I am going to mentally will this baby to stay in for at least two more weeks

Let me just start off this post by saying, I am not ok with this.

I know plenty of people dread the end of pregnancy, and you'd think I'd be "over it" being so pregnant in this humid hell of Louisiana, but y'all- babies are just so EASY when they live IN YOUR BELLY. And I am still getting the house all situated and have not put forth any (ANY!) mental energy thinking about this baby! Besides steering clear of wine and evil donuts, I feel like pregnancy is a flippin' breeze compared to taking care of another child. I have been getting plenty of "Almost there!" "Hang in there! You're so close!" "It will be over soon!" and my first instinct is to be like, AHHHHHHHH SHADDAP THAT CAN'T BE TRUE I'M NOT READY! Instead I'm like, "well yes, that is true, I'll be fine to wait as long as he wants though! Haha!" But in all seriousness, I'm hoping to go to at least 41 weeks with this kid so I can maybe buy some diapers.
Things we have done for Baby #4:

• washed infant carseat and reassembled (have not installed it in the suburban yet because it is gonna throw off the whole carseat configuration and we won't be needing it the moment I deliver and we live 5 minutes from the hospital so NOT A PRIORITY)
• assembled new baby crib (which he won't even use for months so that now seems kinda useless)
• washed swaddle blankets and swaddlemes
• procured brand new breast pump and sterilized the nine bottles that I found on Amazon (just going on a wish and a prayer that those don't contain that poison plastic that all moms avoid because society tells us to)

And.... yeah I think that's about all I've done. I did hit up a few yard sales with Molly this past Saturday in an attempt to find some baby clothes for this kid because he is being born in the opposite season of his male predecessors and I don't really have much for him by way of clothes, but I figure I do lots of laundry, so as long as he's got about 10 onesies, he's good. Plus, it's hot, so he won't need to wear much, right?

Things I need to do for Baby #4:

• buy wine (he needs me to be sane like I need me to be sane)
• buy diapers
• pack a hospital bag or something
• come up with a name

 Nothing major obviously, just some minor details.

We have been hitting up our neighborhood pool so much since we moved in. It's super nice and always feels clean (key for a germaphobe like myself) and Sam and Molly have gotten so comfortable swimming in the short time we've been here, so that has been really nice to see. If I can ever get all of this #*&^!@#) CYS paperwork completed, I can register them for swim lessons in July and we can eliminate hauling puddle jumpers to the pool, but for now, it's nice going and knowing that they're afloat.

Molly has been a bit of a handful lately. I'm really glad my mom is coming in this weekend because I need HELP. I have no clue as to how to effectively discipline her. All I know is that I look forward to bedtime like a marathon runner looks forward to the finish line and I am not only exhausted but just upset with myself for not knowing what to do with her. She needs something and I have no clue what it is. I'm sure adding a baby is not the something she's looking for, but I'm hoping she can bond with him and be a big help and maybe just fine tune that big sister role.

Anything that can be delivered to my front door these days, will be delivered to my front door. I know the neighbors are whispering but OMG I am not lugging this circus out in this heat to peruse the Walmart and see IF we can find what we're looking for. No thanks. Online shopping 4EVA. I got this water table for Will but the big two seemed to take to it more than Will did. It's so funny to listen to the games they come up with.

Sam and Molly share a room here and the closet is pretty bare! So it's kinda been turned into an area where they're allowed to dump the six frillion Legos and not have to pick them up every night. Just close that door! I wouldn't go so far as to say that Willie sleeps better having his own room, but eh, at this point, whatever. I'm so far gone from sleeping through the night anyway, what does it really matter?

Sam is so torn between needing goggles and needing sunglasses at the pool. Cracks me up. He also does a perfect cannonball and an impressive pencil jump. (Molly perfected her cannonball yesterday after only three attempts. She does not approach the belly flop with the same enthusiasm that Sam does though.)

Sam is desperate to get his training wheels off like the other kids on the circle. Steve and I are like, please, it's so hot. Can we put this off until winter.

