life with the lieutenant

• Hoe-wee moe-wee, as Sam would say. Another weekend is upon us! Hallelujah. Just in time for me to recap last weekend/week. Mostly in pictures because that's just how we roll around here.
• We have spent so much time at this kids' cafe this winter that we could probably just drop the kids off and leave at this point, knowing full well that they would be taken care of.

This lady is the sweetest. She speaks almost zero English but she loves on these kids like they were her own.

She also fixes Molly's hair (I am not qualified!) and yes, there are still Christmas decorations up EVERYWHERE here! My kids are so confused.

• Thursday brought many f bombs, if I'm being honest. They were going off like fireworks in my head. We got word that morning that the four-day weekend was being taken away (from Steve's battalion ONLY) for no reason. (I mean, no reason other than the fact that Steve works for huge assholes. I can say that on a private blog, right? It's true, either way.) And after booking a hotel in Seoul for Saturday night, the battalion commander would not sign the pass Steve needed to spend the night in Seoul. (Because yes, we are freaking 16 years old and have to ask permission to do anything or go anywhere.) So I cancelled the reservation and began to pout about what we wouldn't be doing over our smog-filled weekend. As I came to peace with the decision that we would all survive (by drinking and/or watching a lot of kids' movies), Steve came home to tell me that the 4-day was miraculously reinstated. (Probably because the asshole battalion commander realized that he cannot take away a federal holiday as if he were some sort of commander in chief. ASSHOLE.) Still would not sign the freaking pass, and Steve still had to work all day Friday (day 1 of the 4-day weekend), but we finally escaped that evening for a much-needed date.

We know not what we ate, but we are fairly certain it was some variety of beef. It was delicious.

I'm going to be sad when every date is not a huge adventure. This place has spoiled us.

And a random picture that I think is funny.

• Saturday morning, we headed off to Seoul to meet up with Aggie and family to go see the National Science Museum.

Cool kids

Lunchtime out with kids is like trying to thread a needle while running with the bulls.

• I won't speak for Aggie or her children, but this place was way over Sam and Molly's heads. So crowded. Much whining. We needed a trampoline up in there stat.
• Sunday morning....

• We survived mass with only one walk outside to scare the good behavior back into her.
• And on the way home, we finally decided to pay a visit to the ice skating rink on the side of the road.

• Having never skated outdoors before, it took me a minute to peel my claws out of Steve's arm (poor man was pulling all three of us at times) and regain my balance. After we got over the skating-on-bumpy-ice bit, it was terrific fun!

• They had these nifty boards with blades on the bottoms for kids (also, sleds for rent) and ice picks to push along with. Sheer genius, and Sam loved having the freedom to scoot all over the place on his own. (Molly preferred for me to skate along behind her and give her a push every so often instead of paddling herself.) 

• Sam began to ask us if he could use real skates like the big kids, but Molly's cheeks were already turning purple, so we had to postpone that until next time.

Pure happiness

• Frilly, this place was not. But man alive, I had no idea a plastic tent could be so warm!

The glamorous entrance

skate rental/snack bar/Molly

furnace to warm the plastic tent

• After naps, we met up with friends at (where else?) our favorite kids' cafe. It was starting to snow and we spent all evening there letting the kids run off their endless energy.

Fabulous sand cake that the sweet lady crafted for her adoring fans

Loungin'

Snooooooowwwww!!!!

• The next morning we were greeted with a gorgeous sunrise and all of the snow we have been dreaming about all winter!

• We wasted no time in getting bundled and helping out the guards with their snow-plowing.

After the ice-skating, I guess she feels the need to be pulled about in her own personal chariot. Off to get some groceries!

Steve had just taken his wet gloves upstairs and was bringing back dry gloves to swap out. In the meantime, snow angels could not be made.

I have this exact photo from last year but can't find it yet! Will work on the side-by-side comparison for ya.

