I'll do anything for a little alone time

Where did we leave off last? Oh yes, with the Great Flood of 2017, also known as the near-daily afternoon rainstorm.

back yard

and the front

Obviously, Louisiana is known for being somewhat of a swamp, but we are really getting the full experience what with our yard sloping down towards our house in both directions and all. I did check with our renter's insurance though and flood damage is covered! Yay!

Steve's last day of leave lined up perfectly with the kickoff for the summer reading program at the library, so he stayed home with Will while he napped and I took the big kids up to the library. They had a giveaway for some splash park tickets and the librarian let Molly pull a number out of the bucket... turns out she pulled our number. Whoops! So at some point, maybe, we will head on over to Shreveport and let everybody cool off. I still haven't figured out how to log their hours on the website. Molly is in a pre-readers group so I'm not quite sure how I'm supposed to list her book, the time it took her to "read" it, and then her full review on the story. Frankly, I'm not invested enough to go to that sort of trouble for the prizes involved (which the kids are HIGHLY JAZZED about) and include- yo-yo, tshirt, water bottle, kazoo, etc. Y'all just stay in your room for quiet time while Will naps the entire summer and Mama'll take y'all to the Dollar Tree and let you go BUCK WILD. Promise.

We spend most evenings sitting on the circle, chatting with our neighbors, eating some sort of fruit (is cold watermelon the best or what?!), and watching the kids get dirty. Will rarely ends the day with an entire outfit on his person.

On Friday, Specialist Steve went back to work.

Doesn't have quite the same ring to it as Captain D, but I do like reminding him of how special he is. ("You are so special, you are the specialest Specialist I ever did see.") I tend to crack myself up frequently since my daily visits with Monica have ended. If I don't laugh, I'll cry.

Over the weekend, we ran a bunch of errands and did lots of stuff around the house. I watched as everyone washed my car for me. I felt like a queen! Minus the fanning of the palms and a beverage service and the fact that I still had to make dinner that everyone complained about.

Will spent most of the car wash sampling bubbles. That soap sure looked like it would taste like green apple. Sadly, it did not. And a sprayer to the face didn't make him any happier either.

On the bright side, he was able to shed his clothes quickly, which always makes him happy.

We got the kids a new box of chalk on our big trip to Walmart (Steve- "It's a 48 pack too so don't say we never do nothing nice for y'all.") Probably 37 seconds after this photo was snapped, every neighborhood child within a three mile radius was swarming the chalk and it was never quite this pretty again. Lots of mangled pieces. Oh well. Everyone had a good time. Willie ended the day completely naked (minus the diaper) and very VERY dirty. Baths are well earned around here.

Sam and Molly colored pictures that evening. I had to take pictures and send to the recipients because I'm not sure I'll ever locate a stamp or envelope to actually send the drawings, but I'll do my best. Obviously Sam drew Colt's basketball hoop and house and tree. We miss them so much!!

On Sunday it rained all day long.

It broke long enough in the evening for us to get outside and run around for a little bit, thank goodness. We drove into town and got some donuts though because our neighbor had been talking about them and we haven't had donuts in forEVER.

Anyways, the next day at 8am I had my first appointment with the OB here on post. Steve was excused from PT as I have had zero luck in finding a sitter and I told him I'd be back before he had to report to work at 9. I was up before everyone else in the house and happily unloaded the dishwasher and set the coffee pot, just knowing that I'd make myself my usual breakfast when I got back home. With a few minutes to spare after throwing in some laundry, I grabbed a leftover donut from the day before and then drove my happy ass on over to the hospital.

my first legit alone time in months

I met with the OB who was going over my history and previous pregnancies. I mentioned frequently that I have very textbook pregnancies and deliveries and my only real symptom of pregnancy is being lightheaded. Nothing ever really comes of it, but it really annoys me and sometimes prevents me from doing certain things (taking the kids to church by myself, for example). She noted it and said that it's probably because of the climate change and to stay hydrated, etc. I laid down on the examining table and told her that I was feeling incredibly lightheaded right then. Like seeing spots and fuzz and everything. She calmly told me that everything was fine and if I was going to pass out, lying down would be the best time to do it. But uh, no thanks, I do not want to pass out AT ALL so if I could just lie on my side or something that would be great. I laid on my side and she s-l-o-w-l-y sat me back to a seated position with the automatic examining table. I had a dress on and no undies at this point as I had the GB swab done and told her I just needed to sit there for a minute more as I still was not feeling normal at all. I was very hot and clammy and my head just felt so thick and fuzzy. I told her that it normally goes away in a few minutes and I was just going to stay seated if that was ok. She looked concerned and told me she was going to drop off my swab with a nurse and would be right back. "I'll leave the door cracked; yell if you need anything before I get back, ok?" Well.

Apparently when she came back, I had already blacked out and was jerking about. I remember nothing of the sort of course, as I thought I was taking a hard nap while the kids would not stop yelling. GEEZ CAN'T Y'ALL EVER LET MAMA JUST SLEEP FOR A MINUTE MY GAHD.