Speaking of Steve, I gotta brag on the man for a minute. He not only moved us completely down here, doing all of the sweaty, dirty work of hauling boxes and lugging furniture, but he has made time to take Sam fishing multiple times, play catch in the evenings, grilling us dinner literally every night (because if it can't be grilled outside then we are basically ordering pizza), and just whittling down his honey-do list that never shrinks. He assembles it all and does it all and bathes all those kids every night. We both dream about a vacation that we know won't happen for at least another year or two, but he really deserves one. Nothing has come easy, but he's still trying to make the best of things and line things up at work to set himself up for better opportunities in the future. Super proud of my baby daddy, ok?

Sunday best! Will is cracking me up lookin' like a little country club stud in his boat shoes and curly hair and collared shirt. Church on post is at 9, and we tried a church off post this past weekend that felt more "churchy" so I think we might end up there. Plus it starts later, so the morning felt much less hectic.

I am loving these Southern rain storms. It's been so long since I've listened to thunder and heavy rain and tornado sirens. Ahhhh..... sounds like home. We are supposedly getting a tropical storm tomorrow and Thursday, so you know if I ever feel inclined to have a baby early (has never happened before), it will happen then. Stay tuned.

AHEM MOLLY

I saw this on facebook and everyone who commented chose B and can I just say if you choose anything other than A, I am really not sure we can consider each other friends because all of that stuff is so easy to do AFTER YOU'VE SLEPT 8 FULL HOURS AMEN?!

Will just observing the big two playing with the water table. Not exactly full of interest. Also, my ripped cushions on my craigslist chairs have been replaced and we can feel less disgusting sitting outside on them, amen hallelujah.

Sometimes they play so nicely together. Sometimes.

Another Will toy that the bigger two love- BUBBLE MACHINE

Awwwwww shee-ut, you know it's serious when the UPS man has to back the truck up into your yard to make a delivery. (Literally ordered a guest bed online. Oh yes I did. And it came rolled up like a burrito in a box and we'll find out later today if it rolls out and inflates like Amazon says it will. STAY TUNED.)

So many cliffhangers in this post! Can you even stand it?!

You can find us in the pool almost as often as you can find me running to the bathroom or fetching kid snacks or telling someone no. (aka ALL THE TIME)

My squinty-eyed crew at church on Father's Day. Will really needs a haircut, I know. I just haven't found anyone I trust yet to do it. His curls. THOSE CURLS. I can't just let any regular ol' barber take a whack at them. Let's be honest, I'm definitely going to cry when it happens because he's still six months old to me (what else could possibly explain all the shitty sleeping he does?) and the curls are just a baby part of him that I'm not ready to give up. (I'll gladly give up the horrible sleeping though.) It would probably be smart to take care of that before Baby #4 arrives because I doubt extra postpartum hormones are really gonna help the process at all and he will truly end up with a mullet of curls if we go off my mama feelings alone. *sigh* I'll look into it, OKAY.

I have to haul this entire circus with me to my OB appointment tomorrow because I still can't find a sitter so that should be fun. It will likely be tropical storming as well, so I think I'll call that my workout and maybe bribe everyone with Sonic ice cream cones if they're good. I'm hoping to make it to the big city this week sometime to return some stuff at Old Navy and maybe eat at Chick fil A and hit up the Target to buy diapers, but the kids have physicals on Thursday (another step in this endless CYS registration process JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL), so maybe Friday? I seriously cannot believe I will be having a baby soon. Steve and I thought we had a name picked out but then I started expressing doubt over the middle name and that turned into a fight about the first name and one week out and this kid is officially nameless. We are not so brilliant as to come up with something great at the hospital either so, HALP. If you have any good boy names that go with Sam, Molly, and Will, are simple to spell, cannot be confused gender-wise, and are generally plain and normal, shoot them my way.

Off to fine tune the commissary list. I have absolutely no doubts that I will buy a lot of cereal my kids have no business eating but will talk me into anyway. Happy Tuesday, folks.

We interrupt our regularly scheduled programming..