• After playing outside in the snow, we came in and had lunch. No matter what I did or wore, I could NOT warm myself up. I was a little sad that our weekend was coming to an end too. Steve said, "Why don't you and Monica go do something? Go to that bath house and warm up." I texted her and we both decided this was a great idea, despite having never been to the bath house before. So off we went. We were given little pink outfits to wear (shorts and shirt set) and after storing our belongings in the lockers, we headed upstairs. After going into the women's side, we were instantly in nakedland. Apparently this was the point at which we were supposed to drop our clothes and wander about in the nude. We saw women chatting naked, eating snacks naked, lying around naked, and talking to their children naked. The American in me was thinking, "this is just so weird. Why is everyone so comfortable like this?" And then I was embarrassed because WE ARE ALL WOMEN and why am *I* so embarrassed of my own body? I wish I could tell you that I suddenly had a burst of confidence and dropped my drawers and strutted my stuff, but my friend Monica has abs (like, visible ones!) so I obviously tried to avoid naked activities. We wandered about and then noticed people going into a big room. Ah! The bath house! We waltzed in and stared. Our first error, apparently. We saw a section where women were laid out on tables getting scrubbed, a section with showers, and plenty of jacuzzi-like pools. As we were taking all of this in, a lady runs up to us and shoos us out the door. She hollers at a Korean employee (clothed) and she hollers at some young girls (clothed) to take us with them. We go with them, because what else could we do? We followed these girls upstairs and they took us to..... the FULLY CLOTHED section of the bath house. Ah, now this was more like it. Except it kinda resembled some sort of FEMA tent after a natural disaster. People were just lying all over the floors napping. There were many non-FEMA-like aspects to this area too. There were fried chicken places and massage chairs and a full-size swimming pool and a kids play place and tvs and a computer cafe. We saw some people going into a small room and we decided we'd just follow them right on in, since everyone was wearing clothes and all! Turns out it was a huge sauna! With hot rocks! So we lay down on these mats and discuss how often we think they sanitize these mats (probably never) and we are laying on these wooden "pillows" and sweating our guts out and pretending it's refreshing and making jokes at all the people who get up to leave ("if you can't take the heat, get out of the sauna! har har har!"). Finally we have had enough and we get up to leave. As we walk out of the super low door, we notice a number above it. "Seventy-one degrees! Huh! I wonder what that is in fahrenheit." Let me just whip out my converter and OH MY GOD IT'S A HUNDRED AND SIXTY DEGREES. After high-fiving over how bad-ass we are for roasting our brains out in the hot rock desert sauna, we decided to sit on the massage chairs (you're welcome, people who used those chairs after us) and get beat up for a few minutes. It was only slightly relaxing and we soon moved on to seeing if there were any more clothed rooms to wander around in. We headed back down to the naked room and decided to do the only semi-clothed activity they had- steaming your lady bits. The lady who ran the place (clothed) told us that steaming helps to "tighten the uterus! clear the skin! lose the weight!" Where do we sign up? We had to strip and put on these weird pink plastic mumu's and then sort of squat over this chair with a hole in the center. Underneath the hole, she placed the herbs and boiling water.

• She told us that if it got too hot, or if we were uncomfortable, she would come turn down the heat. Awesome. So we sit. And sit. And sit. And then it starts to feel as if our inner thighs might be scalding. We call her over and she says,
• Too hot?
• Yes, it's getting really hot. Can you turn it down just a bit?
• Heat is good for the uterus. You must have very cold uterus. You will be fine. You want water?
• Ok? (wtf?)

• So we continued to endure the worst case of swamp ass ever, all to improve our icy cold uteri. It was easily the weirdest thing I've ever done. And you do remember that I have visited a penis cafe, right? And this was weirder. 
• The next day, I tried to sneak over to Monica's house via the parking garage (all of our apartment buildings are connected underground) with the kids (all of us were still in our pajamas) and of course I saw every American that lives here. We finally made it over (after all sorts of embarrassing small talk) and bounced out their energy on the bounce house.

This ended just as well as you're thinking it did

• Then we (I) decorated our stick for Valentine's Day.

• And today, we ended up at a play place that far exceeded our expectations. This play place was inside of a store similar to a Target. You can sign your kids in AND LEAVE THEM THERE while you shop. What a glorious feeling! Worth the seven dollars! We'll be back to give them more of our money in the future for sure.

• If you've hung on this long, my God, go eat some chocolate, you trooper.