What if?

Because it's a slow news week, because Steve is STILL not home, and because I am trying to avoid thinking about what to cook for dinner, I stole this little quiz/questionnaire from Somewhere Over The Camo.


What if I were to get pregnant?
Hm. Well. I currently am, and I was under the vague impression that you couldn't get double pregnant.

What if I could have any job in the world?
I personally feel like I have the best job in the world right now. While being employed in the sense that I could earn a paycheck sounds rewarding, and the interaction with adults that don't speak primarily in whine would be delightful, I get a lot of gratification from knowing that all the clothes and sheets are clean, dishes are done, dinner is ready, and I'm a big part of making my family's house a home.

What if I had a day all to myself?
Well this scenario would be LOVELY. I actually mentioned this to Steve last week. "What if we didn't have Sam right now? What would I be doing this week while you're out in the field?" I could peruse the new Bed, Bath and Beyond store that opened up here for as long as I see fit. (Shut it. There isn't much else to do in this town.) I could grab lunch with a friend. And ENJOY IT. I could get a pedicure!
But in doing all of that, I would miss out on a lot. Mainly, Sam doing bizarr-o laps downstairs at warp speed, the giggles that come from lotioning him up after a bath, and truly enjoying the times that I DO have to myself, like his naps. With that said though, I did sign him up at CYS this week so that he can be a part of hourly care here on post whenever I see fit. Heh.

What if I could get married all over again?
If I could get married again, I would obviously pick the exact same person. I would pick him again a million times. I might choose a different dress. This comes from watching multiple episodes of "Say Yes To The Dress" and realizing that maybe I had a very narrow vision of what I should look like on my wedding day. I would definitely not change a thing about that groom's cake though. Le-YUM.

What if I could live anywhere in the US?
I would honestly steer clear of the South. (Sorry family!) I'm just REALLY sick of the wishy-washy-hot-as-hell-in-July weather year-round and am ready for the day when I don't sweat through my shirt. I would love to live someplace that experiences all four seasons, but also where the people are friendly and polite and don't want to make everything into a political argument. Maybe then I could downgrade to a non-prescription strength deodorant.

What if I were to have more children?
Well that is happening whether I'm ready or not. And while I might not be physically/emotionally/mentally prepared for more kids (hahahahaha I'M NOT. Yet.), I will gladly welcome any addition to our family. I am flabbergasted still that God sees me fit to care for even one child, much less two. I'll take as many as he'll give me. (But I will most likely draw the line before we get to Duggar-proportions. I just could NOT. handle. twenty. kids. No.)

What if I could have any talent in the world?
I would love to have the ability to make really good, meaningful small talk. I feel like this would come in very handy in the military world since you are somewhat forced to converse with people you met four seconds ago and try and act like it isn't really awkward. I have gotten better at it, but am nowhere near anything resembling "graceful" in new social settings. I would also love to remember people's names after they introduce themselves to me. That might also help with the small talk.

What if you met me in real life?
Well I think everyone who reads this blog knows me in real life. Otherwise you probably wouldn't be reading. Because really- who could stand the mundane things I write about on here? "My kid got a tooth!" "My kid ate solids!" "We moved again!"
But I guess if I DON'T actually know you in real life, I would probably not make the best first impression on you since I blow at small talk. So...

What if I went back to school?
I'm almost hesitant to answer this question for fear that the phone calls will start up again. I swear every college (online and physical) has called me the last few months MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY asking me about going back to school. I then have to cut them off very rudely and explain that I already WENT to school, I got my MRS degree, and I now specialize in domestic engineering. I have next to no desire to return to school.

What if money weren't an object?
If money weren't an object, I would love to travel. Everywhere. Nonstop. I would love to renovate a really old Southern house so that it still has charm and character, but so that it also has the amenities that Southern people need. (Like, an A/C unit. And a huge kitchen sink.) I would also pay someone else to bathe the dogs. And I would DEFINITELY hire a night nurse for Second Baby. Because night feedings are not my specialty. Here's to hoping Steve hits the Powerball really soon.

What if I could meet one celebrity?
Hm. I'm not sure I would want to. Most celebrities are SO WEIRD. And I don't think they're nearly as special as they are dumb. So, I would probably pass.

What if I could only shop at one store for the rest of my life?
It would definitely be Target. Hands down. Actually, a Super Target. They don't make those here in Nowheresville though, but I've seen 'em in the big city.

What if I could choose an animal/pet?
I would definitely choose Odie. There is no denying that she has the sweetest face and personality out there. And she looks about a gazillion times sweeter next to her yelpy, whiney sister. I don't know if I could ever choose another pug though, for the sheer fact that I don't think it could ever live up to the standards that Odie has set.

What if I could go on a trip right now?
I would re-do our honeymoon. Same vacation/cruise/time of year, but we would do more, see more, and pack a friggin' carry-on.

What if I had to choose between a house cleaner and a professional chef?
I would choose the professional chef, no doubt! I don't mind cleaning the house or running errands, but cooking after a long day? Ugh. A chef to make anything we want? Healthy? Junky? Late-night? Early morning? Oh yeah.

What if I had the option to get plastic surgery?
I don't think I'm high enough on the totem pole to correct God. He made me like this for a reason and I see no sense in changing it. He's got a sense of humor about some things though, amiright?