I've gotten into a rut lately of just posting life updates, which is fine, that's what my blog is mostly for, but I thought I'd ignore the backlog of photos on my phone and do a fun little questionnaire just to switch things up.

Look Ma! No hands! My baby belly is like a hydration station.

1.What bill do you hate paying the most?  
Anything car-related - I realize how essential the car is to our daily lives, but replacing a Johnson rod for $4k or buying new tires is such a drag.

2.Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner? 
Hmmm... given that we haven't been on a date in well over a year, I'd say probably somewhere in South Korea. 

3. What do you really want to be doing right now? 
Sleeping, eating, or lying on a beach somewhere with no responsibilities aka children

4. How many colleges did you attend? 
two

5. Why did you choose the shirt you have on now? 
Mostly because it covers the majority of my belly and somewhat matches my shorts

6. Thoughts on gas prices now? 
Not terrible! I think I was in high school when gas went to $2/gallon, so to be $2.05/gallon now doesn't seem too shabby. It's a damn shame that my suburban wants like, 40 gallons though. Then things get shabby reeeeeeal quick-like.

7. First thought when the alarm goes off in the morning? 
Since my alarm is a child screaming to be lifted out of a crib and there is no snooze? First thought is usually, "Shit, I shoulda went to bed earlier." Second thought immediately following, "I gotta peeeeeeee!!!!"

8. Last thought you have before you go to bed? 
"Shit I shoulda went to bed earlier. Dammit I need to pee one more time."

9. Do you miss being a child? 
every damn day

10. What errand/chore do you despise the most? 
Probably the entire laundry process, despite machines doing most of the work for me. Why are there so many steps?? #lazy

11. Up early or sleep in? 
My reality is up early, my fantasy is sleeping in.

12. Found love yet? 
four (almost five) times over

13. Favorite lunch meat? 
Pregnant Jenny wants garlic bologna (but hasn't gotten it), but regular Jenn settles for roasted garlic herb chicken (whatever cheap brand the commissary deli carries)

14. What do you get at Walmart every time? 
We normally don't go to Walmart, but they're the only store around here that sells the Luna protein bars that we like, so every time I go, I pick up a few boxes.

15. Beach or lake? 
Definitely beach - I feel dirty just thinking about a lake.

16. Is marriage outdated? 
If being in an outdated marriage is wrong, then I don't wanna be right.

17. What famous person would you like to have dinner with?
Famous people are so strange, I'm not sure I'd want to waste a dinner with one of them, to be honest. Maybe the Pope? I have so many questions. But then I'd have very little time to eat. And if the food isn't that great, that's fine, but I'm assuming if I'm having dinner with someone famous, then the food is fabulous, in which case, I'd rather not spend time talking because I could be eating really great food cooked by someone else. Which is a rarity for me. So I guess I have lots of conditions surrounding this dinner, so good thing it's only hypothetical, right?

18. Ever crashed your vehicle? 
Only once. But sadly, it was the greatest vehicle ever - baby blue Chevy station wagon aka The Low Rider.

20. Strangest place you've brushed your teeth? 
Who knows?? A boat? An airport? This question should be stricken from the record it's so dumb.

21. Somewhere you've never been but want to go? 
Tahiti*/Fiji*/Marshall Islands*
(*no children)

22. At this point in your life would you want to start a new career? 
There are plenty of times when that looks ridiculously appealing. Lunch breaks, SOLO bathroom breaks, hell, a break period. I normally think about job hunting when I get tunnel vision about being a stay at home mom and how this phase will never. ever. end. But eventually I snap out of it and realize that these babies are growing into children and one day this career I've got won't be so hands on and so incredibly labor intensive and there will come a time when I'm not growing someone on my front while holding another on my hip and maybe (or so I'm told) I'll miss it. 

23. How old are you? 
30 (in my mind I still feel 24)

24. Do you have a go to person? 
Yes. A few. And I feel sorry for them/pray for them all the time for having to be my go to persons.

25. Are you where you want to be in life? 
I trust that I'm where I'm supposed to be. I don't have a lot of free time to think about where I'd rather be (outside of #21, of course) but I know that things always work out and where we are is always the best place to be.

