care packages at just the right time. I swear she could not have planned that last package out any better. It came on a day when I seriously needed some help. And she delivered- in the form of good wine. So many blogger friends have texted and emailed to check on me and I sincerely appreciate every last word of encouragement and support! It feels like we're so close to the end of this deployment, yet when every day seems to last eleventy billion hours (minus naptime of course), it still feels hopelessly far off. 
• We're still chugging along with preschool, although this past week was spring break. And I feel like I can speak for every mother in town when I say- the man that created this "spring" "break" needs a good shanking. "Spring" consisted of two snow days and a bunch more rainy days. "Break" is laughable because what do these babies need a break from? Coloring? Listening to stories? Ridiculous. We all know that preschool is glorified daycare. Let's just call it like it is. No spring break for preschool. That is crazy. 
• Totally unrelated to the last bullet point: My kids watch tv regularly now. I held out with Sam until he was two. And even then he didn't seem to care about it one way or another. But somewhere around the beginning of the year, we have started watching about 30 minutes of tv before bedtime. Molly is hooked. Sam asks for "shows" and "Nina" (the nighttime lady on Sprout) and Jesus take the wheel, I know far too much about Caillou's daily life and I can't help but wonder why he has no hair. I feel like I've crossed into new mom territory and I kinda can't wait til Steve gets home so there can be a different distraction from 6-6:30 and this current phase can end. (Kid tv makes me wanna stab my eyes outttttttt.)
• As much as I hate this deployment and as much as I miss Steve, I am thankful every day that I have something worth missing so much. I cannot wait to get him home.

And since I feel like we're as caught up as we need to be (trust me, you don't wanna hear everything- these were the highlights..), maybe you could ask me some questions so I can write about something again soon. My mind is not in writing mode lately, and I feel like that's part of my sanity issues. I need to speak/write in complete sentences that aren't about poop and how my cloth diapers are repelling pee and how I stepped on an old turdlet the other day and how Molly has been sick for a solid MONTH now and and and... You see why I haven't posted in a bit. This can get really whiny, really fast. So ask away.