But when I opened my eyes, the doctor was leaned over me and there were suddenly a lot of people all around me and I spotted my panties still wadded up on top of my shoes over on the floor across the room and it was probably right about then that I realized what had happened... They transferred me over to labor and delivery for monitoring and I stayed there for about two hours while they listened to baby (perfect) and watched my blood pressure (finally went back to normal after bottoming out). How freaking embarrassing. I mean, I want alone time more than wine at this point (AND THAT IS A VERY STRONGLY WORDED STATEMENT RIGHT THERE), but I don't really wanna have to have some sort of medical emergency in order to get it. I also felt bad that here I was eating graham crackers and sipping apple juice while Steve was having to call in and explain that he couldn't come into work because his wife blah blah blah. The timing of all of this could not have been worse. And I blame it entirely on that donut.

My usual breakfast for the past 9ish months:

eggs, avocado (only because it was that one hour where it had ripened and was in danger of going bad), and a sad english muffin with whipped cream cheese attempting to fill the place of where a bagel should go

My body being used to eating that first thing in the morning, in addition to not having had a donut in many many months, in addition to eating the donut on an empty stomach probably caused my blood sugar spike, blood pressure, panty-droppin' blackout.

But the doctors, not knowing this backstory, just assumed that I am incredibly stupid and have never lived with intense humidity (lolz), have no clue how to properly hydrate myself, and have the nutritional education of a rock. And I don't wanna brag, but I don't have to pee every 48 seconds because I don't know how to properly hydrate. Anyways, embarrassing all around but at least everyone there knows me now so maybe I can work those connections for a speedy epidural come baby time or something.

On Tuesday, we went to the first summer PWOC meeting. There was childcare provided (I'm not gonna lie y'all, that was like, 50% of the motivation I had to get dressed and out the door that day) and even though Will has never been left alone without me or Steve or some family member he knows, I thought what better time than the present. I told the ladies in the baby room about his "condition" (being a mama's boy is no joke) and bolted outta there the minute his eyes were off of me. Approximately 20 seconds later I could hear his screams fill the hallway. Lovely. I told them I'd come get him if he didn't stop crying. Sam and Molly were perfectly content to color and play games in the "big kids" room and they didn't want to leave when it was time to go. Willie, however, was brought to me, puffy-eyed, red-faced, and trying to catch his breath after about ten minutes. Luckily, this traumatic experience caused him to be quite clingy and snuggly and he sat very still with me for most of the meeting. The last part of it, when he wanted to get down and wander all over creation, I tried to pacify him by letting him take 6,000 photos just like this one on my phone.

Nice table leader: "And how can we pray for you this week?"
Me: "Oh my gaaaaaaaaahd I need patience or a sitter or a pregnancy-approved box of wine or SUMTHIN."
Nice table leader, writing something in her notes: "I will definitely be praying for you.... or sending a random CPS well check to your house, one of the two, the Lord be with you..."

I did meet lots of really nice people there, including another mom who is due one day after me with her fourth as well. She even lives a street away so maybe we can converge circuses on a playground at some point when we're done waddling everywhere.

And that afternoon I picked up a brand new breast pump (free from Tricare!!) and we immediately celebrated by getting drinks at Sonic happy hour. Nothing makes me happier than a half priced sweet tea amen. We did not exit the medical supply store without Molly LOUDLY asking why those ladies didn't suck all the milk outta my boobies. As we passed construction workers who were suddenly staring (at my chest? my squad full of children? did I remember to put on pants today?), I reminded Molly that that's what the PUMP was for and that's why we went into that store in the first place and omg formula is looking really attractive to me right now.

If they get to Steve first in the mornings, he lets them watch Tom and Jerry. It's no wonder he's the fun parent. It's also no wonder he lets them watch that crap when he doesn't have to deal with the behavior that it causes for the rest of the day. Yesterday was a tough one FOR SURE.

more unimpressed Willie selfies on my phone, in bursts of course, because why take one photo when you could take 87 in 3 seconds and it makes that cool noise

He's so cute though, and I definitely dread the day I have to chop those curls off.

The kids and I ran some errands that afternoon since Steve got stuck on staff duty and successfully did our first craigslist run in west central Louisiana. Woop woop! Got some patio furniture (needs love) for the back porch and then we hit up Walmart for some random odds and ends. The end of the day was pretty horrible with Sasspants and the Gang and it was very early baths and bedtimes after I slapped together some Idontgiveashit pb&j sandwiches.

We got new neighbors attached to us (unfortunately) and they were up slinging their kids into the shared wall until well past 1130, which coincided perfectly with this baby strangling me with acid. At least I could text Steve about it since he was awake. I didn't feel quite as bad when Will woke up screaming at 630 this morning. Y'all need to be made aware of how thin these walls are and maybe BE MORE CONSIDERATE during bedtime hours. We headed outside to wake up the rest of the neighbors of course.

Will did a nice job of getting bloody before 9am.

The second bandaid was applied maybe ten minutes after the first and I literally just slapped it on over the first one. This kid needs bubble wrap more than bandaids. Steve came home and went to bed and I'm not sure there's anything harder than keeping these three kids quiet while someone sleeps upstairs. We ran some errands and then played outside some more and then enforced quiet time. Which is mostly me clomping up and down the creaky stairs whisper-hissing at everyone to BE QUIET OR ELSE. I'm sure that is super helpful to those that are actually sleeping. Anyways, the wannabe quiet time is over and I'm back on duty. Until next time...