26. Growing up what were your favorite cartoons? 
Scooby Doo, Jetsons, Flintstones

27. What about you do you think has changed since you were a teenager? 
Gah, probably maturity level, perspective, and the size of my ass. (not happy about that last one)

28. Looking back at high school were they the best years of your life? 
I think they were really fun, but I'd never go back in time to repeat them, so I guess that's a no from me. Currently looking at our Korea years through rose-tinted glasses. 

29. Are there times you still feel like a kid? 
Pretty much every single day. I wonder what my mom's making us for dinner, when I'll be done with this exhaustingly long babysitting gig (seriously though, is their mother ever coming home?!), and just know that my dad already checked the front door to make sure it's locked before bed. I'm too young to be worrying about any of that stuff!

30. Did you have a pager? 
I never had a pager back when pagers were a thing but I pretty much treat the phone part of my iPhone as a pager. Mailbox is intentionally full, send a text, please stop calling me, I never possess the free time to sit around and talk at leisure. Unless you are my mother, in which case, I know you don't mind hearing all the background noise that my children produce.

31. Was there a hangout spot when you were a teenager? 
I'm not sure. I was too busy being a band nerd or working or volunteering to get Honor Society points.

32. Were you the type of kid you'd want your children to hang out with? 
Yes, absolutely. Until about 16 and then no absolutely not.

33. Was there a teacher or authority figure that stood out to you? 
Just my mama! The best teacher I'm lucky enough to still have. 

34. Do you tell stories that start with when I was your age? 
Only in front of Steve so I can get a gratuitous laugh, and only when Sam starts acting like the 80s were the Stone Ages.

I'll do anything for a little alone time

Where did we leave off last? Oh yes, with the Great Flood of 2017, also known as the near-daily afternoon rainstorm.

back yard

and the front

Obviously, Louisiana is known for being somewhat of a swamp, but we are really getting the full experience what with our yard sloping down towards our house in both directions and all. I did check with our renter's insurance though and flood damage is covered! Yay!

Steve's last day of leave lined up perfectly with the kickoff for the summer reading program at the library, so he stayed home with Will while he napped and I took the big kids up to the library. They had a giveaway for some splash park tickets and the librarian let Molly pull a number out of the bucket... turns out she pulled our number. Whoops! So at some point, maybe, we will head on over to Shreveport and let everybody cool off. I still haven't figured out how to log their hours on the website. Molly is in a pre-readers group so I'm not quite sure how I'm supposed to list her book, the time it took her to "read" it, and then her full review on the story. Frankly, I'm not invested enough to go to that sort of trouble for the prizes involved (which the kids are HIGHLY JAZZED about) and include- yo-yo, tshirt, water bottle, kazoo, etc. Y'all just stay in your room for quiet time while Will naps the entire summer and Mama'll take y'all to the Dollar Tree and let you go BUCK WILD. Promise.

We spend most evenings sitting on the circle, chatting with our neighbors, eating some sort of fruit (is cold watermelon the best or what?!), and watching the kids get dirty. Will rarely ends the day with an entire outfit on his person.

On Friday, Specialist Steve went back to work.

Doesn't have quite the same ring to it as Captain D, but I do like reminding him of how special he is. ("You are so special, you are the specialest Specialist I ever did see.") I tend to crack myself up frequently since my daily visits with Monica have ended. If I don't laugh, I'll cry.

Over the weekend, we ran a bunch of errands and did lots of stuff around the house. I watched as everyone washed my car for me. I felt like a queen! Minus the fanning of the palms and a beverage service and the fact that I still had to make dinner that everyone complained about.

Will spent most of the car wash sampling bubbles. That soap sure looked like it would taste like green apple. Sadly, it did not. And a sprayer to the face didn't make him any happier either.

On the bright side, he was able to shed his clothes quickly, which always makes him happy.

We got the kids a new box of chalk on our big trip to Walmart (Steve- "It's a 48 pack too so don't say we never do nothing nice for y'all.") Probably 37 seconds after this photo was snapped, every neighborhood child within a three mile radius was swarming the chalk and it was never quite this pretty again. Lots of mangled pieces. Oh well. Everyone had a good time. Willie ended the day completely naked (minus the diaper) and very VERY dirty. Baths are well earned around here.

