Betcha didn't know we were masters of disguise

An actual conversation I had with my husband recently:

Me: So I was thinking that since we've pretty much decided to take my car with us to Korea that I can finally commit to that new Auburn sticker we bought nine months ago and slap it on there. I guess I was waiting so long to be sure that we weren't going to sell it.

Steve: I wouldn't do that.

Me: Why not?

Steve: It's not a good idea to mark up your car with things that scream, "America!" because then we might be recognized as foreigners and targeted.


Yes. Good point. Because if we didn't have that little Auburn sticker on our car, we might just be mistaken for your typical Korean family.

Say "kim-CHEESE!"

The Great Blate 2013

Remember when I said I was going to take a trip? A vacation? (In mom-speak: vay-kay-shun (n.) a trip in which you do not bring your offspring and deal with their mysterious rashes, worry with their lack of/voracious/bipolar appetites, wipe snotty noses, clean ungodly amounts of poop out of places where poop shouldn't even be found, and deal with the overall day-to-day affairs of anyone but yourself.)

So, my friends, I went on a VACATION. And it was GLORIOUS. Nevermind that my parents thought I was going to end up dead in someone's trunk in California because I was meeting internet friends that I had never even SPOKEN to. A vacation is attractive to me no matter what the circumstances. And my lovely friends turned out to be the exact opposite of the California serial killer stereotype.

Kate and Lauren (who, being the good bloggers they are, recapped this blate (blog + date) in a timely fashion) have been blog friends of mine for quite some time. We started cooking up this blate sometime last year. I found a deal of a plane ticket after we had been talking about this for a while and then just sort of invited myself and set the dates. Luckily that just so happened to work out with everyone's schedules. Kate was our most gracious host, as were her two adorable kids and happy husband. She is just as fashionable and put-together in-person as she appears on her blog- it's not a front. Let's all be disappointed together as we gear up for another day in yoga pants. Her kids are also cuter in person than in pictures. I half-expected this, not gonna lie. Lauren squealed when we saw each other at the airport and then she showed me Gilroy the garlic town, and when she loved the smell as much as I did, I kinda knew we would be fast friends. She also has insider wine knowledge (being in the biz and all), so I basically just did whatever she did when we were drinking wine, and she could have poured wine up her nose and told me it was tastier that way and I definitely would have done it. She also helped get me through the paralyzing anxiety that was making outfits out of the clothes I brought with me. PAY NO MIND to the fact that I laid out and tried on outfits before I left. I got to Kate's house and instantly everything in that suitcase was garbage. Luckily, in addition to knowing her wine, she also knows the power of a positive comment, so she helped me through. (And GOD BLESS YOU, Lauren, for that.)

I know how blessed I am to be able to get away for a bit and take such a fantastic trip- from having the world's best babysitter (hey Mama!), to a supportive husband (hey Steve! I know you're not reading this but mad props to you for acting like I deserved this break!), to friends who weren't conspiracy-blogger-murderers (that's you, Lauren and Kate!), to a MIL who sent me drink coups for the flight (thanks Wendy!)- it was just all-around awesome.

I just now uploaded the photos from my camera to the computer and I took 19 pictures total. Wow. BAD BLOGGER. I took even fewer pictures with my phone! I was just SO BUSY.... relaxing and not giving two shits about anything besides relaxing and enjoying these new, but not-really-new friends.

You cannot even imagine the issues that come from having toes that are all the same length. Peep-toed shoes? Nothing is peeping through. Sandals? Fat feet hanging off the sides and toes with an inch of shoe in front of them. Noooooobody knows the troubles I've seeeeeeeen...

After eating plenty of cheese, drinking more good wine than I ever have in my life (oh $5 bottle of wine at the Class Six, how sub-par you are looking these days), and staying up later than my mom-schedule typically allows (time difference notwithstanding), I had to go home. Boo. Wah. Grumble. Groan.

This made it easier.

Once I landed back in Nastyville, I was greeted by another blogger friend who I know very well, but FUNNY THING- she tried to kill me on the trip there and back. (Didn't see that little twist coming, didja?) You can see Sarah's icy road recap here and I don't even know if she'll recap the return trip, but we were trying to get home before the tornadoes hit (welcome home Jenn, right?) and people were doing construction at 9pm on the roads and we were talking a lot and folks around us were driving crazy andandand. We survived obviously.

Getting back into the swing of things was not as painful as I was anticipating, but I was greeted with teething (Molly), a double ear infection (Molly), insurance issues (doesn't Tri, doesn't Care strikes again), a haircut (Sam- oy), and a kind notice from Verizon alerting me to the fact that I had gone dangerously over my allotted minutes for the month. So that was fun. We're finally on the downward slope of this deployment though and that vacation was JUST what I needed to keep me sane until the end.

(For a more picture-laden recap of The Great Blate 2013, visit Kate's blog. For a more descriptive version, visit Lauren's blog.)