Sam and Molly colored pictures that evening. I had to take pictures and send to the recipients because I'm not sure I'll ever locate a stamp or envelope to actually send the drawings, but I'll do my best. Obviously Sam drew Colt's basketball hoop and house and tree. We miss them so much!!

On Sunday it rained all day long.

It broke long enough in the evening for us to get outside and run around for a little bit, thank goodness. We drove into town and got some donuts though because our neighbor had been talking about them and we haven't had donuts in forEVER.

Anyways, the next day at 8am I had my first appointment with the OB here on post. Steve was excused from PT as I have had zero luck in finding a sitter and I told him I'd be back before he had to report to work at 9. I was up before everyone else in the house and happily unloaded the dishwasher and set the coffee pot, just knowing that I'd make myself my usual breakfast when I got back home. With a few minutes to spare after throwing in some laundry, I grabbed a leftover donut from the day before and then drove my happy ass on over to the hospital.

my first legit alone time in months

I met with the OB who was going over my history and previous pregnancies. I mentioned frequently that I have very textbook pregnancies and deliveries and my only real symptom of pregnancy is being lightheaded. Nothing ever really comes of it, but it really annoys me and sometimes prevents me from doing certain things (taking the kids to church by myself, for example). She noted it and said that it's probably because of the climate change and to stay hydrated, etc. I laid down on the examining table and told her that I was feeling incredibly lightheaded right then. Like seeing spots and fuzz and everything. She calmly told me that everything was fine and if I was going to pass out, lying down would be the best time to do it. But uh, no thanks, I do not want to pass out AT ALL so if I could just lie on my side or something that would be great. I laid on my side and she s-l-o-w-l-y sat me back to a seated position with the automatic examining table. I had a dress on and no undies at this point as I had the GB swab done and told her I just needed to sit there for a minute more as I still was not feeling normal at all. I was very hot and clammy and my head just felt so thick and fuzzy. I told her that it normally goes away in a few minutes and I was just going to stay seated if that was ok. She looked concerned and told me she was going to drop off my swab with a nurse and would be right back. "I'll leave the door cracked; yell if you need anything before I get back, ok?" Well.

Apparently when she came back, I had already blacked out and was jerking about. I remember nothing of the sort of course, as I thought I was taking a hard nap while the kids would not stop yelling. GEEZ CAN'T Y'ALL EVER LET MAMA JUST SLEEP FOR A MINUTE MY GAHD.

But when I opened my eyes, the doctor was leaned over me and there were suddenly a lot of people all around me and I spotted my panties still wadded up on top of my shoes over on the floor across the room and it was probably right about then that I realized what had happened... They transferred me over to labor and delivery for monitoring and I stayed there for about two hours while they listened to baby (perfect) and watched my blood pressure (finally went back to normal after bottoming out). How freaking embarrassing. I mean, I want alone time more than wine at this point (AND THAT IS A VERY STRONGLY WORDED STATEMENT RIGHT THERE), but I don't really wanna have to have some sort of medical emergency in order to get it. I also felt bad that here I was eating graham crackers and sipping apple juice while Steve was having to call in and explain that he couldn't come into work because his wife blah blah blah. The timing of all of this could not have been worse. And I blame it entirely on that donut.

My usual breakfast for the past 9ish months:

eggs, avocado (only because it was that one hour where it had ripened and was in danger of going bad), and a sad english muffin with whipped cream cheese attempting to fill the place of where a bagel should go

My body being used to eating that first thing in the morning, in addition to not having had a donut in many many months, in addition to eating the donut on an empty stomach probably caused my blood sugar spike, blood pressure, panty-droppin' blackout.

But the doctors, not knowing this backstory, just assumed that I am incredibly stupid and have never lived with intense humidity (lolz), have no clue how to properly hydrate myself, and have the nutritional education of a rock. And I don't wanna brag, but I don't have to pee every 48 seconds because I don't know how to properly hydrate. Anyways, embarrassing all around but at least everyone there knows me now so maybe I can work those connections for a speedy epidural come baby time or something.

On Tuesday, we went to the first summer PWOC meeting. There was childcare provided (I'm not gonna lie y'all, that was like, 50% of the motivation I had to get dressed and out the door that day) and even though Will has never been left alone without me or Steve or some family member he knows, I thought what better time than the present. I told the ladies in the baby room about his "condition" (being a mama's boy is no joke) and bolted outta there the minute his eyes were off of me. Approximately 20 seconds later I could hear his screams fill the hallway. Lovely. I told them I'd come get him if he didn't stop crying. Sam and Molly were perfectly content to color and play games in the "big kids" room and they didn't want to leave when it was time to go. Willie, however, was brought to me, puffy-eyed, red-faced, and trying to catch his breath after about ten minutes. Luckily, this traumatic experience caused him to be quite clingy and snuggly and he sat very still with me for most of the meeting. The last part of it, when he wanted to get down and wander all over creation, I tried to pacify him by letting him take 6,000 photos just like this one on my phone.

Nice table leader: "And how can we pray for you this week?"
Me: "Oh my gaaaaaaaaahd I need patience or a sitter or a pregnancy-approved box of wine or SUMTHIN."
Nice table leader, writing something in her notes: "I will definitely be praying for you.... or sending a random CPS well check to your house, one of the two, the Lord be with you..."

I did meet lots of really nice people there, including another mom who is due one day after me with her fourth as well. She even lives a street away so maybe we can converge circuses on a playground at some point when we're done waddling everywhere.

And that afternoon I picked up a brand new breast pump (free from Tricare!!) and we immediately celebrated by getting drinks at Sonic happy hour. Nothing makes me happier than a half priced sweet tea amen. We did not exit the medical supply store without Molly LOUDLY asking why those ladies didn't suck all the milk outta my boobies. As we passed construction workers who were suddenly staring (at my chest? my squad full of children? did I remember to put on pants today?), I reminded Molly that that's what the PUMP was for and that's why we went into that store in the first place and omg formula is looking really attractive to me right now.

If they get to Steve first in the mornings, he lets them watch Tom and Jerry. It's no wonder he's the fun parent. It's also no wonder he lets them watch that crap when he doesn't have to deal with the behavior that it causes for the rest of the day. Yesterday was a tough one FOR SURE.

more unimpressed Willie selfies on my phone, in bursts of course, because why take one photo when you could take 87 in 3 seconds and it makes that cool noise

He's so cute though, and I definitely dread the day I have to chop those curls off.

The kids and I ran some errands that afternoon since Steve got stuck on staff duty and successfully did our first craigslist run in west central Louisiana. Woop woop! Got some patio furniture (needs love) for the back porch and then we hit up Walmart for some random odds and ends. The end of the day was pretty horrible with Sasspants and the Gang and it was very early baths and bedtimes after I slapped together some Idontgiveashit pb&j sandwiches.

We got new neighbors attached to us (unfortunately) and they were up slinging their kids into the shared wall until well past 1130, which coincided perfectly with this baby strangling me with acid. At least I could text Steve about it since he was awake. I didn't feel quite as bad when Will woke up screaming at 630 this morning. Y'all need to be made aware of how thin these walls are and maybe BE MORE CONSIDERATE during bedtime hours. We headed outside to wake up the rest of the neighbors of course.

Will did a nice job of getting bloody before 9am.

The second bandaid was applied maybe ten minutes after the first and I literally just slapped it on over the first one. This kid needs bubble wrap more than bandaids. Steve came home and went to bed and I'm not sure there's anything harder than keeping these three kids quiet while someone sleeps upstairs. We ran some errands and then played outside some more and then enforced quiet time. Which is mostly me clomping up and down the creaky stairs whisper-hissing at everyone to BE QUIET OR ELSE. I'm sure that is super helpful to those that are actually sleeping. Anyways, the wannabe quiet time is over and I'm back on duty. Until next time...